Monday, January 22, 2018

Jan.22, 2018 - PPM - Undocumented Bias

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is Illegal Immigration.  The issue is also known by the politically correct as "undocumented workers" and "neighborly guests."

If someone comes into your house: Sits down. Eats your food.   Do you let them live there or do you call the police?

The issue has been kicked down the road for years and is finally being addressed by President Trump.

My PEEVE is how Trump's position is being categorized by the media(?) as racist.  President Trump’s position is the same as the previous 3 Presidents.  Google It. YouTube It. Read It.

What is different is that Trump stating facts about Illegal Immigration and it's not someone the media approves or endorses.

Haters are going to hate, but look at the facts. Look at the message, not the messenger.
History will judge, but only if the history writers present the facts.


Friday, January 12, 2018

Jan. 12, 2018 - Friday Funny - No Cold Cash

This week’s FRIDAY FUNNY is another FROZEN reference.

I can only reflect on the week I spent on a Disney Cruise just after the movie, FROZEN, was released.  The Frozen music was piped into every hallway, bathroom, and what I thought was a “safe space” on the ship.

Bottom line, I bet Elsa would have dropped the Princess act if her funds were, in fact, frozen.  I’m guessing it would have been more like the Wizard of Oz Witch of the East than of the Witch of the North, directionally speaking.


Friday, January 05, 2018

Jan. 5, 2018 - Funny Friday - Let It Go

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY is the alternative response to the Global Warning narrative.

I've been at a beach in South Carolina the last week where the roads have been closed due to ice and snow. This weather is unprecedented. The local municipalities have no equipment, materials, or ability to clear the roads.

I planned in advance to have enough food, beverages, and firewood to survive.  I promised that I would not be bitter, and that I would LET IT GO, LET IT GO.


Monday, January 01, 2018

Jan. 1, 2018 - PPM - Alternative Facts

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is the pending release of an expose(?) about the first year of the Trump White House.

The book, “Fire and Fury” is authored by Michael Wolff.   Wolff has already admitted that some of the information in the book is not true.

I'm old enough to remember, the media complaining about White House Press Secretary, Sean Spicer using the term "Alternative Facts" in 2017.

If someone comes over to your house and you say, "Help yourself to whatever you want in the fridge, but half of the stuff is bad."

Do you eat or take a pass?

If the author admitted that there are lies in his book. What do you believe?

Unfortunately, the media and the haters will focus on whatever information (fact or not) that advances their narrative. 

The author is brilliant and will sell tons of books.  I only wish that it is eventually reported that Trump and the author COLLUDED to make up stuff to sell books to share in the incredible profits.

At the end of the day, Haters gonna Hate regardless of the facts.


Jan. 1, 2018 - New Year's Resolution

Every January 1st, people make resolutions. Why?  Do they ever keep them? 

I've yet to hear someone on December 31st say, "Yeah, what a great year.  I kept my last year's resolution all year."

January is an incredible profitable month for gyms and exercise chains.  Most people can't make it 4 weeks. 

At least I am honest.

Saturday, August 19, 2017

Aug. 14, 2017 - PPM - Statue of Limitations

This weeks' PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is about the historical statue removal craze that is consuming our country.

This picture made me laugh. 

Seriously, these statues / monuments have been around for years, decades. And just now, someone is triggered and they all most go? Will this solve racism, create jobs, and end terrorism? It's at a minimum a distraction, at worst it divides us even more.

Nancy Pelosi is now pressuring House Speaker Ryan to remove Confederate statues from the US Capitol. She was the Speaker from 2007-2011. Where was she on the issue then? Is she a "reformed racist"?

Maybe we can take all these removed statues and make a great big outdoor Civil War chess set.

I agree with those who say, "Where does it stop?" 
I'm now worried that PETA will remove my giant fiberglass Pig from my yard under the dark of night or during the eclipse.


Just Saying.


Monday, August 07, 2017

Aug. 7, 2017 - PPM - The Book Thieves

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is about Hillary Clinton's new book about the 2016 election: "What Happened".

We all know how her last book, "Hard Choices" performed.

Clinton's book sales didn't even cover half of the $14 million advance that Hillary was paid. 

Some could say, that the book publisher, Simon & Schuster, may have actually made a campaign contribution to her.  Either that or they are really bad at selling books.  Which is scary, given they have one job: SELL BOOKS.

Now, Hillary Clinton is writing another book about the 2016 election called: "What Happened".  Who knows how much the advance will be, but critics are already panning the book.  When you are a liberal and have lost the liberal critics, you have no where to go but down.

I can save you time and money.  I don't mean to spoil the ending, but.....

Here is my PEEVE.  These book deals are nothing more than scams to line the pockets of politicians.  BOTH sides do it, yet it goes undressed.  

I know it is a free market, but stockholders of the publishers and Americans for a free and fair democracy should be upset. Or in my case, PEEVED.

Just Saying.


Monday, July 24, 2017

July 24, 2017 - PPM - Broken Promises


The below nine celebrities (?) all stated that they would leave the USA if Donald Trump was elected President.  


Fine, if you don’t leave.  But you can’t tell me how bad a restaurant is and then continue to eat there again and again.

I propose if someone says they are leaving and don’t leave, then 2 things need to happen.
  1. You lose your right to vote in any future elections.  You were leaving and renouncing your US citizenship anyway.
  2. You are no longer allowed to comment on any political issue.  You can’t be trusted. You told a lie.  Remember “the sky is falling” parable?
The only thing worse than rhetoric is SPINELESS rhetoric.  Keep your promise and go.  I will proudly share my GroupOn Ryder truck rental coupon.

Just Saying.


Friday, July 21, 2017

July 21, 2017 - Friday Funny - Going for the Juggler

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY  was sent to me by a Kentucky friend.

A Kentucky State trooper pulled a car over on I-75 about 8 miles south of Richmond, Kentucky. When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his way to Lexington to do a show for the Childrens' Hospital. He didn't want to be late.

The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a ticket. He told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.

The trooper said he had some flares in the trunk and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the trooper got 5 flares, lit them and handed them to him.

While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the State Troopers car. A drunken good old boy from London got out, watched the performance, then went over to the Trooper's car, opened the rear door and got in.    

The trooper observed him and went over to his car, opened the door asking the drunk what he thought he was doing.

The drunk replied, “You might as well take me to jail, cause there ain't no way I can pass that test.”


Monday, July 17, 2017

July 17, 2017 - PPM - The Password Is?

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is about PASSWORDS.

I believe the pendulum has swung too far.  In fact, I think the pendulum is broken.

I understand the need to have passwords for your financial data or for sensitive personal information, but do we really need a password to make dinner reservations, to see my kid's homework, or to order a pizza?

Can we not be trusted to make reservations under our own name?  Are there really several Abe Fromans out there?  (Ferris Bueller reference)

It reminds me of the bathroom protections that were once, only in airports.  You know the ones.  The bathrooms where they eliminated the faucet handles in lieu of a motion activated sensor.  The sensors THAT DON'T WORK.  YOu constantly wave your hand under them yet no water comes out.  All this, because one guy left the water running, we must all now suffer.

I keep my passwords in a special file on my computer, which also has two levels of passwords to access any file.  The password file now has grown to a list of over 150 accounts.  I'm thinking about publishing my passwords for my electric and water bills in the hope someone else will pay them.

At some point, someone will simply the process.The only problem , is you will need a login and password to access the solution.

(The Password Is? - is a shout-out to a TV show I used to watch in the late 60s and 70s called "Password", hosted by Allen Ludden.  Great show. Great memories of watching the show with my Grandma.)

Just Saying.


Friday, June 30, 2017

June 30, 2017 - Friday Funny - Retirement Update

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY marks 12 years since I retired on July 1, 2005.

It's been a fun run.

I haven;'t written a book, but I have over 1000 blog posts.  If you put them all together, that's a book.

I haven't dropped the extra 10 pounds.  But then again, I haven't gained another 10.

I did retire from playing baseball in an old man's league.  After my last trip to the orthopedic surgeon to look at my right shoulder, he noted that surgery could be performed, but their usual policy is "you don't prune a dead tree."

I did spend more time with the family.  They can tell you if that was a good thing.

But more than anything, I think the below picture sums it up.


Just Saying.


Monday, March 20, 2017

Mar. 20, 2017 - PPM - Free isn't Fair

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is about Obamacare.

The US Congress will be attempting to repeal and replace this horrific law this year.  It has been bad for our economy, bad for the overall healthcare cost curve, and extremely bad for the trajectory of our country as a whole.

The problem is that healthcare should have never been entitled.  Nowhere in the US Constitution does it state that healthcare is a right. It will not be easy, because it is extremely difficult to take back an “entitlement” once provided.  The continued Medicaid expansion that has ballooned under Obamacare cannot be sustained.

Taking money from the working people to pay for someone else’s healthcare is not reasonable.  If I’m going to pay for someone’s healthcare then I should have a say in their lifestyle that affects their healthcare spending.

The best scenario for rolling back an entitlement was when the national and local governments made able bodied welfare recipients work for their benefits.  The welfare rolls dropped when this stipulation was introduced.
Life style choices of poor diets, sedentary lifestyles, and tobacco, alcohol, or illicit drug use, drive poor health results, and drive up healthcare costs.

Where is the motivation to contain Medicaid spending if the users are not held accountable for their behaviors that drive the costs?

If we are going to have an “Entitlement” society, then there needs to be counter measures to balance the cost versus the benefits.

Just Saying.


Friday, February 24, 2017

Feb. 24, 2017 - Friday Funny - Hate Working

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY is a screen capture of a car in traffic.

My analysis is this:

The driver proudly placed his Obama bumper sticker in 2012 and drove around pleasantly for 4 years.

The Vanity plates "H8 WRKN" was only added after the Trump election and the driver found out certain government entitlements may be limited in the future unless you worked.

I could be wrong.

Just Saying


Friday, February 17, 2017

Feb. 17, 2017 - Friday Funny - Putting it in CON-TEXT

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY is how you can turn the tables on your teenagers.

I got tired of the constant texts from my kids.  They would text me, so I would call them.  Instead of answering the phone, they would text back. EXTREMELY ANNOYING.

I decided to play their "Text Game" and added some Emojis for effect.

Soon, they changed the group chat name and implored me to STOP texting.

Now they answer my calls.

Just Saying.


Friday, February 10, 2017

Feb. 10, 2017 - Friday Funny - Be Like Bill

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY is actually also a Public Service Announcement (PSA).

Unfortunately in these divisive times, many people would rather hurl insults on the internet rather than to just disagree and move on.  So many people post from the safety of the Momma's basement knowing there is no recourse.

Just Saying.


Friday, February 03, 2017

Feb. 3, 2017 - Friday Funny - That's Ducked Up

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY (FF) is a shout out to our country's policemen.

At a time, when they are under siege, literally and figuratively, this newspaper article made me laugh.

Just Saying.


Monday, January 23, 2017

Jan. 23, 2017 - PPM - Enjoy The Moment

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is about Enjoying the Moment.

The below picture could have been taken at any public event of iPhone some 10 years ago.  It could have been from last Friday's President Trump's inauguration.

The bottom line, ids no one ever just experiences the moment.  They have to record a video, take a picture, Snap Chat it, Instagram it, .....

I'm not totally guilt-free from this phenomena.  I've slowly weened myself off of this technology laced indulgence, because I know I can get a visual record from someone else.  Truth told - my phone has limited memory left because I haven't deleted anything in almost 10 years.

Eventually the pendulum will swing the other way where we all put our phones down and enjoy the moment.  I just hope someone is there to record THAT moment.

Just Saying.


Friday, January 20, 2017

Jan. 20, 2017 - Friday Funny - Moving Day


I wonder how many of the Hollywood elites who said they would move if Donald Trump was elected, will actually move.

Just Saying.


Thursday, January 19, 2017

Jan. 19, 2017 - You're NOT Going to Miss This

So on January 20, 2017 we will begin the Donald Trump Presidency.  God Help Us.

But, what I do know for sure is that no one (that I know) will be playing the Trace Adkins song, "You're Gonna Miss This" when President Obama leaves.

Just Saying.

Friday, January 13, 2017

Jan. 13, 2017 - Friday Funny - Trump Cabinet

This week's Friday Funny is a result of a long car ride because you can't play "Tunes" forever.

Hardly anyone thought Donald Trump would be elected the nest President last November. So, while driving 10 hours form Ohio to South Carolina last August, a life partner and I decided to propose a possible Trump Cabinet, should he be elected.  

Here were the proposed results:

VP - Donald Trump (why not get the greatest)
Secretary of State - Mel Gibson
Secretary of Treasurer - Bernie Madoff
Education Secretary - Nick Nolte
Health and Human Services Secretary - Woody Allen
Energy Secretary - Richard Simmons
Interior Secretary - Sophia Varga
Attorney General - Hillary Clinton
EPA Secretary - not necessary
Agriculture Secretary - Woody Harrelson
Defense Secretary - Bill Belichek
Labor Secretary - Mrs.  Duggart
Transportation Secretary -  Gary Busey
VA Secretary - Jane Fonda
Homeland Security - Eric Snowden

New Departments: 
Dept of Excess Winning- Charlie Sheen
Wall building - Jackie Chan / George Lopez

We will see how the actual cabinet plays out. I'm sure my choices would not Make America Great Again.

As an American, we always want our President to succeed. Good Luck, President Trump.

Just Saying. 


Monday, January 09, 2017

Jan. 9, 2017 - PPM - Snowball's Chance in Hell

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is the work ethic of today's youth, or actually, THEIR LACK OF A WORK ETHIC.

As we head into this year's "snow season", I am reminded of what has happened the last few years.

The snow falls and there is silence. 
No door bell ring.  
No sounds of metal shovel on the driveway.  
No one singing, "Do You Want To Build A Snowman?"

Actually, I'm OK with the last one, because I've let it go. Let it go.

I remember the Ohio blizzard of 1977 when I made a bucket of money shoveling snow.  Today's kids have no desire, skill, or work ethic.

Companies actually now sell snowball making machines, because our kids can't be challenged with making their own snowballs.

 I believe as an old man, I will never have to yell at a child to "GET OFF MY LAWN" because they will never leave the security of their Momma's basement and their gaming systems.

Just Saying.


Saturday, December 31, 2016

Dec. 31, 2016 - Go BUCKS!!!

So the Buckeyes lost to Clemson tonight in the College Football National Semifinal 31-0.

  • Ohio State sends 14 players to the NFL. 
  • Has the lowest number of returning starters in 2016 of ANY Division I team. 
  • Has 42 freshman play during the year. 
  • Goes 11-1 in the regular season. 
  • Beats michigan. 
I'll take it.
It's ALWAYS a great day to be a BUCKEYE!!!

Sunday, December 25, 2016

Dec. 25, 2016 - Someone's LAST Christmas

It was sad to hear of the passing of George Michael today. 

I saw him in concert in October 1987 at the Los Angeles Forum. He put on a great show that night as he embarked on his solo career. I felt bad for his WHAM partner, Andrew Ridgeley, as he was cast aside much like Miami Vice’s Phillip Michael Thomas was by Don Johnson. To counter Mr. Spock, sometimes the needs of the “One” outweigh the needs of the “Duo.”

I had paid tribute to WHAM! on last year’s 80s Cruise by wearing his trademark “Choose Life” T-shirt. Many people cheered my shirt because they thought I was making a “Pro Life “ statement, which I was OK with as well.

I think all radio stations should honor George Michael by never playing “Last Christmas” again since this was his “Last Christmas.” I, for one, would selfishly appreciate that gesture.

Friday, December 23, 2016

Dec. 23, 2016 - Friday Funny - Reindeer Games

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY has a timely Christmas theme.

Too funny. I only wish I had a Santa suit, because there is plenty of (rein)deer road kill in Ohio.


Monday, December 12, 2016

Dec. 12, 2016 - PPM - Two Cents Times Five

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is that renown feminist Gloria Steinem is refusing to pay her taxes.  More specifically, she says she will send the portion of her income taxes that would normally go toward funding Planned Parenthood directly to the organization should President Trump or the Republicans take away their funding.

Dear. Ms. Steinem -  Please don't call me a misogynist if I refer to you as "Buttercup."  It's not a gender-specific term.  This is not how the tax-collecting, government-spending process works.  

Even if you were able to line-item your contribution and select how your tax monies were spent, consider your actual contribution.

The math behind it is pretty hard to understand. Again, not a misogynist, but I do have a MBA in Finance while your degree is not.   Let me break it down for you.

US 2016 Annual Budget - $3.900,000,000,000
2016 Planned Parenthood (PP) Funding (US taxes) - $500,000,000
PCT of US Budget spent on PP -  0.013%
PCT of PP business that is abortion based - 33% (they claim its 3%)

Gloria Steinem annual income - $178,000
Gloria Steinem taxes paid (28% bracket) - $49,840

Note - We all assume Democrats take no tax deductions because they want to pay their "fair share." Her effective rate is probably closer to 15%.

Total amount of taxes paid by Gloria Steinem that goes to abortion funding is:

 ($49,840 *0.00013 * .33) or $2.13

If you index this amount for her actual effective tax rate and the 3% Planned Parenthood figure they post in their literature,  her possible TRUE contribution is:

$.10 or ONE THIN DIME.

So Ms. Gloria Steinem - you can hardly afford to put your two cents in, but thanks for taking a stand.  A position that cannot be legally performed or supported.

Sorry Buttercup.

By the way - this is Misandry, which is just as bad as Misogyny. 


Friday, December 09, 2016

Dec. 9, 2016 - FF - Never Trumper's Merry XMas

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY (FF) is dedicated to those disgruntled non-Trump voters.

It's been a month since the election and we are just over a month from his Inauguration. 

It seems some people will be delivering coal to their kids for Christmas.

Actually, it probably won't be coal but some earth-friendly, non fossil fuel substitute.  Maybe a voided, outdated, carbon off-set gift certificate.  

You may want to check Al Gore's web site to see what is available.  Just stay away from the gently used sauna/spa bathrobe section.  Just saying.


Friday, December 02, 2016

Dec. 2, 2016 - FF - Ding Dong the King is Dead

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY (FF) is the death of Fidel Castro.

Fidel's death had been rumored for many years, but it was finally confirmed last week.  He outlived many US Presidents, assassination attempts, and coups.

Although, it was never officially reported, I think the election of Donald Trump can take credit for putting the final proverbial nail in Fidel's coffin.


Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Nov. 30, 2016 - Loser, Again.

I feel somewhat bad for this Loser of the Week.

He had pretty good intentions and looked good for most of the game.  He should have taken a selfie when his team was up by 10 points early in the third quarter.

Unfortunately, he waited until after THE OHIO STATE University had won in Double Overtime to take the picture.

Bad Timing, LOSER.


Saturday, November 26, 2016

Nov. 26, 2016 - Jim Harbaugh is Sad

THE OHIO STATE University beat michigan today 30-27 in double overtime.

The OSU Coach, Urban Meyer,  is now 5-0 against michigan and 2-0 against their coach Jim Harbaugh.

Put all the stats aside.  This is the best story of today and for thing to come.

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Friday, November 25, 2016

Nov. 25, 2016 - FF - No Ring For You

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY (FF) is about the upcoming GAME next weekend.

The #2 Ohio State Buckeyes will be playing the #3 michigan Wolverines.  At stake is a possible Big Ten Championship game berth and/or a place in the College Football Playoffs.

Sad, yet true.  Some day, I may have to delete this post. But I doubt it.


Nov. 25, 2016 - FF - Black Friday Patience or Patients

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY is what Black Friday has become.

REALLY?  Sales have become so important that it now inspires patients to leave their hospital beds?


Friday, November 18, 2016

Nov. 18, 2016 - FF - Tolerance Defined

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY (FF) is a statement on last week's election of Donald Trump.

People are still protesting.  People are still stating that he is "Not My President." 

These are the same people who claim to be tolerant.  

The same people who shamed Donald Trump for not stating he would accept the will of the people and acknowledge the results of the 2016 election.

I love this phrase from the movie, "The Princess Bride."  I use it often, as I should.


Friday, November 11, 2016

Nov. 11, 2016 - FF - Buttercups Unite

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY (FF) is dedicated to all the BUTTERCUPS out there.

I'm sure that the term, BUTTERCUP, will be added to the next year's edition of Oxford Dictionary.  If they can add words like "selfie" and "YOLO", BUTTERCUP can't be far behind.  

That assumes the dictionary authors are able to get WiFi service from their "Safe Space" they have retreated to since the election of Donald Trump.


Thursday, November 10, 2016

Nov. 10, 2016 - Results Validated

The ironies just continue.  All through October and up to the election, we were lectured by the Democrats AND the media about how Donald Trump and his followers should accept the election results.  

"It would be a threat to our Democracy" was the rallying cry.

How quickly the tables and emotions turn.  Grow up BUTTERCUPS.

Wednesday, November 09, 2016

Nov. 9, 2016 - Results are IN!!!

WOW.   No one saw this result coming.

The news media is crying.  Students are protesting.  Hillary is in a drunken stupor.

It is almost surreal, the response.  The silent majority has spoken.  

Do they hear us NOW?

Friday, October 14, 2016

Oct. 14, 2016 - Friday Funny - Apology Accepted

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY is very appropriate as we head into the final days of the election.

I would actually stop and give this man some money based on his honesty.  I only wish more people would own up to their past mistakes.


Friday, October 07, 2016

Oct. 7, 2016 - FF - Graphic Mistake

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY (FF) is about graphical representations.  I don't remember much about high school math, but this GRAPH looks a bit off.

Maybe it's just that COMMON CORE stuff I've been hearing so much about.


Friday, September 30, 2016

Sept 30, 2016 - Friday Funny - Wine Pong

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY is an alternative to the Beer Pong that is now the rage at most football tailgate parties.

This game, Wine Pong, steps it up a bit.  It is most likely played on the Left Coast. 

Although, wine from a box is frowned upon at most west coast schools and in modern society, it is widely accepted at USC and Cal.


Monday, September 26, 2016

Sept 26, 2016 - PPM - Celebrity Anmesia

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is about the people NOW supporting Hillary Clinton.

Stumping for Hillary Clinton, Katy Perry vows, “We can do better!” 

Odd considering she stumped for President Obama's re-election effort in 2012. SO, NOW, they can do better than the person who they endorsed 4 years ago. 

Is it a memory loss or convenient amnesia? 
How about just an apology and saying you were wrong? 
Any Regrets?


Friday, September 16, 2016

Sept 16, 2016 - Friday Funny - White House to Out House

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY happened when I'm trying to use the bathroom at the car dealership when Michelle Obama comes on the TV. She says, "It's almost time for Barack and I to leave the White House..." 

I hear a voice from the neighboring stall, "Thank God!!!" 

I usually try not to laugh when I pee but sometimes I cant help myself.


Friday, September 09, 2016

Sept. 9, 2016 - Friday Funny - My Enema is My Friend

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY is an admission that I loved the fact that technology today has auto correct and spellcheck.

Although, sometimes, it allows a word that is spelled corruptly, but it wasn't the word intended.

Oh,  Weight.


Friday, August 26, 2016

Aug. 26, 2016 - Friday Funny - TRUE Rewards

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY is an actual text conversation I had about the merits of reward versus punishment as a means to influence behavior modification. 
You need a license to drive and fish but not to parent. How cool is that???


Friday, August 19, 2016

Aug. 19, 2016 - Friday Funny - Money Talks

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY is what happened as I was walking into a Cincinnati Reds game today.

I looked over at this old guy in a Dodger cap and heard his voice.  I said., "Hey Eddie!!" and sure enough it was 80's rocker Eddie Money.  

You just never know. GOOD TIMES!!!


Friday, August 12, 2016

Aug 12, 2016 - FF- He's ALMOST everywhere

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY (FF) could be a warning about texting and driving or driving while intoxicated.

Either way, the license plate says it all.


Monday, July 04, 2016

Jul;y 4, 2016 - Hometown Fourth Of July

I would like to wish a happy FOURTH OF JULY from my hometown of Zanesville, Ohio.

This is from the Y-Bridge.  One of only two Y-Bridges in the world. 

GO U-S-A!!!

Friday, July 01, 2016

July 1, 2016 - Friday Funny - Plane Humor

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY is the conversations between UPS pilots and their maintenance crews.  

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet" which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots ("P") and solutions recorded ("S") by maintenance engineers:

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

After 20+years in Customer Service, these interactions would have been a welcome relief.


Tuesday, June 14, 2016

June 14, 2016 - Distress-Full Situation

I was re-purposing a wood pallet as an American Flag for a patriotic yard display for Flag Day. 

After painting the flag, I accidentally mounted it on an A-frame upside down.  This is the international sign of “distress” which subconsciously probably describes my choices in the coming election.

I fixed my error and remounted the flag correctly.  It now stands proudly with some old Riverfront Stadium seats. 

Now if we could only correct the major political party nominees as easily.

Monday, June 06, 2016

June 6, 2016 - PPM - Graduation Gift Grabs

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is High School Graduations.  Specifically, it's the Graduation Announcements.

Every year, I dread going to the mailbox to retrieve the seemingly endless supply of HS graduation announcements.  Some are legitimate.  They are the sons and daughters of close friends. I know of them and quite possibly remember their names.

Others come from long lost acquaintances who I didn't even know had children.  These are nothing more than a straight Graduation Gift Grab.  At least when you invited to a wedding, you bring a gift because you are getting a nice meal and possibly an open bar.

I've developed a "Gift Scale" that is indexed on the geographic proximity of the friend, the length of the friendship, and the frequency of our interactions.  Some make the gift cut.....others do not.

Either way, when asked to deliver some advice to new grads, I'm always reminded of the below:
Please contact me when you get a diploma from a college or a trade school or spend a few years in the Armed Services. I have a much more generous "Gift Scale" for real accomplishments.