July 17, 2009 - Friday Funny - Aphorisms

APHORISM: A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE EXPRESSING A WISE OR CLEVER OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH. - submitted by Michigan Jabberwocker

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

9. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.

10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.

11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.

13. No one ever says 'It's only a game.' when their team is winning.

14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.

15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)

18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.

19. After 50, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead!!

20. Always be yourself because the people who matter don't mind, and the ones who mind, don't matter.

I like #18 - I always say that the people that say money doesn't buy happiness, don't know where to shop.

July 13, 2009 - PPM - Cell Phones AGAIN

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is once again about Cell Phone etiquette.

I had previously blogged about Cell Phone use in Restaurants, Cell Phone use in Gyms, and Cell Phone use in Groceries.

Today, I was able to add 2 more.

While shopping at Target, the woman in the below photo was extremely rude to the cashier. She was not able to pry the phone from her ear to participate in the checkout process. It’s a shame when someone accidentally hit her with a shopping cart. “I’m sorry, I guess you didn’t hear me coming. I guess you were TOO involved in your meaningless conversation on your cell phone.”

Later that day, I was enjoying a peaceful dinner outside at a local Mexican restaurant. Another diner decided not to offend her dining party eating inside the restaurant. She decided to talk on her cell phone in the presence of the 30 people sitting on the patio. I don’t know what was louder, her conversation or her outfit.

Come on people. Have some manners, some etiquette, or just some common sense.

GET OFF THE PHONE!!!

July 10, 2009 - Friday Funny - Adjectives are NOT Just Words

This week’s FRIDAY FUNNY comes form long time Jabberwocker, Heidi, a not-so-closet Grammar Goddess. It is commentary on recent geo-political / thermo-nuclear events.

We will spare no article of speech in our response to the grave nuclear threat.

One day after North Korea launched a successful test of a nuclear weapon, President Obama said that the United States was prepared to respond to the threat with "the strongest possible adjectives."

In remarks to reporters at the White House, Mr. Obama said that North Korea should fear the "full force and might of the United States' arsenal of adjectives" and called the missile test "reckless, reprehensible, objectionable, senseless, egregious and condemnable."

Standing at the President's side, Vice President Joseph Biden weighed in with some tough adjectives of his own, branding North Korean President Kim Jong-Il "totally wack and illin'."

Later in the day, Defense Secretary Robert Gates called the North Korean nuclear test "supercilious and jejune," leading some in diplomatic circles to worry that the U.S. might be running out of appropriate adjectives with which to craft its response.

But President Obama attempted to calm those fears, saying that the United States was prepared to "scour the thesaurus" to come up with additional adjectives and was "prepared to use adverbs" if necessary.

"Let's be clear: we are not taking adverbs off the table," Mr. Obama said. "If the need arises, we will use them forcefully, aggressively, swiftly, overwhelmingly and commandingly."

July 6, 2009 - PPM - Palin's Media Coverage

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is about the media. I know, same target, different subject, different week.

This week the media, when they aren’t covering the Michael Jackson train wreck, are hung up on Alaska Governor Sarah Palin’s resignation.

They are vilifying her for her “Lack of Commitment.” Actually, I commend her. She desires a higher calling or office and decided to go for it.

I blogged about the TRUE “Lack Of Commitment” by candidates last fall. It targeted those candidates that do NOT resign one office when they run for another. Worst yet, are those people that truly “hedge their bets” by running for 2 offices at once.

Did you know Joe Biden won two races last November? He won re-election to his Delaware Senate seat on the same night he won the VP. If he was a real man, he would have resigned his Senate seat the day he was named Obama’s running mate.

Our fearless leader, (when he has a TelePrompter), Barack Obama began his run for Presidency 2 years into his Senate CAREER!!! He didn’t resign. He didn’t do the job he was elected to do.

Kudos to Palin for giving up a job she knew that she wouldn’t be focused on. At least she had the “you know what” to stand up and do the right thing.

Shame on the Media for their continued double standard when it comes to Sarah Palin. I chronicled this travesty last August at her coming out party.

The Media has attacked Palin’s family, her clothes, and her lack of an Ivy League education. It’s too bad the Media can’t focus on the issues. I guess that is a LOSING proposition.

July 3, 2009 - Friday Funny - "Obama Man"

Funny Video from Greg Morton sung to Candy Man music.