March 28 - One Year Anniversary

March 28th will mark my ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY as a blogger.

When I retired, I found no one would read my memos anymore. My hand puppet interpretation on the pitfalls of the 2nd Amendment was really lost on the Kindergarteners at my son’s school.

I needed a release for my pent-up thoughts, so I started a blog, WWJD (What Would Jay Do.)

Within my blog, my A- personality took over.

I added structure to the blog through regular entries, such as:
PET PEEVE MONDAY
WHERE ARE THEY NOW? WEDNESDAY and
FRIDAY FUNNY

Many of you sent me direct emails of agreement rather than posting comments onto the blog. Do you not want others to know that you have tasted the kool-aid and it was good?

Of the comments that are posted to the blog, 98% are positive. Either way, I always enjoy the feedback. Criticism drowns some people. I’m as buoyant as they come.

My Dad once told me I was homely and adopted. He also told me I was brought into the family as the third child so that he wouldn’t have to go to Vietnam. He also told me I was one-eighth Cherokee. I must have been the first and only albino Cherokee.

My Business Entrepreneur Instructor my senior year at Ohio State gave me a C on my Business Plan to turn apartments into condos. Les Wexner, founder of The Limited, accepted the plans and made millions. My instructor is now in jail on Insider Trading charges.

Quentin Tarantino couldn’t make this stuff up.

Do you think a disagreeable remark or a negative comment would cause irreparable harm?

In publishing this blog, I’ve yet to suffer from writer’s block. Then again, it doesn’t pay very well, so the pressure is quite low.

If nothing else, my typing skills have progressed to the proficiency level of most third graders.

In Year 2, I’m thinking about some changes. Solutions Saturday may replace Friday Funny. I would be willing to publish a Guest Blog, if some one would ask.

I’m off on vacation until early April. No blogs, just sun, surf, and some golf.

As the hungry Italians say on their way out the door, “Chow.”

March 26 - Final Four Fever

No PET PEEVE MONDAY this week.

Today, we celebrate The Ohio State University’s basketball team ascension to the FINAL FOUR.

The last time, OSU was in the mix was 1999. I was traveling in the Far East. When OSU advanced to the Sweet Sixteen, I was delivering a Y2K Seminar in Bangkok. I’m the tall blond headed person in the back row of the photo.

From Bangkok, I went on to Japan for four days to deliver another seminar. I listened to the Regional Semi-Final via the Internet as OSU disposed of Auburn.

Since I was in the area and had a free weekend, I decided to swing by New Zealand and catch up with some friends.

I touched down in NZ just as OSU was tipping off against St. John’s in the Regional Finals for a trip to the Final Four. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a Basketball score in a Cricket nation, half away around the world?

I could find out the score until the game was over for two hours. US and New Zealand relations will never be the same. OSU had won 77-74 and advanced.

Next it was off to deliver the same Y2K Strategic Plans to Australia. After Australia, I was to travel to Singapore for a weeklong award trip reserved for the company’s top performers.

As my time in Australia drew to a close, I began to develop a strange illness. The Australian doctors had never seen it before. There was no rash, no fever, and no blistering sores from Bangkok. What was it? It was FINAL FOUR FEVER.

I cancelled my trip and rebooked my flights. It was a mess, but I had the International Date Line in my favor. Marty McFly couldn’t have scheduled a faster trip.

I rebooked through Singapore Airlines from Sydney through Hong Kong onto Lufthansa Airlines through Zurich and finally onto Delta into Cincinnati. Total travel time was 41 hours. I touched down in Cincinnati with six hours to spare.

Although OSU lost that night to Connecticut in the National Semi-Final, I would have never forgiven myself if I had missed that game.

This year, it should be much easier to catch the game.

Good Luck to the Buckeyes this Saturday against Georgetown.

March 21 - Where Are They Now? Wednesday - Hot Springs Class of 1964

This week’s WHERE ARE THEY NOW? WEDNESDAY focuses on the below picture.


How many times have you seen this Classmates.com pop-up ad on your computer?

It was bugging me for the longest time. I thought, “Hey, I know that girl.”

Then it hit me. I went to school with that girl.

I immediately dusted off my High School yearbook. There she was, Carolyn B.

I remember her from Career Day. Carolyn said she wanted to get into computers. Little did I know she wanted get into EVERY computer.

What would be funny is to see the below ad for Classmates.com.

I wonder WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

Oh, yes, they hooked up, at least once. It’s Bill and Hillary.

They want to control your taxes, your education, your healthcare, and in some instances your daughter.

March 19 - Pet Peeve Monday - TV Spousal Support

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY was in full bloom this weekend during the avalanche of NCAA basketball games. My PEEVE is the constant camera shots of the coaches’ wives. They are so intense, covering their faces, unable to look at the action. Originally I thought, “hey that’s sweet, she cares, she really cares.” And then it came to me. She cares all right. She cares that he better win so they can hold the university hostage as her husband goes job hunting up the college coaching ladder. As always, follow the money.

It happens every year. I call it, “Driving Miss Cinderella’s Pumpkin.” A Cinderella university is an underdog that outplays the larger school. The coach (the driver) gets his 15 minutes of fame and moves onto the next high paying job. He leaves his players, his recruits, his fans and boosters for a better deal. Sometimes he doesn’t even have to win to get an offer. Sean Miller, the coach of Xavier, lost a heart breaker to Ohio State this past weekend. He is already rumored to get over a 100% pay raise, just to STAY at Xavier. Imagine his compensation package if he chooses to move up to the open spots at Minnesota or Michigan.

Bruce Pearl, now coaching at Tennessee, was given the escalator ride after leading UW-Milwaukee to the Sweet Sixteen in 2005. He now coaches at Tennessee. He also likes to paint his body orange in support of his school at times. I can't exactly see Coach Tressel going that route. There are many, many, more examples of job jumpers, but I digress from my PET PEEVE.

Why do they show the emotionally distraught and obviously unstable wife on TV? When I was presenting at a critical meeting in a far away country, I doubt my Japanese audience would have paused to reflect on the “courage” of my spouse supporting me.

Why is it important in a basketball game? Do we subconsciously or in my friend’s case think out loud, “Boy, she’s hot, I hope her husband’s team wins. And if it’s not too much trouble could maybe their marriage be in trouble.”

In the rare instance that the wife is unattractive, does my friend also think, “Man he should be a better coach with all his free time. Who would want to go home to that?”

My friend can be so shallow, yet funny.

Watch the NCAA games this coming weekend. I bet they show each wife at least three times. I may even watch a women’s Basketball game to see if they show the husband or their partner. OK that was my friend talking again.

March 18- What A Game!!!

Whew. What a game!!!


What is being already dubbed "THE SHOT"; Senior Ron Lewis nails a three pointer to tie Xavier with 2 seconds to go. Ohio State (Michael Conley, Jr.) then dominates the overtime to beat Xavier 78-71 and almost cover the 7.5 point spread. OSU moves onto the Sweet Sixteen.


OSU was given a wake-up call. They were down by 9 points with less than 3 minutes to go in the game. All of my kids and my dog were looking for entrance into the witness protection program should OSU lose the game.

But some how, some way, OSU won the game.

Hopefully they will use the game to motivate them to play up to their potential. Almost all past NCAA champions have had a close call on their way to a championship.

I would compare Lewis’ shot to Craig Krenzel’s fourth and one pass with a minute to go to beat Purdue during the Ohio State’s football team’s improbable march to the 2002 National Championship. Hopefully I’m more prophetic than I was about this year’s BCS National Championship Game.

By the way, Ron Lewis graduated from OSU today. Great story – not covered by any of the sports channels because they want to focus on colleges’ low graduation rates.

Check back on April 2 to see if my prediction comes true.

Go Bucks.

March 17 - Happy St. Patrick's Day

FYI - It is apparently against the school dress code to color your children’s hair green for St. Patrick's Day. They are definitely not going to like my Martin Luther King, Jr. Day plans.

Happy St Patrick’s Day

March 16 - MY MARCH MADNESS

OK, OK, I get it. I’ve had a lot of emails the past 2 weeks because of my lack of blog posts.

I was NOT on vacation.

I was NOT in jail.

I was NOT in the Bahamas helping with the burial of Anna Nicole or filing for custody of Danny-lynn.

I was dealing with a health care scare. A close relative needed a heart stent after an angiogram indicated some artery blockage.

Being close in age and heritage, I was encouraged to get a check-up.

Using my marital contacts and the United States’ advanced health care system, I attempted to discover the status of my own health.

In the last nine days, I have:

• Had my arm stuck by a needle nine times


• Had blood samples drawn three times


• Peed in a cup twice


• Had my chest hair shaved in a pattern resembling crop circles


• Sat motionless in a Nuclear medicine apparatus for twenty minutes twice


• Performed a Stress Test that most decathletes would refuse


• Had radioactive toxins injected into my system 4 times


• Had a medium size finger indicate that they were number #1 and thrust into my #2 area


• Fasted until well past noon on four of the nine days


• Answered the SAME basic health history questions five times, what is wrong with putting bacon bits on your breakfast cereal anyway?


• Had my “carpet” shaved as if hard wood floors should only be in half of the house

The end result was the picture below.

Although it may look like the microscopic presence of hair follicle split ends, it actually illustrates:

I had a FALSE POSITIVE EKG test
I had a FALSE POSITIVE failed stress test
I DO NOT HAVE artery blockage

“False Positives” is a term that has NO value or use, especially in the medical field. Why not just say, “My Bad.”

ALL of my arteries, coronaries, and subsequent corollaries are clean and clear.

As my wife was watching the angiogram in real time, I thought I saw a tear in her eye representing releif that everything was OK. However, I then wondered if it may have been a tear of disappointment that I would be around for a while, and that the lottery may be a better chance of paying off than my life insurance.

She cleared up any doubt by claiming it was allergies.

Per the Doctor’s instructions, I can continue “normal” activity in three days. That includes blogging. Welcome to MY MARCH MADNESS.

I could have used my PET PEEVE MONDAY to address the mind-less redundancies of our current health care system. Instead, I think I will take the weekend to enjoy my clean bill of health.

Cheers.

March 12 - Pet Peeve Monday - Day Light non-Savings

When I started blogging almost one year ago, I designated every Monday as PET PEEVE MONDAY. My first PET PEEVE MONDAY was on April 3, 2006. It was my distaste for Daylight Savings Time.

My problem with DAY LIGHT SAVINGS TIME (DST) has only been exacerbated this year because Congress moved DST up three weeks with their Energy Policy Act of 2005. I guess they really weren’t the “Do Nothing” Congress. They were the “Do Nothing Smart” Congress.

My house has 68 CLOCKS:

• 11 Wall Clocks
• 7 Radio Clocks
• 18 TVs with Clocks
• 9 VCR / DVD players with Clocks
• 2 Cell phones with Clocks
• 1 Microwave with a Clock
• 1 Convection Oven with a Clock
• 1 Regular Oven with a Clock
• 5 Computers with Clocks
• 5 Phones with Clocks
• 1 Answering Machine with a Clock
• 3 Wristwatches
• 2 Cars with Clocks
• 1 Pager with a Clock
• 1 Coffee Maker with a Clock

A few of them would be automatically updated when DST would kick in. Now that Congress has gotten involved, all of them required intervention except my cell phones. Additionally, the ones that would have automatically updated, will change again in three weeks.

I believe all the money we supposedly save in energy by changing the clocks three weeks earlier will be spent in the time we must expend to change our clocks, sometimes twice in a three week period. I bet the people in Indiana are really confused.

I lost more than hour just adjusting my clocks. This also bothers me because we lose the hour in the middle of the night when we are sleeping. Why not take that hour at 11 a.m. when all we would miss would be Rosie O’Donnell on "The View." In fact, everytime I watch Rosie, I feel that that's another hour I'll never get back.

I have a new metric called the Rosie Meter. I use it to guage how long I can watch the show before Rosie offends me and a large portion of America. It’s been as quick as 32 seconds. I wish the clock on her 15 minutes of fame would spring forward.

Rosie and Boy Gorge (George)

March 5 - Pet Peeve Monday - Walter Reed Hospital

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY is about the state of Veteran’s Hospitals like Walter Reed Army Medical Center. It’s NOT about the perceived scandal that was “uncovered” by the Washington Post. My PET PEEVE is about the indignant response that Washington’s politicos have exuded. These headline grabbers feign moral outrage when they hear about the dysfunctional nature in which we treat our veterans for the “first” time. (Again, I need a sarcasm font).

Read the below passage:

“A group of doctors in a veteran's hospital must contend with their hopeless situation: too many patients and not enough beds. The main cause of their problems is bureaucratic belt-tightening by the hospital administrators. The doctors are determined to give the best service they can, even if that means defying the orders of management and performing unauthorized operations. "

Is it?

A. The lead story from USA Today last week
B. A book summary by Michael Crichton
C. An episode of ER, Grey’s Anatomy or House
D. The plot of Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn ‘s book The Cancer Ward

The correct answer is NONE of the above. It is the PLOT SUMMARY from the 1992 movie, Article 99. It starred Ray Liotta, Keifer Sunderland, and recent Academy Award winner Forrest Whitaker.

My point and PEEVE are this. The deplorable treatment of our country’s heroes and veterans has been in existence since at least the Revolutionary War.

Revolutionary War soldiers lost their farms in order to pay back taxes that were imposed while they were serving their new country. This led to the "Shays' Rebellion," led by Massachusetts’ veteran, Capt. Daniel Shay President James Monroe did not settle the claims of Revolutionary War veterans until 1817.

Hanger Orthopedic Group, Inc. is the world's premier provider of orthotic and prosthetic services and products. They got their start during the Civil War, when 18-year-old James Edward Hanger, the second amputee of the Civil War was unhappy with his Government Issue leg. James Hanger decided to make his own prosthesis, and started a business in the prosthetic business in Richmond, VA, before the Civil War ended, serving both Yankee and Rebel soldiers.

World War I servicemen were discharged with $60 severances. Ultimately, World War I veterans collected about $700 in bonus money, but only after they marched on Washington and were routed by troops under the command of Gen. Douglas MacArthur.

Ron Kovic, detailed in his book and subsequent movie about the travesties afforded to Vietnam War veterans in “Born on the Fourth of July.”

It would BE news if our government did that right thing. How about treating every soldier injury with the respect and care commensurate with the sacrifices that soldier has given to this nation.

The travesty is that this story will only last a few more news cycles until Britney leaves rehab, Angelina Jolie adopts another baby, or until another American Idol is exposed.

March 3 - Carew Tower Climb

This is a follow-up to my February 14’s WHERE ARE THEY NOW? WEDNESDAY blog about my philanthropic friends.

In that blog, I was attempting to solicit support for a good cause. The American Lung Association hosted the “Climb the Carew.” It was a stair climb of the 45-floors of the Carew Tower in Cincinnati on Sunday, February 25, 2007.

On February 14, I had 12 supporters and was in the middle of the pack for fundraisers.

Since that February 14 blog, my support ballooned to 26 contributors. I was able to raise over $900 for the American Lung Association. As of last Sunday, I was #2 in contributions.

This year’s event has raised over $83,000 for the American Lung Association of Ohio. The proceeds from “Climb the Carew” will fund research for better treatments, education to reduce the impact of respiratory illness and support for people with lung disease and their loved ones.

My goal for this event was to raise a total of $804 ($1 for each step) and to complete the climb in less than 10 minutes. I met those goals.

There were 429 entrants in this year’s event. All entrants started at 15-second intervals. My team, A Few Old Men included:

• My sister, Jennifer, an avid marathoner
• Her husband, Michael, also a marathoner, but participating less than a month removed from surgery
• My friend, Scott, who runs and plays soccer

Michael, J. Jay, Jennifer, and Scott

Here were our results:

Jennifer placed 63rd. She completed the stairs in 8:06 and raised $165.

I placed 90th by completing the ascent in 8:34. I raised $900.02.

Michael stopping for oxygen on two occasions placed 96th with a time of 8:38. He raised $0.00.

Scott placed 214th, apparently getting lost and taking 10:46. Scott also raised $0.00.

I passed five people during my ascent. One fast Kenyan passed me.

Thanks to my long list of sponsors below:

Carol B., Phil C., Kathy H., Tom K., George L , Larry K., Chuck L., Greg S., Scott T., Sue W., Jeff L., Steve K., Trish A., Ed A., James G., Nick K., Dan K., Casey S., Al K., Joe F., Brad S., Marshall S., Jodi V., Michelle R., Heidi M., Mike L.

As they say on TV, the pledge lines are still open. The American Lung Association will continue to take pledges until March 25. Anyone wishing to pledge your support please visit MY SITE at the American Lung Association of Ohio.

There will be another climb next year. I'm looking to captain a team. Based on this year's fundraising results, it looks like I may have at least two openings.

Let me know if you want to join the team.

Thanks again for your support.