June 29, 2009 - PPM - Michael Jackson Media Coverage

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is about the ridiculous 7*24 coverage of the Michael Jackson death.

He was a singer, a good one, and that was it. He didn’t cure the sick, solve world hunger, or save a plane from crashing.

Last Friday, Michael Jackson were the top 4 stories on Yahoo.com. #5 was that North Korea threatened nuclear retaliation.

On the NBC Nightly News, the first 16 minutes were devoted to Jackson. All of the news channels were quoting TMZ as a source.

Fox News was actually interviewing the National Enquirer’s Entertainment Editor. It seems the editor had predicted that Michael Jackson would die within 6 months last February. The 110-year-old woman that gave birth to Alien twins that were covered in that same National Enquirer issue was unavailable for comment.

Here is a sample of the National Enquirer journalism from February of this year. I believe that Patrick Swayze is still alive, although I cannot contest the other cover stories.

The White House also weighed in for the first time, with a spokesman saying President Barack Obama saw Jackson as a spectacular performer and music icon. The House of Representatives observed a moment of silence.

The White House some how couldn’t find their voice about the rigged elections in Iran, but was right on top of the Jackson death.

Let’s get some Perspective – folks!!!

BTW – I also predicted Mr. Jackson’s demise last December, well ahead of the National Enquirer.

I feel bad for Farrah Fawcett. She is getting no mention in the press.

I was once seated on a plane next to Lee Trevino. I remarked to Lee that I really hoped that the plane didn’t go down with him on board. Trevino thanked me and asked me how long I had been his fan. I responded that I really wasn’t a fan of golf or him. I explained that if the plane crashed that he would get all the headlines and I would also just be a passenger on “his” plane crash. Can anyone name the 4th passenger on the last plane ride of Buddy Holly?

What is really sick is the behavior of Joe Jackson, Michael’s Father. It is well documented of the physical and emotional abuse this “parent” levied on Michael.

The abuse continues even in Michael’s death. Joe Jackson is pimping his son’s funeral arraignments in order to maximize the return on his investment.

Michael Jackson’s death was not tragic, but was expected. I guess the media’s infatuation with his death will continue, as long as people will watch.

Thank goodness I have viewing options. I had the foresight to TIVO the Desperate Housewives of Orange County.

June 28, 2009 - Death of a GREAT Salesman

Wow. It just got interesting. My post last week indicated “Celebrities Die in Threes.” Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, and Michael Jackson passed on last week.

Now comes word that Billy Mays, the burly, bearded television pitchman whose boisterous hawking of products such as Orange Glo and OxiClean made him a pop-culture icon, has died. Arthur Miller would need to rewrite his play, if it was about Billy Mays.

Should 2 more celebrities be nervous or was Ed McMahon over rated?

As a former salesman, I always liked Billy Mays. I watched him on the new Conan O’Brien Tonight Show last week and he was engaging and funny.

Mays was only 50 (same as Jackson). It was not immediately clear how Mays died. He said he was hit on the head when an airplane he was on made a rough landing Saturday, and his wife, Deborah Mays, told investigators he didn't feel well before he went to bed about 10 p.m. that night.

My condolences to the Mays family. Billy was truly was one of the good guys.

June 26, 2009 - Friday Funny - Farrah's Wish

This week’s FRIDAY FUNNY is dedicated to Farrah Fawcett. She is the real LOSER this week as no one is talking about her death or courageous fight against cancer.

It’s all about Michael Jackson, but I’ll save the details for next Monday’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM).

Here is a great, current joke courteous of Google.

When Farrah Fawcett got to heaven, and arrived at the pearly gates, she was greeted by St. Peter.

"Wow!" exclaimed the St. Peter. "We really enjoyed your work, especially Charlie's Angels! I still have a poster in my office of you with that red bikini! Go on through"

Farrah is a little taken aback. "Thank you..."

She is greeted by God and he says, "Well, I have a special reward for you. I'm prepared to grant you one wish. Have anything in mind?"

Not one to act selfish and change God’s opinion of her, Farrah thinks for a second and decides upon a wish. "I'd like for all the children of the world to be safe and sound forever."

"Done!" exclaims God. He snaps, and Michael Jackson appears IMMEDIATELY next to Farrah.

And taking second place -What were Michael Jackson’s last words "No, No, take me to the Childrens’ Hospital!"

June 25, 2009 - Derby Dead Pool Update

There was huge news day with the celebrity deaths of Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson.

People always say that “They always Die in Threes." I guess with the death of Ed McMahon earlier this week, Oprah Winfrey and David Letterman can rest easy, ….for now.

For those long time Jabberwockers, I have been a participant for the past three years in the DERBY DEAD POOL.

The Derby Dead Pool is where you list 20 people that you think will die during the calendar year. The winner last year correctly predicted 12 of his 20 celebrity deaths. You get points based on how they die and how old they were at the time of their death

I currently “Captain” 4 teams:

2 Sick Not 2 Quit – personal list , 3rd year, finished 165th last year
1 Dead in Ohio – perossnl list, 3rd year, finished 342nd last year
Say Hi to Uncle George – family list, 1st year
5 Feet and 1 To Go – book club list, 1st year

Until today there had not been a “hit” on any of the 4 lists, an almost unheard of probability.

And then within one hour, two major deaths.

For example, here is the list for the 2 Sick Not 2 Quit submission:

Muhammad Ali
Fidel Castro
Dick Clark
Roger Ebert
Farrah Fawcett
Michael J Fox
Teri Garr
Stephen Hawking
Steve Jobs
Senator Edward Kennedy
Larry King
Jack Klugman
Jerry Lewis
George Michael
Liza Minnelli
Sharon Osbourne
Greg Page
Ron Santo
Ariel Sharon
Mary Tyler Moore

For the record, I’m not sadistic, otherwise I would put more time into research and would have finished higher than 165th last year.

I just have always been a fan of actuarial tables and the abnormal distribution of celebrity deaths indicated that most fall outside of 2 standard deviations from the mean (using a Z distribution of course.)

June 22, 2009- PPM- Real Estate Business Cards

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is Real Estate salespeople’s business cards.

My PEEVE or question is why do they put their picture on their business card?

I make NO apologies for generalizations, but it’s been my experience with real estate agents is that:

Women – usually put a picture at least 10 years earlier. They usually have that 1980’s big hair look. Where a TV adds 10 pounds, business cards must subtract 10-20 pounds.

Men - if they have been in the Real Estate business for a long time, they have a comb over, a hair piece, or a picture that would also be a mug shot for a MSNBC’s “To Catch A Predator” show.

I’ve bought and sold many house over the years. I’ve never selected a Real Estate Agent based on their time-dated, air brushed photo. I’m looking for a competent salesperson, not a rent a date.

I have never bought a large ticket item based on the sales person’s appearance. I may have tipped a bit more at a local diner or pub, but who doesn’t appreciate good service? ;-)

When I was a workingman, I would hope that no sales were won based on my average or above average handsomeness.

BTW – if you need a house in Idaho, call Rock and Roll Realty.

June 19, 2009 - Friday Funny - Government Motors

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY was provided by Jabberwocker Lori.

In a special news conference yesterday, Government Motors announced its new concept car.

The new GM (Government Motors) proudly introduces the 2010 Obama.

This car runs on hot air and broken promises. It has three wheels that speed the vehicle through tight left turns. It comes complete with two Teleprompters programmed to help the occupants talk their way out of any violations.

The transparent canopy reveals the plastic smiles still on the faces of all the "happy" Democrat owners.

June 18, 2009 - Blog Update

You are probably saying, "What's up with the lack of posts?"

My response - "It wasn't me." Blogger sent me a the below message:

"Hello, Your blog at: http://jaysjabberwocky.blogspot.com/ has been identified as a potential spam blog.

Your blog will be deleted in 20 days if it isn't reviewed, and your readers will see a warning page during this time. After we receive your request, we'll review your blog and unlock it within two business days. Once we have reviewed and determined your blog is not spam, the blog will be unlocked and the message in your Blogger dashboard will no longer be displayed.

We find spam by using an automated classifier. Automatic spam detection is inherently fuzzy, and occasionally a blog like yours is flagged incorrectly. We sincerely apologize for this error.
Thank you for your understanding and for your help with our spam-fighting efforts.

Sincerely,
The Blogger Team"

Ironically, this email from BLOGGER looked like SPAM. All is well now and I have been cleared to continue.

Your emails are very important to me and will be answered in the order received. Please stay on the line and a representative will be with you shortly. These emails may be monitored for quality assurance.

Cheers.

JJ

June 5, 2009 - Friday Funny - Ice Cream

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY comes from a Jabberwocker up north.

In Honor of the 44th President of the United States, Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has issued a new flavor, "Baracky Road."

Baracky Road is a blend of half Vanilla, half Chocolate, and surrounded by Nuts and Flakes.

The Vanilla portion of the mix is not openly advertised and usually denied as an ingredient.

The Nuts and Flakes are all very bitter and hard to swallow.

The Cost is $100.00 per scoop.

When purchased, it will be presented to you in a large beautiful cone, but then the Ice Cream is taken away and given to the person in line behind you.

Thus you are left with an empty wallet, no change, holding an empty cone, with no hope of getting any Ice Cream.

Feeling stimulated yet?