July 6, 2009 - PPM - Palin's Media Coverage

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is about the media. I know, same target, different subject, different week.

This week the media, when they aren’t covering the Michael Jackson train wreck, are hung up on Alaska Governor Sarah Palin’s resignation.

They are vilifying her for her “Lack of Commitment.” Actually, I commend her. She desires a higher calling or office and decided to go for it.

I blogged about the TRUE “Lack Of Commitment” by candidates last fall. It targeted those candidates that do NOT resign one office when they run for another. Worst yet, are those people that truly “hedge their bets” by running for 2 offices at once.

Did you know Joe Biden won two races last November? He won re-election to his Delaware Senate seat on the same night he won the VP. If he was a real man, he would have resigned his Senate seat the day he was named Obama’s running mate.

Our fearless leader, (when he has a TelePrompter), Barack Obama began his run for Presidency 2 years into his Senate CAREER!!! He didn’t resign. He didn’t do the job he was elected to do.

Kudos to Palin for giving up a job she knew that she wouldn’t be focused on. At least she had the “you know what” to stand up and do the right thing.

Shame on the Media for their continued double standard when it comes to Sarah Palin. I chronicled this travesty last August at her coming out party.

The Media has attacked Palin’s family, her clothes, and her lack of an Ivy League education. It’s too bad the Media can’t focus on the issues. I guess that is a LOSING proposition.

July 3, 2009 - Friday Funny - "Obama Man"

Funny Video from Greg Morton sung to Candy Man music.

June 29, 2009 - PPM - Michael Jackson Media Coverage

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is about the ridiculous 7*24 coverage of the Michael Jackson death.

He was a singer, a good one, and that was it. He didn’t cure the sick, solve world hunger, or save a plane from crashing.

Last Friday, Michael Jackson were the top 4 stories on Yahoo.com. #5 was that North Korea threatened nuclear retaliation.

On the NBC Nightly News, the first 16 minutes were devoted to Jackson. All of the news channels were quoting TMZ as a source.

Fox News was actually interviewing the National Enquirer’s Entertainment Editor. It seems the editor had predicted that Michael Jackson would die within 6 months last February. The 110-year-old woman that gave birth to Alien twins that were covered in that same National Enquirer issue was unavailable for comment.

Here is a sample of the National Enquirer journalism from February of this year. I believe that Patrick Swayze is still alive, although I cannot contest the other cover stories.

The White House also weighed in for the first time, with a spokesman saying President Barack Obama saw Jackson as a spectacular performer and music icon. The House of Representatives observed a moment of silence.

The White House some how couldn’t find their voice about the rigged elections in Iran, but was right on top of the Jackson death.

Let’s get some Perspective – folks!!!

BTW – I also predicted Mr. Jackson’s demise last December, well ahead of the National Enquirer.

I feel bad for Farrah Fawcett. She is getting no mention in the press.

I was once seated on a plane next to Lee Trevino. I remarked to Lee that I really hoped that the plane didn’t go down with him on board. Trevino thanked me and asked me how long I had been his fan. I responded that I really wasn’t a fan of golf or him. I explained that if the plane crashed that he would get all the headlines and I would also just be a passenger on “his” plane crash. Can anyone name the 4th passenger on the last plane ride of Buddy Holly?

What is really sick is the behavior of Joe Jackson, Michael’s Father. It is well documented of the physical and emotional abuse this “parent” levied on Michael.

The abuse continues even in Michael’s death. Joe Jackson is pimping his son’s funeral arraignments in order to maximize the return on his investment.

Michael Jackson’s death was not tragic, but was expected. I guess the media’s infatuation with his death will continue, as long as people will watch.

Thank goodness I have viewing options. I had the foresight to TIVO the Desperate Housewives of Orange County.

June 28, 2009 - Death of a GREAT Salesman

Wow. It just got interesting. My post last week indicated “Celebrities Die in Threes.” Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, and Michael Jackson passed on last week.

Now comes word that Billy Mays, the burly, bearded television pitchman whose boisterous hawking of products such as Orange Glo and OxiClean made him a pop-culture icon, has died. Arthur Miller would need to rewrite his play, if it was about Billy Mays.

Should 2 more celebrities be nervous or was Ed McMahon over rated?

As a former salesman, I always liked Billy Mays. I watched him on the new Conan O’Brien Tonight Show last week and he was engaging and funny.

Mays was only 50 (same as Jackson). It was not immediately clear how Mays died. He said he was hit on the head when an airplane he was on made a rough landing Saturday, and his wife, Deborah Mays, told investigators he didn't feel well before he went to bed about 10 p.m. that night.

My condolences to the Mays family. Billy was truly was one of the good guys.

June 26, 2009 - Friday Funny - Farrah's Wish

This week’s FRIDAY FUNNY is dedicated to Farrah Fawcett. She is the real LOSER this week as no one is talking about her death or courageous fight against cancer.

It’s all about Michael Jackson, but I’ll save the details for next Monday’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM).

Here is a great, current joke courteous of Google.

When Farrah Fawcett got to heaven, and arrived at the pearly gates, she was greeted by St. Peter.

"Wow!" exclaimed the St. Peter. "We really enjoyed your work, especially Charlie's Angels! I still have a poster in my office of you with that red bikini! Go on through"

Farrah is a little taken aback. "Thank you..."

She is greeted by God and he says, "Well, I have a special reward for you. I'm prepared to grant you one wish. Have anything in mind?"

Not one to act selfish and change God’s opinion of her, Farrah thinks for a second and decides upon a wish. "I'd like for all the children of the world to be safe and sound forever."

"Done!" exclaims God. He snaps, and Michael Jackson appears IMMEDIATELY next to Farrah.

And taking second place -What were Michael Jackson’s last words "No, No, take me to the Childrens’ Hospital!"

June 25, 2009 - Derby Dead Pool Update

There was huge news day with the celebrity deaths of Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson.

People always say that “They always Die in Threes." I guess with the death of Ed McMahon earlier this week, Oprah Winfrey and David Letterman can rest easy, ….for now.

For those long time Jabberwockers, I have been a participant for the past three years in the DERBY DEAD POOL.

The Derby Dead Pool is where you list 20 people that you think will die during the calendar year. The winner last year correctly predicted 12 of his 20 celebrity deaths. You get points based on how they die and how old they were at the time of their death

I currently “Captain” 4 teams:

2 Sick Not 2 Quit – personal list , 3rd year, finished 165th last year
1 Dead in Ohio – perossnl list, 3rd year, finished 342nd last year
Say Hi to Uncle George – family list, 1st year
5 Feet and 1 To Go – book club list, 1st year

Until today there had not been a “hit” on any of the 4 lists, an almost unheard of probability.

And then within one hour, two major deaths.

For example, here is the list for the 2 Sick Not 2 Quit submission:

Muhammad Ali
Fidel Castro
Dick Clark
Roger Ebert
Farrah Fawcett
Michael J Fox
Teri Garr
Stephen Hawking
Steve Jobs
Senator Edward Kennedy
Larry King
Jack Klugman
Jerry Lewis
George Michael
Liza Minnelli
Sharon Osbourne
Greg Page
Ron Santo
Ariel Sharon
Mary Tyler Moore

For the record, I’m not sadistic, otherwise I would put more time into research and would have finished higher than 165th last year.

I just have always been a fan of actuarial tables and the abnormal distribution of celebrity deaths indicated that most fall outside of 2 standard deviations from the mean (using a Z distribution of course.)

June 22, 2009- PPM- Real Estate Business Cards

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is Real Estate salespeople’s business cards.

My PEEVE or question is why do they put their picture on their business card?

I make NO apologies for generalizations, but it’s been my experience with real estate agents is that:

Women – usually put a picture at least 10 years earlier. They usually have that 1980’s big hair look. Where a TV adds 10 pounds, business cards must subtract 10-20 pounds.

Men - if they have been in the Real Estate business for a long time, they have a comb over, a hair piece, or a picture that would also be a mug shot for a MSNBC’s “To Catch A Predator” show.

I’ve bought and sold many house over the years. I’ve never selected a Real Estate Agent based on their time-dated, air brushed photo. I’m looking for a competent salesperson, not a rent a date.

I have never bought a large ticket item based on the sales person’s appearance. I may have tipped a bit more at a local diner or pub, but who doesn’t appreciate good service? ;-)

When I was a workingman, I would hope that no sales were won based on my average or above average handsomeness.

BTW – if you need a house in Idaho, call Rock and Roll Realty.

June 19, 2009 - Friday Funny - Government Motors

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY was provided by Jabberwocker Lori.

In a special news conference yesterday, Government Motors announced its new concept car.

The new GM (Government Motors) proudly introduces the 2010 Obama.

This car runs on hot air and broken promises. It has three wheels that speed the vehicle through tight left turns. It comes complete with two Teleprompters programmed to help the occupants talk their way out of any violations.

The transparent canopy reveals the plastic smiles still on the faces of all the "happy" Democrat owners.

June 18, 2009 - Blog Update

You are probably saying, "What's up with the lack of posts?"

My response - "It wasn't me." Blogger sent me a the below message:

"Hello, Your blog at: http://jaysjabberwocky.blogspot.com/ has been identified as a potential spam blog.

Your blog will be deleted in 20 days if it isn't reviewed, and your readers will see a warning page during this time. After we receive your request, we'll review your blog and unlock it within two business days. Once we have reviewed and determined your blog is not spam, the blog will be unlocked and the message in your Blogger dashboard will no longer be displayed.

We find spam by using an automated classifier. Automatic spam detection is inherently fuzzy, and occasionally a blog like yours is flagged incorrectly. We sincerely apologize for this error.
Thank you for your understanding and for your help with our spam-fighting efforts.

Sincerely,
The Blogger Team"

Ironically, this email from BLOGGER looked like SPAM. All is well now and I have been cleared to continue.

Your emails are very important to me and will be answered in the order received. Please stay on the line and a representative will be with you shortly. These emails may be monitored for quality assurance.

Cheers.

JJ

June 5, 2009 - Friday Funny - Ice Cream

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY comes from a Jabberwocker up north.

In Honor of the 44th President of the United States, Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has issued a new flavor, "Baracky Road."

Baracky Road is a blend of half Vanilla, half Chocolate, and surrounded by Nuts and Flakes.

The Vanilla portion of the mix is not openly advertised and usually denied as an ingredient.

The Nuts and Flakes are all very bitter and hard to swallow.

The Cost is $100.00 per scoop.

When purchased, it will be presented to you in a large beautiful cone, but then the Ice Cream is taken away and given to the person in line behind you.

Thus you are left with an empty wallet, no change, holding an empty cone, with no hope of getting any Ice Cream.

Feeling stimulated yet?

May 29, 2009 - Friday Funny - Boys will be Boys

This week's Friday Funny is dedicated to my 2 boys. Here are some interesting things you learn when you have sons:

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.

8.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

9.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

10.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

11.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

12.) VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

13.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

14.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

15.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

16.) The fire department in Cincinnati has a 5-minute response time.

Enjoy the thoughts (and your kids!!!)

May 27, 2009 - WATN - Dom Deluise

This week’s WHERE ARE THEY NOW? WEDNESDAY (WATN) is Dom Deluise.

I know I am late with this one as Dom is also late. That is, Dom died two weeks ago.

Dom was best known for his role with buddy Burt Reynolds in the Cannonball Run movies.

Dom died while I was on my own Cannonball Run. I traveled 2100 miles, thru 9 states in under 60 hours. I chronicled the trip in a previous blog. I learned about Don’s passing during the newsbreak on a All Country, All The Time radio station somewhere in Texas. I think it was called “The Wolf” or “The Coyote” or something catchy.

When I was able to read Dom’s obituary the next day I was stunned. Nowhere in the 932-word article (I was in a truck cab for three days) was there a mention of Dom’s relationship with NCR.

Dom was the pitchman for NCR’s ill-fated foray into the Personal Computer field. I don’t blame Dom for NCR’s failure, although his selection as the front man didn’t help.

In 1984, NCR introduced an 8-Bit CP-M-based Decision Mate V (DMV) personal computer. It had 64K RAM, and supported a 5.25 floppy with 32K bytes of storage and a Winchester hard disk with 10M bytes of formatted storage. The drive alone weighed 30 pounds. It was very powerful at the time. However by today’s standards it would only hold the concert version of “Hotel California.”

The real problem was the Operating System. NCR decide to go with CP-M instead of DOS as its platform. Think Beta vs. VHS. However by adding a weight challenged, widely unknown, out of work comic as the face of your product didn’t help. NCR actually bought Super Bowl ads that year with Dom prancing around spouting the virtues of teh NCR PC. I guess Ricardo Montebaum (rich Corinthian leather) or the Clydesdales weren’t available.

NCR did later release PC’s on the DOS platform, but the damage was done. I use an old DMV to prop open the door to my shed in the summer. The old marketing execs that selected Dom Deluise as NCR’s computer spokesperson are also holding doors open – as Wal-Mart greeters. (Not there is anything wrong with that.)

Dom – may you finally rest in peace. I just hope your entry ticket thru the gates of St. Peter wasn’t processed on the CP-M platform-based computer.

May 25, 2009 - Happy Memorial Day - NO PPM

No PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) on holidays.

Let’s all remember why we celebrate Memorial Day.

Thanks to all for serving our country and who have given the supreme sacrifice.

FREEDOM ISN’T FREE.

May 22, 2009 - Friday Funny - Bear Humor

I always love signs that tell the story or joke by itself.

This sign comes from the Canadian province of British Columbia:




Thank you to Duke, a charter Jabberwocker, for your submission.

May 14, 2009 - Head East Young Man

Well, I made it back from California. With the passing of my Father-In-Law last month I needed to return to Golden State to sell a house and move household belonging back to my Mother-In-Law’s new residence in Ohio.

I kept a visual diary on my I-Phone of points of interest along the way. My brother, a 30-year armed forces veteran, accompanied me on the adventure. We rented a 17 foot U-Haul to move possessions through CA, AZ, NM, TX, OK, AR, TN. KY, and OH. Below is a summary of the trip.

Wednesday, May 6 – We flew Delta Airlines from Cincinnati to LA at the height of the Swine (H1N1) Flu pandemic scare. I decided to wear a surgical mask and to toss in a few coughs and sneezes. There was a reason I was the lead in my High School’s rendition of “The Music Man.” Before long I had an entire row to myself.

Thursday, May 7 – We packed the truck and left LA at 8:30 p.m. We headed east on the 405 to the 605 to the 110 to the 10 to the 40. Amazingly there is still an LA rush hour at 8:30 at night. We deiced to take Interstate 40, which parallels the old Route 66 from LA through to Nashville before taking I-65 to Louisville and taking I-71 into Ohio.

Friday, May 8 - We spent three hours, from 4-7 a.m., at a motel in Needles, CA that rents rooms by the hour. After a Grand Slam breakfast at the local Denny’s, we continued on through Arizona and spent Friday night in Albuquerque, NM. We drove a total of 709 miles the first 24 hours.

We did stop long enough to acquire gas and to get into a traffic jam at the University of Northern Arizona’s commencement exercises in Flagstaff, AZ. As we trekked eastward at an 85 mph clip, I’ll never know if the Eagles were correct when they sang, “Winslow Arizona was such a fine site to see.”

Saturday, May 9 - We took off right after the 6 a.m. revelry. This was my Breakfast of Champions from a NM gas station:

We traversed through New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, and stayed in Little Rock, Arkansas. This segment was 883 miles.

In Texas we saw what was titled the “World’s Largest Cross.” I think Ohio’s Jesus would beg to differ.

According to the movie, “An Officer and a Gentleman” this is what I expected to see in Oklahoma:

I was pleasantly surprised to see rolling hills, green space, and wind turbines.

When we stopped for the night in Little Rock, I decided to tour the Bill Clinton Presidential Library. I took the below snap shot from the library’s restroom.

Sunday, May 10 – We completed the final leg of our trip from Arkansas through Tennessee and Kentucky into Ohio, a total of 626 miles.

We arrived back in Ohio only 69 hours after our departure from LA. The drive was a mix of Smokey and the Bandit and Cannonball Run, with a hint of Death Race 2000 thrown in to keep it interesting.

I wish I could have been taking this trip for other reasons and spent more time enjoying the scenery.

After listening to country music for 2160 miles, (and they say water boarding is torture), I think Lee Greenwood had it right when he said,

“God Bless the USA.”

This is a GREAT country with all of the diversity of people and geography. I met new, interesting people at every rest stop and gas station.

If I understand the new economic policies of Mr. Obama, I should be receiving several stimulus checks in the next 4 years. I plan to use the money to purchase an RV and return to the southwest in search of the World’s Largest Ball of Twine.

May 5, 2009 - May Leave of Absence

I will be taking a May Leave of Absence as a follow-up to my April Leave of Absence.

I’m headed to the Left Coast to close out the estate of a family member. I’ll be transporting the valuables via U-Haul over 2263 miles of American Real Estate from California to Ohio.

I shall chronicle my travels for future Pet Peeves and Friday Funnies.

According to MapQuest, I should traverse the following states:

California
Nevada
Arizona
New Mexico
Texas
Oklahoma
Kansas
Missouri
Illinois
Indiana
Kentucky
Ohio

Along the way, the obvious questions to be answered are:

If what happens in Vegas, actually Stays in Vegas?

If “Cow Tipping” in Oklahoma is the same as in Ohio?

What does Missouri ACTUALLY have to “Show Me”?

If you have your own questions that may require my on-site research, please post your comment.

I’m taking the camera, so stay tuned.

May 1, 2009 - Friday Funny - Who needs a salad?

This week’s FRIDAY FUNNY is what is considered a “Professional Athlete.”

Below is a picture of the Cincinnati Bengals’ first round draft choice, Andre Smith from Alabama.

I know that I’m glad. and the opposing team is probably elated, that they do not play “Shirts or Skins” in Pro Football.

April 29, 2009 - Pandemic Hysteria

This PET PEEVE could not wait till Monday.

This week we are experiencing a pandemic of Herculean proportions. I’m not talking about the Swine Flu. I’m talking about the media’s coverage of the Swine Flu.

Let’s put the Swine Flu into perspective and stop the hyperbole.

Some estimates put the Spanish Flu of 1918-1920 death toll at 100 million. In the modern era, the Hong Kong Flu of 1968-1969 may have claimed one million lives.

While every death is tragic, the 2009 Swine Flu has killed approximately 150 people as of today. The news reports are claiming one US fatality. However that death (again, while heartbreaking) was actually a Mexican National visiting the U.S.

According to the web, on average, 36,000 Americans die from flu-like symptoms each year. Since January 2009, the U.S. Center for Disease Control (CDC) reports that 13,000 Americans have died from the seasonal flu, none from the swine flu.

Yet, Media reports are telling people to stock up on three weeks of living supplies in case of a national quarantine. If this were the bird flu, I would call them “Chicken Littles.”

Some people have stopped eating pork because they think they may catch the Swine Flu. As an overweight nation, we should all hope for an outbreak of the Twinkie Flu. Obviously, this child is not concerned about catching the Swine Flu.

Amazon is offering “A Swine Flu Pandemic First Aid and Safety Kit.” The kit includes Respirator Masks, Safety Goggles, Disposable White Coveralls with elastic hood, wrist, and boot s, High risk Nitryl Gloves, Insta-Clean Hand sanitizer, Antimicrobial hand wipes, Alcohol Prep Wipes, Blue Elasticized Shoe covers, and Blue Elasticized Head Caps.

Ironically, it is the same kit I used when I started changing diapers 10 years ago.

The media is nothing but fear mongering and trying to CREATE the news rather than to report it.

April 27, 2009 - PPM -Sticker Ads

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is ADVERTISEMENTS, more specifically NEWSPAPER STICKER ADS.

It all started with telemarketers’ relentless calls. They always phoned during dinnertime hawking something you didn’t want or need. These nuisances were mostly eliminated by the introduction of the “DO NOT CALL” registry. It was probably the most desired legislation to come out of Washington in the last 10 years.

Next it was the SPAMMERS. They clogged the inboxes of every email account with their messages and offers from IRS help to weight loss programs. They are hawking products from Cialis to Snuggles. I want to email the folks at Cialis and ask them, “What is the deal with the nonfunctional bath tubs on a beach?” but I’m sure it would only add more unwanted messages to my Spam folder.

Thankfully, email providers have come up with Spam Filters and Pop-Up Blockers to reduce unwanted content on your PC.

The latest ADVERTISING GIMMICK is the front-page sticker ads on my newspaper.

Not satisfied with ads on EVERY page of the paper causing single news stories to be started on page A1, continued on page A8 and completed on page A16, these papers now paste a STICKER AD on top of the headline above the fold on page one.

Now readers must carefully excise the irritant, making sure not to rip the copy in the process.

Can’t I just read the news without having to ponder another career choice?

Is someone really going to suddenly realize, “Wow, I can go to night school and become a nurse?”

Do you really want your next hospital stay managed by someone not nimble enough to peel the adhesive off the paper? Their inability to get the sticky label off of the newsprint doesn’t bode well when the remove that Band-Aid or the tape around your IV. Talk about a hair pulling experiences.

OUCH!!!

April 24, 2009 - Friday Funny - Rules To Live By

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY comes from Adrienne in New Hampshire:

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE

1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and w ho likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

April 24, 2009 - Loser of the Week- Mel Kiper

This week’s LOSER OF THE WEEK is Mel Kiper.

Kiper is the ESPN hired hand on pro footballs draft day.

He is a lot like Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog. He comes out once a year, he makes his predictions, and he is usually wrong.

Kiper talks about the potential draft picks as if they stocks or commodities. He denigrates 18-21 year old kids with NO concern that they may be watching his assessment.

It is nice that he has developed a niche market for himself, but he should alter his vitriol comments. Maybe a little more time with Dale Carnegie and a little else time at the Hair Club for Men would be appropriate.

Mel “Groundhog” Kiper, you are my LOSER OF THE WEEK.

April 17, 2009 - Friday Funny - Oops!!!

Things that make you say Oh Crap!!!

April 15, 2009 - Inspiring Video

In case you were really down because it is April 15 - TAX DAY, I found this great, inspirational video on YouTube. It features Susan Boyle, a contestant on Britains Got Talent, the UK version of American Idol.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY&feature=bz303

YouTube has turned off embedding, but you can access by clicking on this link.

I don't watch reality shows, ever. However, this clip is worth viewing.

It's true that everyone should chase their dreams.

April 13, 2009 - PPM - Obama's Dog

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is about President Obama’s Dog Selection.

I’m not peeved that the press is providing 7*24 coverage of A dog. Tragically it’s not about THAT dog that saved Timmy from the well.

My PEEVE is that no one is covering the fact that Barack has again broken another campaign promise.

I guess it was OK that Barack said that no lobbyist would serve in his administration and then he hired over 2-dozen ex-lobbyists.

I guess it was a syntax error when Obama said he wouldn’t raise ANY tax on the middle class, yet he increased the tax on tobacco by almost 200%

I guess it was an oversight that Barack stated that his administration would be the most ethical ever and then he nominated tax cheats and probable felons to key positions. The irony is that these positions are responsible for convicting tax cheats. The fox is never too close to the hen house, I guess.

My PEEVE is that Barack stated that the first dog would be a mutt (like him –his words, not mine) and that the dog would be selected from a shelter.

This week, CNN broke the news that Obama had been presented a specially bred dog from the Royal Kennedy family. Sorry, shelter dogs and mutts, you never had a chance.

Not one news organization visited the local shelters to interview the jilted mutts. It is as if the “Island of Misfit Toys”, err dogs, was flown over by the Grinch of Presidential Pets. (I purposely mixed my Christmas Stories for effect)

The bottom line is that it is not about pets. Obama has shown a continued pattern of saying one thing and doing another.

Most licensed psychologists; Dr. Phil need not apply, would diagnose Obama as a “serial liar.” Additionally, Oprah would probably invite Obama to sit on her couch along side James Frey to compare their notes.

Obama’s campaign promises have gone to the dogs, literally.

For my money, here is my Presidential Dog.

April 13, 2009 - Leave of Absence

Jabberwockers:

I apologize for the lack of posts the last 2 weeks. There was a disturbance in "The Force" as there was a death in the family.

The passing of my Father-In-Law lead to some Pet Peeves as well as some Friday Funnies.

The Pet Peeves will be fully addressed in the coming weeks. Here are the funnies:

When I shared with some, that my 96 year-old old Father-in-Law had died, several people inquired about how he died.

Not one to let a stupid question go unpunished, I replied:

"His chute didn't open."

"He hit a tree while snowboarding."

"He went on pleasure ride with Ted Kennedy."

You get the point.

Ninety-six is a pretty good track record. Sometimes we get old and that's that.

Steven Wright once said that he knows when he is going to die because his birth certificate has an expiration date. There you go.

March 31, 2009 - Year 4 Begins

This week marks the 3-year anniversary of Jay’s Jabberwocky. My first post was on March 28, 2006.

Between then and now there have been 450 posts and countless comments.

In January, I was asked to provide a blog for the local paper. It is called Jay’s Jabberwocky-Lite. It is catered more toward local issues. It has had several comments from non-Jabberwockers that do not have their computer screen set for a sarcasm resolution.

Stay tuned for some new topics in Year 4. I hear that Star Jones is on Oprah today. That is what I call a target rich environment …. for blog material.

March 27, 2009 - Friday Funny - 710 Knob

This week's Friday Funny comes from Mike:

A young blond came in to a local garage and asked for a seven hundred-ten knob.

The service personnel all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten knob?"

She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one." She said she did not know exactly what it was, but the piece had always been there.

The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car?"

She pointed and said, "Of course, its right there." The mechanic, still holding the sketch, turned the drawing upside down.

At last, he knew exactly what the young girl was looking for...

March 25, 2009 - WATN - Greg Brady

A previous subject of a Where Are They Now (WATN) Wednesday was Mike Lookinland, aka, Bobby Brady.

Bobby was located with a blood alcohol of .26 next to an overturned car in Utah. Now that Bobby has been found, I’ve issued an APB on Greg Brady, Barry Williams.

I had previously compared high school pictures of my wife to a bad girl version of Marsha Brady.

Shock and Awe were my emotions when I received the below I-phone photo of one, Greg Brady, and my current wife. She was on a “business trip” to Las Vegas.

It seems Greg, er, Barry is now working the LV strip in a dinner theatre show about someone’s wedding.

I’m hoping Barry and his alter ego Johnny Bravo get a brief starring role in a upcoming CSI episode.

Just kidding.

I'm sure Danny Partridge will settle an old debt at some point.

March 23, 2009 - PPM - Celebrity(?) Reality Shows

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is who is considered a “CELEBRITY” by today’s Reality Shows.

I had previously blogged about Reality TV Shows’ inane existence three years ago.

Now, I read the cast of the latest installments of the Celebrity Apprentice and Dancing with the Stars. I am flummoxed about who is a Celebrity or what defines a Star?

Here is the list:

Celebrity Apprentice

Brian McKnight
Dennis Rodman
Herschel Walker
Clint Black
Tom Green
Jesse G. James
Tionne Watkins
Khole Kardashian
Joan Rivers
Melissa Rivers
Claudia Jordan
Annie Duke
Brande Roderick
Natalie Gulbis
Scott Hamilton
Andrew Dice Clay

2009 Dancing with the Stars

Belinda Carlisle
David Allen Grier
Shawn Johnson
Lil’Kim
Holly Madison
Gilles Marini
Ty Murray
Steve O
Denise Richards
Melissa Rycroft
Lawrence Taylor
Chuck Wicks
Steve Wozniak

- Half of these people don’t generate a Wikipedia entry.

- Some of them (Kardashian) are more than six degrees removed from Kevin Bacon.

- These same folks could also appear on The Biggest Loser.

(my cut downs usually come in sets of threes)

I don’t watch any reality shows, but I would tune in if they would put this cast of characters along with the show’s producers into the Celebrity Stars’ Cage of Death. Only one contestant would survive, literally. My money’s on Steve O, unless there is an Ice Dancing elimination round, where Scott Hamilton could really shine.

Just a thought.

PPM- March 17, 2009 - St. Patrick's Day

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) was delayed a day to Tuesday in order to include the “celebration” of St. Patrick’s Day.

My PET PEEVE is that on March 17th EVERYONE pretends they are Irish. They drink and they drink and they drink. Where are the Political Correct Police to profess their anger about this obvious offensive, derogatory, slander to the Irish?

Am I (and a lot of feminists) the only one offended by this T-shirt? ;-)

Don’t say O’Jay to me.

I used to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day till I found out it was against the school dress code to color your kids' hair green.

You wouldn’t have to look hard for the Reverend Al Sharpton if we starting performing or celebrating African American stereotypes on Martin Luther King Day. Remember the outrage when Arizona DIDN'T celebrate MLK Day?

Why is one ethnic stereotype funny yet other cultural references will get you convicted of a hate crime?

When I lived in Southern California, everyone celebrated Cinco de Mayo regardless of their heritage. I always begged off, because I was not of Mexican decent. With the influx of illegal aliens and the accelerated growth of the Hispanic community as a whole, the once white majority is now the minority.

I consider myself more French than anything else. Why? Because I had three years of High School French. Every July 14th. I celebrate Bastille Day. I don’t shower. I eat a lot cheese, drink expensive wine, and generally am dismissive of everyone.

Others may argue that I do these activities more often than once a year.

But back to my PEEVE. Why is OK to denigrate one heritage if another ethnicity is off limits?

Je suis confus.

March 13, 2009 - Friday Funny - Dog for Sale

Dog For Sale

Free to good home. Excellent guard dog. Owner cannot afford to feed him anymore, as there are no more drug pushers, thieves, murderers, or molesters left in the neighborhood for him to eat.

Most of them knew him as 'Holy SH#& (crap)!!!'

March 12, 2009 - Not a Rocket Scientist - YET

There was a front-page story in today’s CINCINNATI ENQUIRER about a six-year-old Einstein.

I’m happy to see some positive news on page 1. The youth has been tested to an IQ of 176. The paper mentions a chief accomplishment of this young lad is that he was able to recite the Presidents in order at age six.

I have personal knowledge and video evidence of another Cincinnati child accomplishing this same task at age 5.

Any one can memorize the order of the Presidents. But try to name Presidents in random order while dressed as a Super Hero.

This is an entertaining video of a five year old, dressed as Spiderman, being grilled in rapid fire about the Presidents.

Enjoy.

March 10 - Loser of the Week - McNuggets McGone

This week’s LOSER OF THE WEEK is Latressa Goodman (her name did not pass spell check).

Latressa, 27, a Florida resident, gained international notoriety last week when she called 9-1-1, three times, after the local McDonalds ran out of Chicken McNuggets.

One could look at Latressa and determine that a void in McNugget production could be divine intervention. The lack of McNuggets meant that she should NOT eat McNuggets. It wasn’t an emergency.

The “L” on Latressa’s forehead is not for “Latressa”.

When I heard this story, I had to Grimace.

Ironically, I was faced with my own disgruntled McDonald’s customer. In 1979, while running the grill operations for the local McDonald’s in Zanesville, Ohio, a customer asked for “extra pickles” on his cheeseburger. Always one to take customer satisfaction personally, I added 44 pickles on top of the meat and under the cheese. (I didn’t want any of the pickles to fall off.)

Apparently stunned by his taste buds, the customer went into “Pickle Rage” and hopped over the counter and threw the special cheeseburger at my grill team. It didn’t take a call to 9-1-1 to subdue his rage, just a well-thrown frozen quarter pounder patty, or two.

The moral of the story is that dissatisfied McDonald’s customers should not take matters into their own hands, nor should they call 9-1-1. They should just take a deep breath, pick up the shattered pieces of their lives, and go on down the road to Wendy’s.

Here is a picture of that model McDonald’s employee from 1979.

March 9, 2009 - PPM - Ra-PUN-zel's Revenge

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) has bothered me for a while.

It seems there’s nothing quite like the prospect of naming a hairdressing salon to bring out the "punner" in a person. Here are some of the worst I found on the web and in the local strip mall.

A Little Off The Top
Bangs For The Memories
Bushwackers
Clipping Penalty
Cliptomania
Clips-n-Tips
Combing Attractions
Curl up and Dye
Cut & Blow Flo's
Cuts & Bruises
Dexa-Trims
Dude I'm So Buzzed
Dyeing to be Seen
Flying Scissors
Gee Eyed Janes Flat Tops
George Hair-ison's Solo Career
Hair and Beyond
Hair Apparent
Hair Commandants
Hair It Be
Hairway to Heaven
Hannah and Her Scissors
HeadWays
Los Angeles Clippers
Mane and Central
Mane Event
Mane-lining Hair-oin
No Conditioner To Drive
Pecker Head Cuts
Razor Maids
Roller Blades
Samson and Delilah's
She Cut Me
Shear Hostility
The Final Cut
The Hair After
The Mane Reason My Parole Was Revoked
The Viet-Mane War Memorial
Why Won't You Dye?

Sure they’re funny as you drive past, but what if you had to work at one of these places?

You don’t see medical offices, dental offices, or regular businesses using puns in their names.

Why do hair stylists have a monotony, er monopoly on puns?

March 6, 2009 - Friday Funny - New Logos

This week's Friday Funny was submitted by a friend of 25 years, Duke, that was named after his family's dog.

Duke is a long time corporate survivor.

Here are some new CORPORATE LOGOS.

March 2, 2009 - PPM - Garbage Policies

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is the upside down policies of my local garbage collector.

Monday’s Cincinnati Enquirer had an article titled; Rumpke Revenues Fall With Less Trash.

The company has been negatively impacted by falling commodity rates for recycled materials.

When I reviewed my quarterly Rumpke bill last week, I noted the following:

- 14% of my bill was for “Recycled Services”
- 6 % of my bill was for a “Fuel Surcharge”

I don’t know what bothers me more, a company that charges me a fee to “Be Green” and then makes a profit off of it or a company that mysteriously adds a fuel surcharge when gasoline prices have dropped by 50%.

I actually would save money if I DIDN’T recycle. I might feel guilty, so I could still save my recyclables and take them to a facility myself. I would get the cash directly. I don’t mind the trashman making a profit, but aren’t you “TRIPLE DIPPING” here.

1. You charge me to collect my recyclables
2. You earn money on my recyclables and don’t share the profits
3. You over bill me on the gas on your way to over bill me to pickup my recyclables.

When I contacted Rumpke about the fuel surcharge they replied via email,

“The fuel surcharge that we charge our customers is a fraction of what it costs to operate the trucks; instead of hiding these costs in the bulk of the bill, they are explicitly outlined for the convenience of our customers.”

I feel much better now.

Reform your policies or this could be me!!!

February 27, 2009 - Friday Funny - Jet Skis

We just got back from a trip to Orlando and we had coupons for Jet Ski rentals.

Sometimes, letting coupons expire is the smart move.

Sort of gives new meaning to the terms low rider, high tide, and full moon!

February 23, 2009 - PPM -Digital TV Transition

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is the Digital TV Transition.

The transition was planned in 1996 to free up bandwidth space. Media reports (paper, TV, radio) have been announcing the conversion for over 2 years.

It was due to happen last week, but it was delayed for another 4 months upon request of President Obama. It has already cost the government $1.34 BILLION. I have a few questions.

Why was it delayed?
Why is it Government financed?
Did we provide AM to FM radio conversion kits?
Did we provide B&W to Color TV conversion kits?
Why has the Government offered TWO $40 coupons per house?

If you can afford 2 TVs, maybe you should sell one and get cable. Ironically, people can download the $40 coupons. Again, if you have Internet access, converting to Digital TV should be an easy choice. Actually if you Cable Internet, a TV tuner on your PC is less than the $40 coupon.

I’m still waiting on my Betamax to VHS, to DVD, to Blue Ray conversion kits. Why does the Government choose to subsidize some technology transfers and not others?

The Government says there are still 6.5 Million people that have not converted. How do they know? They can’t do an accurate census. We don’t know how many illegal aliens are in the U.S. Hell, they just misplaced $350 Billion in TARP funds.

I have NO CONFIDENCE in the US Government’s math, projections, or estimates.

In Cincinnati, Channel 64 completed the analog to digital conversion on the original transition date last week. They supposedly received over 1000 complaints from technology-challenged viewers. I doubt that Channel 64 has over 1000 regular viewers. The complaint numbers were trumped up by the local media to draw attention.

The Saturday program guide for Channel 64 last Saturday was:

9:00 a.m. - Paid Program
9:30 a.m. - Paid Program
10:00 a.m. - Paid Program
10:30 a.m. - Paid Program
11:00 a.m. - Auto Shopper
11:30 a.m. - Paid Program
12:00 p.m. - Fresh Prince

Really. (Sarcasm font)

I think we are providing a great service to these folks by blacking out the infomercials and Will Smith. They can buy new TVs instead of spending money on infomercial Snuggles, transformer ladders, and weight loss miracle devices.

February 20, 2009 - Friday Funny - Global Warming

This week’s FRIDAY FUNNY was submitted by Jabberwocker, Kim.

This is the audience at Al Gore’s latest speech on Global Warming.

February 18, 2009 - Climb The Carew

This is my third year as a Team Captain in the Climb The Carew.

The Climb the Carew is a 45-floor stair climb at the Carew Tower in downtown Cincinnati. It is a fundraiser for the American Lung Association.

The American Lung Association is attempting to eradicate lung diseases such as asthma, lung cancer, Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD, emphysema and chronic bronchitis), cystic fibrosis and many others. The proceeds from Climb the Carew will fund research for better treatments, education to reduce the impact of respiratory illness and support for people with lung disease and their loved ones.

I have been in the top ten fundraisers for the past three years.

Thanks to all of you that have donated this year. If you would like to still contribute, please click on this link.

Here is a picture of last year’s team of misfits and unfits.

I’ll post this year’s “Climb” results next week.

February 16, 2009 - PPM - Cabinet Tax Cheats

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is about the continued tax problems of President Obama’s cabinet nominees.

The list of cabinet appointees with tax problems keeps getting longer. The Labor Secretary nominee was put on hold the day I left for vacation.

Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner who is in charge of the IRS forgets to pay his taxes. Supposedly he is the only person to get us out of this economic malaise, yet he was a key player in the TARP funds last fall. How is that working out?

Putting a tax dodger in charge of the IRS is like appointing Dr. Jack Kevorkian as the Surgeon General.

Health and Human Services appointee Tom Daschle forgot to pay $128,000 in taxes. Forgot? $128,000? Sometimes I forget and find a five spot in my pants on laundry day. I would need to do it over 25,000 times or every Saturday for the next 512 years to accumulate $128,000.

Obama calls them “unintentional mistakes.” Most people call it criminal.

The person designated to be the Chief Performing Officer, the person to make sure “All Works Well in the Government” can’t pay her taxes either.

Obama came out with a big media blitz, in his first act as President saying lobbyists would not be allowed in his administration. He then granted waivers to 2 dozen appointees because they were the “Best of the Best”.

Hey Barack here is some advice. Lower your standards. Your “Best of the Best” can’t get confirmed. And by the way, maybe they aren’t the brightest because they can’t master Turbo Tax or Excel.

If these are the “Best of the Best”, what does that say about the rest of us tax paying, law abiding citizens?

Change. Did we get it? You bet.

We went from an ineffective administration to an incompetent administration.

The new President’s continued missteps have dulled the luster from the Obama commemorative plates, coins and figurines.

Tax evasion, as a Government employee, should be handled like theft or embezzlement in the private sector. These people should be fired, fined, and jailed immediately!!!

NOTE – The local paper printed my PET PEEVE while I was on vacation.

February 6, 2009 - Vacation

The snow and cold temperatures have finally got to me.

I will be on vacation south of the Mason Dixon line through February 16.

Cheers.

JJ

February 4, 2009 - Loser of the Week - Helen Thomas

This week’s LOSER OF THE WEEK is Helen Thomas.

Thomas is a White House press correspondent. Her time has come and gone.

She reminds me of Clara Peller of the “Where’s the Beef?” fame. The only difference is that Peller actually had a point to make. Thomas just rambles.

In a recent interview, Helen Thomas stated, "I’m a liberal, what else should a reporter be?” To see the interview click on the link at the bottom.

Helen Thomas reminds us that there is a time to work, and a time to retire, and a time to move to Oregon to take advantage of the local laws.


Helen Thomas on YouTube

February 2, 2009 - PPM - Super(-ficial) Bowl

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is the continued politicization of everything. It has now moved into the most sacred of all sporting events, THE SUPER BOWL.

I was trying to take my mind off of the Obama train wreck and watch the Super Bowl yesterday.

I was trying to forget that Obama made a major media splash (redundant for him) about not having lobbyist in his administration. He then granted two-dozen appointees a waiver, because they were the “best of the best.”

I was trying to forget that two of Obama’s cabinet level appointments had severe tax issues. Issues that would send normal Americans to jail. Instead, these law-breakers get keys to the Oval Office bathroom.

I was trying to forget that Obama’s first major piece of legislation is going to be an $800 Billion “stimulus” package. A package that has more fat than the waste bin at the #1 liposuction clinic in West Virginia.

However, I could not forget any of this because there was Obama on the NBC Super Bowl pre-game show doing an in-depth interview with Matt Lauer.

Even more painful was Pittsburgh Steelers owner, Dan Rooney, thanking President Obama as he accepted the Championship trophy.

THANKING HIM FOR WHAT? Pass Protection? He’s been in office 12 days.

I received my mortgage statement on Friday. Apparently, we do still have to pay our mortgages, even though a large percentage of Obama voters thought that those days were over.

Here is my PEEVE. Can’t we just enjoy a football game WITHOUT the interjection of politics?

January 30, 2009 - Friday Funny - Horses?

This week’s FRIDAY FUNNY comes from long-time Jabberwocker, Casey.

The good news is that my son is in the second grade and is a great speller.

Casey’s son is a third grader, and may require some (professional) assistance.

January 26, 2009 - PPM - Obama Love Fest Continues

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is the Continued Obama Love-Fest by the Media.

Headlines On This Date 4 Years Ago – about George W. Bush’s Inauguration:

"Republicans spending $42 million on inauguration while troops Die in unarmored Humvees"

"Bush extravagance exceeds any reason during tough economic times"

"Fat cats get their $42 million inauguration party, Ordinary Americans get the shaft"


Headlines This Week:

"Historic Obama Inauguration will cost only $160 million"

"Obama Spends $160 million on inauguration; America Needs A Big Party"

"Everyman Obama shows America how to celebrate"

"Citibank executives contribute $8 million to Obama Inauguration"


Time, Newsweek, and all major newspapers were offering “Commemorative Editions”

You could buy Obama’s likeness on coins, plates, and on anything that didn’t move.

Now, Obama’s first piece of legislation is a $800 Billion “Stimulus” Bill.

The problem is that there is more pork in this bill than the Arkansas State Fair. Unfortunately, NO ONE in the MEDIA will report it.

I wonder when the Media honeymoon will be over? Is there an over/under on the unemployment rate?

January 23, 2009 - Funny Friday - Riddle

This week's Friday Funny comes from Jabberwocker contributor, Lori:

You are driving in a car at a constant speed.

On your left side is a 'drop off', (The ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are traveling on), and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you.

In front of you is a galloping horse, which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a galloping zebra.

Both the horse and zebra are also traveling at the same speed as you.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?



GET YOUR DRUNK SELF OFF OF THE MERRY-GO-ROUND

January 20, 2009 - Inauguration Day

Last night, people were trying to invoke a popular Martin Luther King, Jr. quote to explain Obama’s election.

It came from MLK’s “I Have a Dream” speech from August 1963:

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”

The REALISTIC issue is that Obama WAS elected because of the color of his skin and NOT by his character. How can you explain that 95% of African Americans supported Obama?

If 95% of the whites had voted for McCain, Obama would have lost. All of the McCain supporters would have been labeled Racists. The riots that would have resulted would have made the Rodney King outbursts look like a Birthday Party at Chucky Cheese.

The numbers validate the thesis that Obama was JUDGED by the color of his skin by at least one voting faction.I'm only highlighting the irony with the parallels being drawn between MLK and Obama. I'm not a RACIST but a REALIST.

Sometimes the “EMPEROR HAS NO CLOTHES.”

That said, Barack Obama is MY President and I respect that. However, it should be noted , to paraphrase Hillary Clinton, “The skies will open up, the angels will sing…”..

Conversely, the stock market was down over 300 points TODAY, several more people lost their jobs TODAY, and I feel about the same as I did yesterday.

Barack Obama, you are on the clock, GET TO WORK!!!

Pet Peeve Summary

When I started the JAY’S JABBERWOCKY blog in March 2006, I viewed it as a way to keep in touch with friends, family, and former co-workers.

I had removed myself from the corporate world and decided to proverbially “Walk The Earth.”

I began to write or “blog” about things that interested me and sometimes bothered me. Being retired, I no longer had a “master” to ask me to tone down my rhetoric or opinion.

I was now able to speak out about the injustices of the world. Borne of this opportunity was the PET PEEVE MONDAY.

I describe a normal daily occurrence or a current event that just bugs me. I detail it, why it troubles me, and why it should trouble you. Some times, I even have a solution for it. In less than 3 years I’ve been able to identify 100 PET PEEVES.

Many people comment that they enjoy and commiserate with my PET PEEVE MONDAYS.

I won’t go back and number the PET PEEVES, but I have provided an annual summary at the right.

In 2008, I began submitting certain topical PEEVES to the local paper. As it turns out, MY PEEVES, are OTHERS’ PEEVES as well.

2006 Pet Peeve Summary

Here is a summary of my 2006 PET PEEVES. Asterisks represent blogs that have received interesting feedback (always favorable, of course) from readers.


April 3 – Daylight Savings Time
April 10 – Disorganized / Distracted Grocery Shoppers
April 17 – Everything Has To Be Political
April 24 – Failure to STOP

May 1 – Illegal Immigrants **
May 8 – Highway Rock Gathers **
May 15 – One Name Celebrities
May 22 – TV Series Finales
May 29 – Jimmy Hoffa Search

June 5 –Commencement Speakers
June 12 – Athletes without Helmets **

July 3 – Exploited Holidays
July 10 – Can I have Fries with that Poor Service? **
July 17 – Second Amendment **
July 24 - Newsreaders Gone Wild
July 31 – Children on Phones**

August 21 – Phobias**
August 28 – Reality Show Racist

September 18 – Geneva Convention
September 25 – Revisionist Historians

October 2 - Drinks on the House**
October 9 – Survey Says
October 16 – Do Not Call Lists**
October 23 – No Talking Zone**

November 6 – Non-Voters
November 13 – The Wave
November 20 – Fragile Children**
November 27 – Uncivil War

December 4 – Inappropriate Gifts**
December 11 – No Smoking MEANS No Smoking**