Feb. 27, 2012 - PPM - Politicians on Drugs?

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) concerns that outrage over Proposed Drug Testing for Welfare Recipients.

Nearly two dozen states are considering plans this session that would make drug testing mandatory for welfare recipients, according to the National Conference of State Legislatures.

Opponents believe the plan amounts to an unconstitutional search of people.

Even if it ruled unconstitutional, it would unconscionable to continue to fund entitlements at the current rate. Just under 50% of the nation receive some form of government aid. Shouldn’t there be some sorts of “means” test? For example, if you can afford drugs, you don't need welfare.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT LOGIC?

Maybe the politicians who don't support drug-free welfare checks should be tested for drugs?

If you have to pass a drug test in order to get a job and get paid, it only seems to reason that you should have to pass a drug test in order to NOT get a job and still get paid.

The US Government has spent $16 Trillion on welfare type entitlements since President Johnson declared a "War on Poverty" in 1964. Ironically, this is very close to our current National Debt. For all this money, the poverty rates have actually increased.

Some politicians, (and we know who), continue to pander to their base. If they cut off the free money, they may lose their vote.

Thomas Jefferson famously said, "The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not."

We are very close to that precipice.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Feb. 24, 2012 - Friday Funny - Dog Days of Winter

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY comes at a time when the Westminster Dog Show has just finished.

This "thrilling" event is played out of National TV. These "model" dogs have personal groomers, trainers, dietitians, and stay in exclusive hotels. They live a life much like Naomi Campbell, just without all the attitude.

I have a dog. He has no professional training or grooming. He eats DOG FOOD. I don't have an invisible fence and no matter what, he never wanders off. I never potty trained him, I just make him wear a diaper. The kids got tired of the diaper and learned to use the toilet. He either will, or he won't.

The person who bought the below book paid $12.95 on Amazon which is $12.95 more than I am willing to invest.

Feb. 20, 2012 – PPM – Racial (In) Sensitivities

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is the Subjective Nature of Political Correctness.

Last weekend, an ESPN writer was fired for using an "offensive" slang word to the Chinese in a headline. After Jeremy Lin, an American of Taiwan descent, and NY Knick basketball player, had a bad night; he offered that there was "A Chink in the Armor."

Funny to some, bad and out of line to many.

Never mind that the Chinese are the WORLD LEADER in human rights abuses, let's focus on a low level EPSN person. This "Headline Writer" problem only makes marginally more money than the Nike Shoe Factory Foreman at the Beijing Nike plant.

We are always very selective in our outrage.

It is OK for Rappers to say "Nigger", but everyone else must say the "N-word", always in hushed tones.

In 2006, Virginian Senator George Allen's Presidential campaign was ended because he called a heckler a "Macaca." A perceived French slang word for illegal African immigrants. Without Google, no one would have given Macaca a second thought.

Here's is my PEEVE.

If Macaca and Chink are SO offensive, why do the main stream media constantly repeat the word in their reporting? Every story this weekend led with the "Chink" reference. They would never consider using "Nigger" in their story if the story was juxtaposed? They instead defer to the "N-Word."

Bottom line, racial slangs are offensive and – OFFENSIVE is OFFENSIVE!!! Why aren't they treated equal? To me - THAT IS RACIST.

Growing up in a predominately black neighborhood, I was always called "Cracker." I just assumed it was because they had confused me with my neighbor, the "Grahams." Who knew?

Political Correctness should not be decided by those that report the news, but by those that live the real world.

Feb. 17, 2012 - Friday Funny - Reward Honesty

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY was sent to me from Illinois. It shows that the impact of the Obama policies have even hit "Blue" states.

If it was me, I would have dropped a dollar in his jar for his originality, honesty, and humor.

Feb. 13, 2012 – PPM – Writing a Wrong

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is the misuse of TWITTER. The use of Twitter has exploded, which is OK. The problem is that local papers have instructed their journalists (?) to reach out to the readers and use this social media.

These employees are unaccustomed to dealing with direct feedback and questions. Some handle it well, others, not so much.

Some see it as a "Bully Pulpit" where they can disparage, degrade, and dismiss, anyone that has a contrary view.

Case in point, Joe Reedy. Joe covers the Cincinnati Bengals and is also on Twitter as @joereedy.

Recently, I offered my consultation and guidance to Joe. Joe's recent posts and replies on Twitter were caustic and condescending to many. His Twitter profile states: "The Enquirer's Joe Reedy with Bengals news and other perspectives with steady doses of sarcasm and humor." At first, I tried to enlighten and educate Joe on the difference between sarcasm/humor and acerbic responses. I wasn't the only person to bring this to Joe's attention. Here are a couple of his Twitter responses:

RT @Janelle717
@joereedy Why do you have to be rude? You lose followers/readers, you lose your job. #Ungrateful>Increased numbers each year

RT @tvonallmen
@joereedy consider yourself unfollowed. So sick of RTs of your childish comebacks to those that tweet you negatively.>Bye

In his reply to my offer of assistance, Joe mentioned that his followers had only increased the past three years and that he had more followers than me. I indicated that he could have done better with a little less arrogance or condescension. My guidance was that quantity should not be confused with quality; otherwise Justin Beiber (16M followers) and Kim Kardashian (12M) would be in the White House as Barrack Obama only has 11M followers.

Next, I mentioned that any journalist (?) should know the difference between "your" and "you're" based on his below Tweet:

RT @StevO_1960
@joereedy Any chance Whit moves to Guard and we draft a Offensive Tackle?>Your kidding, right?

His reaction was to "Block" me from following him on Twitter. I've never been "blocked" but that is fine, I was only following because he said he used sarcasm and I like sarcasm. What really bothered me was that Joe didn't use sarcasm. But, then again, LIKE I needed more sarcasm.

Joe, here are a few examples of sarcasm:

Joe, if you don't improve your grammar, how will you ever advance to a larger market, LIKEToledo or Boise? (Sarcasm)

Joe, if you are going to write at a 3rd grade level, then I guess there (or in you're case, their) IS ALWAYS the Weekly Reader. (Sarcasm)

Joe, I usually charge for these interventions and lessons. But in your (or is it you're) case I do offer needs-based scholarships. YOUR welcome (AGAIN, Sarcasm and a bit of Irony.)

Joe is not alone in trying to use "perceived" power to administer his taunts from a "Bully Pulpit." Unfortunately, it is backfiring as their interpersonal and social skills are in need of a tune-up. One only has to look at the declining readership at Newsweek, one of the early Twitter adopters.

My advice has always been: Don't be a hater. Try harder. Be accepting of others. Use good grammar. Pay it forward. Tip your waiters and waitresses. Don't be a BULLY.

Feb. 10, 2012 - Friday Funny - Fishing

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY is about fishing. We’ve all heard the axiom “Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he’ll never go hungry.”

Ironically, I don't FISH.

Feb. 1, 2012 - Friday Funny - Pin the Tail on the Tattoo

This week’s FRIDAY FUNNY comes from a local doctor. In his normal daily practice he gets the opportunity to view many tattoos located in every geography of the human body.

I had come up with the idea of Tramp Stamp Bingo in an earlier blog.

The graphic below renders a probable psychological assessment based on the physical location of the tattoo.

Enjoy.

Jan. 30, 2012 – PPM - Political Endorsements

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) concerns POLITICAL ENDORSEMENTS.

Ironically, this was a PPM for me almost 4 years ago to the day.

As we progress through the Republican Primaries, most of the state specific politicians are deciding to "Endorse" their candidate.

It is even worse when a "Hollywood type" endorses a politician.

You know what all of these people have in common? They all get ONE VOTE. Why should their opinion count? Why should we care?

I'm actually more likely NOT to vote for someone who has been endorsed by a has-been Politician.

Why should I care if Bob Dole, John McCain, or John Kerry endorses someone. THEY LOST!!!

Knowing that I am somewhat knowledgeable on the issues and the candidates, people have sought my counsel on the choices still available. I tell them to make up their own minds.

In South Carolina, the Governor Nikki Haley endorsed Mitt Romney. He Lost.

In Florida, Herman Cain and Sarah Palin endorsed Newt Gingrich. He Lost.

Everyone is trying to get Donald Trump's or Rush Limbaugh's endorsement. WHY?

I suggest we should enact a law that if you tell us who you are voting for, you no longer get to vote. It is supposed to be a private process. Let's keep it that way.

Convince the individual voter, and you may win.

I'm Jay Lewis and I ENDORSED this message.

Jan. 27, 2012 - Friday Funny - Mute Newt

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY comes from a former Newt Gingrich supporter.

I tend to agree with my friend. I like some of Newt's ideas, but I don't like the messenger.



Bottom line, Newt is NOT electable.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Jan. 24, 2012 - PPM - State of the (dis)-Union

This week PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is about the State of the Union Address.

"Tonight's State of the Union was full of the same empty rhetoric the American people have come to expect from this President."

That was Senator Barrack Obama in on January 28, 2008 in response to then President Bush's State of the Union address.

After listening to PRESIDENT Obama's speech, I'm struck by his empty rhetoric, especially again, with the Class Warfare.

Obama should have used PowerPoint and put up the below slide.

This is the REAL record. Not the fiction nor revisionist history that he offered.

When did the State of the Union become a campaign stump speech?

It was established and designed to provide Congress with an actual update on what was going on in the Executive Branch of the government. Some Presidents would actually just send a letter.

I bet everyone misses those days.

Jan. 20, 2012 - Friday Funny - No Butts About It

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY came from a Jabberwocker in Virginia.

My friend was tired of the edicts coming from the She Wing of the White House about diets and exercise.

Every First Lady should pick a cause like Nancy Reagan with drugs or Laura Bush with literacy. However, Michelle Obama may have had an "out of body" experience when she picked childhood obesity.

Jan. 16, 2012 – PPM -Taxing My Patience

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) concerns tax returns. Everyone (read- media) is up in arms because Mitt Romney has not released his tax returns.

When I grew up, I was told you never asked about three things:

1 - Who you voted for
2 - A woman's age
3 - What someone made

After Bill Clinton, a 4^th, "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" was added, but that has since been rescinded. Congrats to Obama on keeping that all important campaign pledge.

Now it has become common place to discuss a candidate's taxes. We all know what sports and entertainment people are paid. WHY is this important? Is it ENVY?

I don't care if a third baseman makes $25M or $400K. Get the runner in from third with less than 2 out and don't scratch yourself on National TV.

The big difference between gross salary and the information on a tax return is the tax rate and the net income. Nobody pays the same tax rate because of the obscene complexity of the tax code. There are tax deductions for just about everything. There are loss carry forwards for years on end. There is active and passive income, capital gains, and depreciation. God, I love depreciation.

I have a degree in accounting and a MBA in Finance, but I wouldn't dare file my taxes without the guidance and signature of a CPA. I was audited several years ago. I countered with a 286 page response in a binder with 13 exhibits. The IRS saw my response and said, "We're good."

It is irrelevant what ANY politician made or paid in taxes (unless it was ILLEGAL - see Clinton, Whitewater). Bottom line (pun intended) - I don't need to know.

Will we feel better knowing Mitt Romney made $25M? Can he play third base?

I'd rather have a President that made $25M as a Venture Capitalist than one who made $25K as a Community Organizer.

I want a LEADER, not a READER. Just saying.

Jan. 13, 2012 - Friday Funny - Pull Up Your Pants

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY is about a current fashion trend.

I'm thinking about printing up cards with the below picture and handing them out at the local mall. However, I may wait until mall security includes metal detectors.

Jan. 9, 2012 - PPM - Bainfull Discharge of Envy

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) concerns the topic that has dominated the news and political ads this week: Mitt Romney's tenure at Bain Capital

Since when did capitalism or turning a profit become a negative?

Mitt Romney is under attack from the left, the right, and anyone wanting to be President, because of his management actions while running Bain Capital.

His task, was to maximize earnings and the return on stockholders equity. Yes, he bought distressed and undervalued companies. Yes, he may have broken up the companies, laid off people, and sold assets. But, he served a purpose. Would it have been better that a company go Chapter 11, or worse, Chapter 7?

Bain, and Romney by default, made lemonade out of lemons. Think of it as a doctor that keeps a terminal patient alive in order to harvest the organs that might save or extend 6 other lives.

I worked for a company that used to cap salespeople earnings at $150,000 a year. Quotas were the same for every salesperson each year. All of the best salesmen would "max-out" in March. With no incentive to record additional sales, they would spend the next 9 months holding orders, golfing, or vacationing until the next year.

Finally, the executives of the company lifted the earnings cap and decided to assign personal quotas based on prior performance. Sales, earnings, stockholder return, and, yes, salesman compensation soared.

Why cap potential or demonize success?

At what point does capitalism become obscene? At what point should it be "Capped"?

I want a President or CEO that is focused on the "Big Picture" and results. There should be nothing wrong with being the best.

To admonish or penalize Romney for being a business success only adds credence to the class warfare rhetoric that Obama has offered since his coronation.

Is it the taint of greed or just plain ENVY?

Well done, Mr. President. May we all be adequate, average, and unmotivated.

Jan. 6, 2012 - Friday Funny - NYT Correction

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY comes from the New York Times.

Apparently the "Futtershy" lobby did not appreciate the mis-characterization.

Jan. 5, 2012 - Happy New Year

As we enter into 2012, possibly the last year of our existence, there are so many things going on in the world.

The speed of information and automation has made blogging (as I intended) almost an arcane media. Now, all thoughts must be limited to 140 characters via Twitter.

Spelling, grammar, and a complex thoughts are secondary.

This will be my seventh year of blogging. If nothing else, it will allow my children a "journal" and timeline of my feelings, my beliefs, and my personal stands on the current events of the day.

They always ask, "Daddy, why don't you run for political office?" I always respond, it's all there in the Blog.

For those wishing a condensed view of my thoughts, you can follow me on Twitter, @RevJJLewis.

Dec. 30, 2011 - Friday Funny - Too True XMAS

Now that all of my children have laptops, iPads, or smart phones, this is too true.




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Dec. 26, 2011- PPM – It’s Not a Tax Cut

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is the "EXTENDED TAX CUTS" that was just passed by Congress and signed by President Obama.

It extends for TWO MONTHS last year's tax cut extension deal made last December during the lame duck Congress included a new one-year FICA reduction of employee Social Security contributions from 6.2% percent to 4.2%. Employers still pay their 6.2% share.

In that deal, employees saw a 2% increase in their take home pay this year, just like getting a raise, up to a maximum of $2,136 for those making $106,800 or more. The average worker saw an increase in take-home pay of about $1,000 or $20 per week.

FICA stands for Federal Insurance Contributions Act. It came about as part of the creation of Social Security back in 1935. That deduction was designed to be put in the Social Security Trust Fund.

FICA really isn't a tax in the traditional sense of the word.

A payroll deduction into a 401k plan, for example, is not a tax. It's a personal contribution you make into a savings plan for your future retirement. So is FICA. It's not only a contribution to a savings plan for your future retirement but also helps pay for future medical needs after you retire.

So again, the government and Obama have tried to buy CURRENT votes by robbing our FUTURE.

It is NOT a tax cut, but a lower payment into your retirement.

But the real PEEVE is that the politicians could only agree on a TWO MONTH extension. Just like the DEBT CEILING debacle last summer, NO LONG TERM SOLUTION, just kick the old battered can a bit further down the road.

COWARDS.

Dec. 19, 2011 - PPM - Self Portraits?

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is the unbelievable fascination people seem to have with themselves.

They love to take pictures of themselves while posing and preening in front of the bathroom mirror. They then post these pictures to Facebook and Twitter. Some of the technology-challenged individuals can't figure out how to rotate the camera or picture 90 degrees.

Nothing says desperate or narcissistic more than a self-portrait, IN A BATHROOM FROM A CELL PHONE CAMERA.

Phone a friend, buy a tripod, go to the Walmart Portrait Studio, but stop this offensive insanity.

Dec. 9, 2011 - Friday Funny - Perfect Candidate Wanted

I saw this ad and it not only struck me as funny, but exceptionally accurate.

Is ANYONE up to the electability standards based on the media? Every 2-4 weeks we are provided a new "front runner" only to have him/her get thoroughly disqualified by that same media. It's a bizarre game of Survivor.

And don't get me started on the upcoming Primary season. I was upset about it 4 years ago., and it has only gotten worse.

Dec. 7, 2011 – Loser HOF – Alec Baldwin

Alec Baldwin is at it again. Yesterday he was booted from an American Airlines flight.

The airline claims that Baldwin refused to turn off his cell phone when asked to do so at the appropriate time. Baldwin claims he was simply playing Words With Friends.

"The passenger ultimately stood up (with the seat belt light still on for departure) and took his phone into the plane's lavatory," an airline statement reads. "He slammed the lavatory door so hard, the cockpit crew heard it and became alarmed, even with the cockpit door closed and locked. They immediately contacted the cabin crew to check on the situation. The passenger was extremely rude to the crew, calling them inappropriate names and using offensive language."

Baldwin also tweeted about the girth of some of the flight attendants. If anyone knows about weight problems, first hand, it's Baldwin.

I had first declared Alec Baldwin, my LOSER OF THE WEEK in 2007.

Now he is a repeat offender which makes him my first entry into the LOSER HALL OF FAME (HOF).

Nov. 25, 2011 - Friday Funny - Babysitter Wanted

This week's Friday Funny is a commentary on how we select baby sitters and child care providers. Sometimes, we should probably ask for references.

Nov. 18, 2011 - Friday Funny - Keith Richards

This picture and caption speaks for itself.

Nov. 14, 2011 - PPM - Cain is NOT Able

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is about the media treatment of Herman Cain.

Several women now claim Herman Cain exposed himself, fondled them, made inappropriate remarks, and raped them ... oh, sorry, that's Bill Clinton.

Actually, there have been 4 separate harassment claims, but only 2 that were not anonymous. I'm troubled if they are true, but it hardly discredits someone from running for office.

I would think more people would focus on the top line of Cain's resume. Cain was CEO of the #10 US Pizza Chain, Godfather's. Why aren't the CEOs of #6 Cici's and #8 Chuck E. Cheese running?

We better be careful or we might elect someone whose biggest accomplishments were they were a good teleprompter reader and had been a mediocre community organizer.

My PEEVE is that the media is focused on Herman Cain's sexual harassment. Let's look at his competency.

Just saying.

Nov. 11, 2011 - Friday Funny - Thou Shall Not Text

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY comes from a Jabberwocker in California. She has 3 daughters of driving age.

Nov. 4. 2011 - Friday Funny - Brew Crew

This week's Friday Funny comes from Wisconsin.

They were impressed with the Ohio State tailgating in Columbus last week for the Wisconsin vs. OSU Football game.

They wanted to share how they do it in Milwaukee for baseball games.



NICE!!!

Nov. 3, 2011 - Loser of the Week - Rick Pitino

This week's LOSER OF THE WEEK is University of Louisville Basketball Coach Rick Pitino.

Rick Pitino must have a short memory, because when asked about Syracuse and Pitt leaving the Big East, he hit us with a quote we won’t ever let him live down:

“My problem is not them leaving,” he said. “My problem is you did it in 48 hours. Don’t run away with a girl after one date when you’ve been dating someone else for three or four years. You’ve been dating this woman for 30 years, show a little respect.”

Ummmm…

Hey, Rick, do you not remember that night at Porcini’s?

Rick, you met a strange woman at a restaurant and decided to have sex with her IN the restaurant. To be fair, you did not run away with a girl after one date. You also had ONLY been married for 27 years NOT 30. Very Respectful.

And now you’re accusing Pitt and Syracuse of doing the same by leaving the Big East?

You couldn't come up with a better analogy? Marriage Fidelity is the ONE topic that is off limits to you.

It's like Anita Bryant hosting the Rainbow Coalition. It would be a hunting expedition with Bob Barker. It would be attending a "Resume Writing" seminar by the Occupy Wall Street hooligans.

Get the point.

Rick Pitino, you are a LOSER.

Oct. 24, 2011 - PPM - Political Hypocrites

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) was submitted by Jabberwocker, Kentucky Kim.

I agree with the below quote: THEN and NOW

The only problem is that the politician who originally made the statement, must suffer from short term memory loss. An affliction that is too prevalent in Washington and should be "terminal." At least, to their political careers.

"The fact that we are here today to debate raising America 's debt limit is a sign of leadership failure. It is a sign that the US Government cannot pay its own bills. It is a sign that we now depend on ongoing financial assistance from foreign countries to finance our Government's reckless fiscal policies. Increasing America 's debt weakens us domestically and internationally. Leadership means that, "the buck stops here.' Instead, Washington is shifting the burden of bad choices today onto the backs of our children and grandchildren. America has a debt problem and a failure of leadership. Americans deserve better."

~ Senator Barack H. Obama, March 2006



We can always, HOPE for CHANGE in 2012!!!

Oct. 14, 2011 - Friday Funny - Nuns with Guns

I spent my first 12 years of formal education under the tutelage of Nuns.

I remember the wooden rulers on the knuckles, the paddle on the behind. I was even "dry shaved" by the Principal as a HS Junior one day when I decided a mustache might be cool.

However, in all those years, I never thought a Nun may be packing heat. if they had, I would have thought they would have been more handgun enthusiasts. I guess their habits could have hidden a rifle if needed.

Who knew?



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Oct. 11, 2011 - PPM - Occupy Cincinnati - Got Reason?

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM ) concerns the Occupy Wall Street protests. Last week, I had a PPM about the cause(?) because they had no identified complaint. Now, we know that they are against anyone who has more money than them.

The mentality that the 1% of the wealthiest Americans is to blame for our current economic mess is absurd.

The Gini coefficient is a measure of statistical dispersion developed by the Italian statistician Corrado Gini It is a measure of the inequality of a distribution, a value of 0 expressing total equality and a value of 1 maximal inequality.

The Global number is .804 while the US is .801 which means there is more “inequality” globally then exists in the US. Maybe the demonstrations should be moved the U.N.

If you want to experience “fairer” wealth distribution than the US offers, I would suggest the protestors try Yemen (.613), Ethiopia (.652) or Iran (.707). However, I would suggest calling ahead and checking on their specific Immigration Policies. They appear to be more rigid then those in the US.

The “Class Warfare” rhetoric that is emanating from Washington and some elected leaders(?) is shameful. Since when is success a crime?

This picture illustrates the irony of the situation. How can you proclaim your disdain for something that you use an everyday?




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Oct. 7, 2011 - Friday Funny - Death Notice

I love this obituary notice. I never knew Mr. Unsworth, but I believe he was a good (and funny) man.




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Oct. 7, 2011 - PPM - Get a Job

This week's Pet Peeve Monday (PPM) is about the level of mob mentality growing in our country. It started in New York City on Wall Street and is now spreading to other cities.

“Occupy Cincinnati” will hold its first “occupation” starting at 11 a.m. on Saturday, October 8. Really? You can’t get up and organized earlier than 11 a.m.? From their web site, it says that the local group isn’t offering demands or solutions.

So everyone is supposed to show up for no real reason. At least “Flash Mobs” have music and they provide the entertainment.

The mentality that the 1% of the wealthiest Americans is to blame for our current economic mess is absurd. The “Class Warfare” rhetoric that is emanating from Washington and some elected leaders(?) is shameful. Since when is success a crime?

There was great irony this week at the Occupy Wall Street event. They decided to pay tribute and acknowledge Steve Jobs’ death. But wasn’t Jobs the poster child FOR capitalism, materialism, and corporate wealth. Apple is currently number 2 in market capitalization behind Exxon Mobil. Jobs had a personal net worth of over $8 Billion. Let’s never let facts get in the way of a large, unorganized movement, especially if TV cameras are around.

The Tea Party is vilified for wanting to KEEP what they earn, while the Occupiers are praised for wanting to TAKE what others earn.

The amusing fact is that with these “Entitlement Generation” protestors, no one has missed a day of work.
Get a job, pay some taxes, and then MAYBE you are "entitled" to have a rally and be upset.

Steve Jobs said, "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life."

Jobs was born out of wedlock, put up for adoption, dropped out of college, and THEN changed the world. What's your excuse?



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Sept. 30, 2011 - Friday Funny - Sign at Golf Club

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY comes from Jabberwocker, Casey.

Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland, UK:

1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.
2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.
3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING.
5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.
6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.
7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU.
8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
9. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.
10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.

WELL DONE.. NOW,


FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF




This is where I golfed this weekend. No photos of the urinal were taken.

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Sept. 26, 2011 - PPM - Facekooks

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is about Facebook.

Everyone is complaining and moaning about the changes made to Facebook. "It's different."... "I don't like it." ... "Whaaaaaahhh!!!"

This just in, Facebook will change its privacy settings to allow Mark Zuckerberg to come into your house while you sleep and eat your brains with a grapefruit spoon. To stop this from happening go to Account> Home Invasion Settings> Cannibalism> Brains, and uncheck the “Tasty” box. Please copy and re-post. It will save lives.

Please stop complaining about changes to Facebook - IT'S FREE!!!

It's the same price you pay for the nice sunny day, the spring wind blowing through an open window, or the that bright, clear full moon on an Autumn eve. Absolutely nothing. (I should probably offer my prose to Hallmark.)

People, have you lost all perspective about what is important in life? Get real, in fact, GET A LIFE!!!



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Sept. 23, 2011 - Friday Funny - Teenagers

This was sent to me by a friend who knows I will be going through my 2nd Teenager Experience soon.




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Sept. 22, 2011 - Loser of the Week - Cincinnati Veterans

This week's LOSER OF THE WEEK is the US Veterans in Cincinnati.

Obama had advocated targeted employment programs for our Iraq and Afghanistan military veterans. Cincinnati had started a program and had selected, many months in advance, to hold a "Jobs Fair" today at Paul Brown Stadium.

However, last week, Obama decided to use Cincinnati's Brent Spence Bridge as a back drop for a political rally. Because of this grandstanding, the Jobs Fair had to be cancelled by the Secret Service for security reasons.

Many ironies are easy to detect:

It's not a "Jobs' Speech" but a Tax Speech. The $450B is paid for by new taxes. It is not funded through normal government funds. It only "creates" jobs through wealth redistribution.

Highway officials say the Brent Spence bridge replacement plans are not ready and they don't plan to hire workers till 2015 or later - so Obama jobs bill doesn't apply. The $450B does not address this bridge. This bridge has been classified as "functionally obsolete." Which means it was not designed to handle the current capacity without traffic delays. But, it will not fall down!!! Using this logic, all of Los Angeles should be repaved and widened.

It's like living with a 3G Iphone instead of upgrading to the latest model.

Obama has said nothing to address the bridge from Louisville to Indiana that is now closed because it has structural cracks. This bridge closure is DIRECTLY affecting commerce and economics. Why not go there for a rally? I guess Indiana and Kentucky are not "Swing States."

Is it Irony or Poetic Justice that Obama's politics just got in the way of a "Community-based" jobs program.

You tell me.



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Sept. 19, 2011 - PPM - Bark in the Park

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is about a new trend, "Bark in the Park."

It's where Major League Baseball teams allow fans to bring their dogs to the baseball game.

It brings to mind three questions for me:

How did this start?
Why?
And, what can I do to STOP it?

I like dogs, I have one. But I have no desire to take my dog to a baseball game. I believe it started with the Montreal Expos. They had really poor attendance and needed a draw. Viola - le chien ? (That's almost all I remember from my high school French class.)

Why limit it to dogs? Why not snakes at Arizona Diamondback games? Pet fish at Florida Marlin games? Horses, albeit clydesdales, at Cardinal games.

I've never been a fan of large Parrots or mascots, as well.



Seriously. I don't like it when a neighbor dog marks his spot in my yard. Why would I want that to happen when I'm watching baseball?

It might be interesting to have a "Dog Day" at a Philadelphia Eagle football game. It would give new meaning to a "Sudden Death" game. But let's keep baseball, pet free.

Can we all agree that pets are fine, in their place, in their cage, and away from professional sports stadiums?

Stevie Wonder never had a dog with him at games. Why do normal fans need one?

I believe we should heed the lessons from the Planet of the Apes movies. Let's keep our pets on leases, in cages, and away from public venues. Otherwise, we may rue the day of, ......"The Bark in the Park."


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Sept. 16, 2011 - Friday Funny - Obama Bingo

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY comes from a KY friend.

The President has been criss crossing the country trying to gain support for his "Jobs" bill. However you can play Obama Bingo on ANY of his speeches.

Try it the next time you hear the President speak.

Please follow the rules before watching.

Just print out this page, distribute it to friends, and listen (be sure to read directions at the bottom)





Rules for Bullshit Bingo:
1. Before Barrack Obama's next televised speech, print your "Bullshit Bingo"
2. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.
3. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!"



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Sept. 15, 2011 - Loser of the Week - Brian Kelly

This week's LOSER OF THE WEEK is Notre Dame Football Coach Brian Kelly.

No, he is not a loser because he lost his first two games this year, even though ND was a pre-season top 20 pick.

No, he is not a loser for the way he left the University of Cincinnati, even though he repeatedly denied that he would.

No, he is not a loser for dropping the F-Bomb more than 20 times in less than 5 minutes while discussing football performance with one of his players while he is the Head Coach for the largest CATHOLIC University.



Brian Kelly is a LOSER for his decision to chastise The Ohio State University for it's decision to play Toledo. Really?

Kelly decided to go this route in a conference call with reporters this week. He didn't want to talk about how his team can't play a whole game or has turned over the ball 10 times in 2 weeks. He wanted to bring attention to the fact that OSU played Toledo.

Kelly: Here's my revelation for you. Toledo will finish with a better record than Notre Dame and go to a better bowl game this year.

The only winner with your hiring at ND was the Dunkin Donuts franchise in South Bend.


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Sept. 12, 2011 - PPM - No-Bama, No Jobs Bill

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is Obama's new $450 BILLION "Jobs" Bill.

It is NOT a Jobs Bill. It is nothing but a repackaging and resubmission of previous Obama legislation that was previously rejected. More failed stimulus and more class warfare.

What makes this one different is the transparency that it is paid for with "Offsets”

However, when you read the bill, it is clear that there are no sources to pay for the bill. It kicks the responsibility to the new "Super-committee."

This same committee is already tasked with finding $1.5 TRILLION in cuts based on the Debt Ceiling deal from August. This makes the new goal of $1.95 trillion, in order to “pay for” the new spending. In reality, they won't ever agree on the original goal.

Obama has launched into a campaign-like, cross country trip to gain support for his Jobs Bill. The only problem is that even his own party is rejecting the proposal.

I may not have all of the answers to how to create the 2 Million jobs that have been lost since the Obama coronation. But I do know, more of the same failed policies and desire for "wealth redistribution" will not get it done.



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Sept. 2, 2011 - Friday Funny - Bucket List

This week's FRDIAY FUNNY is an article in the paper.




If picking a fight with 4 Marines is on your Bucket List, I would suggest you put it near the bottom. You may not be able to complete any activities that follow it.


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Aug. 26, 2011 - Friday Funny - Hope, Change - WHAT?

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY is a picture of the First Couple on vacation.




Apparently, even Michelle Obama is tired of Barrack's non-stop, empty promises. She decided to listen to her IPOD instead.


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Aug. 26, 2011 - Lessons from Katrina

It appears Hurricane Irene is making some nasty weekend plans. I wanted to remind everyone of what we should have learned from Katrina.

As a disclaimer, I want to state if you lost any family, friends, or furnishing in any catastrophe, I am sorry for your loss. Like most people, I donated belongings and funds after Katrina.

With that said, let’s go over a few basic Hurricane Rules:

#1. A mandatory evacuation means just that... Get The Hell Out!!! Don't blame the Government after they tell you to go and you decide to stay. If they hadn't said anything, I can see the argument.

#2. If there is an emergency, stock up on water and non-perishables. If you didn't do this, it's not the government’s fault you're starving. I live in Ohio and I have enough beans, ravioli, beef jerky, and juice boxes to make it through six weeks. My biggest fear isn’t hurricanes, it’s that the local store may run out of my favorites.

#3. If you run out of food and water, find a store that has some and borrow what you need. DO NOT LOOT!!! Remember, plasma screen TV's, DVD's, CD's, and Nike shoes are not edible. Leave them alone.

#4. If someone comes in to help you, don't shoot at them and then complain no one is helping you. It’s called hazard pay, not combat duty.

#5. My tax money should not pay to rebuild a sports stadium or a floating casino. Also, my tax money shouldn't go to rebuild a city that is under sea level. You wouldn't build your house on quicksand.If you want to live below sea level, join the Navy.

President Kennedy said it best... "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."



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Aug. 19, 2011 - Friday Funny - Sumo Wresting

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY is a YouTube Video.

I was selected to be part of the mid-inning entertainment at a Charleston River Dogs minor league baseball game.



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Aug. 10, 2011 - Loser of the Week - John Kerry

My LOSER OF THE WEEK is John Kerry.

I know, I know, He's been a LOSER for a long-time, but why now?

He was a LOSER in the early 1970's when he spoke out against his "band of brothers" and the war in Vietnam.

He was a LOSER when he sold out and married Heinz for money and financial backing.

He was a LOSER when he lost the election in 2004.

But on Sunday, he became a Hall Of Fame LOSER when he blamed the S&P downgrade of the USA credit rating on the Tea Party.

The Tea Party should be thanked not vilified.

\What would have happened if the Tea Party was not around? How much would the debt limit have been raised had the Democrats controlled the White House, the Senate, AND the House?

One of the three tenets of the Tea Party is FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY. How can you argue AGAINST this concept or a Balanced Budget Amendment?

I love the below analogy from Dave Ramsey. It puts it into perspective.

"If the US Government​ was a family, they would be making $58,000 a year, they spend $75,000 a year, & are $327,000 in credit card debt. They are currently proposing BIG spending cuts to reduce their spending to $72,000 a year. These are the actual proportion​s of the federal budget & debt, reduced to a level that we can understand​."



One of these individuals wears make-up and constantly makes funny, outlandish remarks. The other is a CLOWN.




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Aug. 8, 2011 - PPM - Johnny Needs 36 Pencils

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is School Supplies.

I'm on my 4th child. When I started this adventure it was easy: pencils, paper, ruler, and a bag to carry it all.

This year the list contains 17 items for one of my elementary offspring.

Why does a student need 36, #2 pencils? I remember 2 pencils getting me through the whole year. Additionally, a lot of work previously performed with paper/pencil is now done on school computers. With 36 pencils, one could write a lengthly manifesto.

Why does every student need to bring a box of facial tissues? If my kid is sick, he stays home. We are now taught to sneeze and cough into our bent elbow anyway.

Why does every student need to bring Clorox Wipes? If I wanted my child to prepare for a janitorial career, I would not send them to school.

It's not a stretch that we will be asked to supply toilet paper and floor wax in the near future.

Parents must now dole out hundreds of dollars for school supplies, participation fees, field trips, etc. These fees are beginning to feel like the "user fees" that airlines and hotels now charge us for bottled water, carry on bags, a blanket, and local phone calls.

I thought that our property tax money was supposed to cover public education.

I don't even want to discuss why 2 students that sit side by side in the same class could pay $25K or $0 in "tuition" at a public school.

In the end, I love my school system and the teachers. Just stop the incidental fees.

Bill me once for everything and be done with it. I don't care about the amount. I want an all-inclusive school system: supplies, field trips, pictures, etc.

The airlines have PEEVED me to a point that I no longer fly. Heaven help my children, if I get PEEVED enough to home school them.



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Aug. 5, 2011 - Friday Funny - The Heartland

This week's Friday Funny comes from "The Heartland."

While driving through the backroads of the country, I ran across these two signs in Glencoe, KY - population 251.








I doubt Mr. Obama will be holding any $35K per plate fundraiser here. The medium "family" income does not reach that level. But last I checked, every vote counts as one.

I believe the networks can call the the state of Kentucky in the 2012 Presidential campaign for Candidate ABO. "ANYONE BUT OBAMA"

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Aug. 1, 2011 - PPM - Congressional Math

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is about the current Debt Crisis.

First off, this is a MANUFACTURED crisis. It didn't need to happen. We knew about the pending debt limit MONTHS AGO. It was also played up by the media with their 7*24 coverage and count down clocks. If the Casey Anthony jury could have just taken a bit longer to contemplate. their decision, there would have been no time for the media to cover this "crisis."

My other PEEVE is that no one has really put the severity of our debt into perspective. It is now $14 TRILLION.

People are defining the notion of a "Balanced Budget Amendment" as a radical Tea Party idea. The notion that you only can have expenses equal to your revenues is what EVERY person, other than our federal government, must live by.

This Congress and President have apparently come to some agreement. The bill that is proposed will do nothing more than to "kick the can down the road."

They propose a $3 Trillion Debt Limit increase with corresponding reductions in spending. Here is the problem. The spending decreases are against proposed budgets that were DEFICIT BUDGETS anyway.

It's like your wife coming home to tell you she saved $100. She bought a $300 dress for $200. Congress' math is that they saved us $100. REAL math says you save $200 by not buying a discretionary item.

Bottom Line. There is no reason why we should NOT have a BALANCE BUDGET AMENDMENT. It is long overdue and should be a no-brainer.

But again brains and Congress should not be used in the same sentence.



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July 30, 2011 - Not SO Friday Funny Cartoon

The below cartoon was sent to me from a Jabberwocker to be used as a possible Friday Funny posting.



If it wasn't so true, it MIGHT be funny.

Why do 50% of the people pay no tax?

Why do 2% of the people pay 50% of all income taxes?

It is far overdue to implement a "FAIR TAX". A straight line consumption tax for anything other than basic food and shelter should be the model.

If something has a negative effect on the welfare of the people, i.e. alcohol, tobacco, ding dongs, then there should be a tax to offset the resulting health care cost for treating the resulting condition of said lifestyle.

Some call the current rhetoric and posturing by our current Commander in Chief, "Class Warfare". I believe historians 50 years from now, will not be so kind in their assessment.


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July 29, 2011 - Friday Funny - English Taughters

I loved this Facebook Post. It reminded so much of some old friends, old teachers, and the overall problem people have with grammar.




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