Jan. 31, 2013 - On the Fence?

This is from Jeff Foxworthy, the comedian:

Which side of the fence?

If you ever wondered which side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!

If a Republican doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a Democrat doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a Republican is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a Republican is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a Democrat is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a Republican is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A Democrat wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a Republican doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels..
Democrats demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a Republican is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A Democrat non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.

If a Republican decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A Democrat demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a Republican reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A Democrat will delete it because he's "offended".

It’s not only funny, but ACCURATE.

Jan. 28, 2013 - PPM - Levy Me Alone

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is the request by the Cincinnati Zoo & Botanical Garden for an operational tax levy.

The Cincinnati Zoo’s Executive Director stated, “Without the extra help, zoo quality will suffer and the experience for its 1.4 million annual visitors would be “placed in jeopardy.”

Here’s my PEEVE.

Any cultural event or activity should stand on its own financially. If people won’t pay to see it, then it shouldn’t be supported by MY tax dollars. This includes the ballet, art museums, and YES, zoos.

The Kings Island Amusement Parks and other regional entertainment venues can make it without tax levies. Why? Because they charge a MARKET-BASED admission fee.

If the Zoo wants to survive, raise Admission and Parking Fees. If people won’t or don’t pay, shut it down. Sell the animals, return them to their natural wild habitat, or cook the tasty ones and charge a HUGE tasting fee.

In Florida, DisneyWorld offers in-state discounts to Florida residents. They do this to increase admissions and they operate WITHOUT a levy.

Currently, every Hamilton County home owner of a $100,000 home pays $10 a year to support the zoo. Does the homeowner receive ANY Zoo admission discount? If a homeowner is paying INTO the operational fund, shouldn’t they at least get a discount over a non-supporter?

Where do you draw the line? Why should we support, what is basically a “special interest” opportunity?

Coincidently, an investment group has completed its purchase of the eastern Iowa farm where "Field of Dreams" was filmed and plans to begin turning it into a large baseball and softball tournament complex in the spring. It was not generating enough funds to continue to operate, so it’s decided to modify their MARKETING approach.

Bottom Line, to paraphrase the movie “Field of Dreams”: If you Build It, people will come, unless they don’t and then MARKET IT BETTER.




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Jan. 21, 2013 - PPM - 2nd Inauguration Oaf

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is the second Inauguration of President Obama.

Why do we need a second oath and inauguration event? Did he stop honoring the previous Oath at some point? Some would argue that he never followed the original Oath based upon his indifference to the US Constitution.

Did we somehow transition from the previous Obama to a new Obama? Doubtful.

It seems like an unnecessary Pomp and Circumstance, AND EXPENSE. But then again, money, or in Obama's case, our money has never been a deterrent to his spending.

Here is how Obama should have recited the Oath:

"I, Barack Hussein Obama, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States. And will, to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States, so help me God...... THIS TIME."

Clearly Obama flunked his first term since he's being forced to repeat it again.

And speaking of failures, below is Newsweek's online cover. They ceased their print production of their magazine at the end of 2012. I had been a subscriber for 40 years. Over time, their judgment and political posturing had offended many, including me.


I believe this speaks for itself. I will NOW be deleting my FREE Newsweek iPad icon.

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Jan. 21, 2013 - Contract Extension?

It's been over 8 years since I have given or received an employee evaluation. I used to have a reputation with HR that I could fire someone and have them be glad that they had they had "decided" to spend more time with their family.

Prior to the second inauguration or coronation of President Obama for a second term, I wanted to offer a pragmatic review of the last 4 years. I wanted to determine if I would renew Obama's contract for another 4 years if I was his employer. Which, when you think about it, he is an employee of ALL of us.

Here is how I would evaluate our President.

Deliverable: National Security - Rating: Failure to Meet Expectations

You started your foreign policy campaign with an "Apology Tour" which seemed odd at the time. You said we would be respected in the Muslim world with you as President. Unfortunately that has not been the case.

You had a MAJOR failure in communication. You correctly called the Navy Seals and congratulated them on the killing on Osama Bin Ladin. However when the Navy Seals called for your help in Benghazi, you ignored them.

We now have unresolved issues in Syria, Mali, Algeria, and that is the last month.

Deliverable: Economy - Rating: Failure to Meet Expectations

You promised to cut the annual deficit in half, instead you double the annual deficit. The unemployment rate remains unchanged from 4 years ago. Additionally 6 trillion was added to the national debt. Poverty is up 23%. Food stamp participation is up 46%.

Deliverable: Energy - Rating: Failure to Meet Expectations

A gallon of gas cost 79% more than 4 years ago. You have stopped the Keystone Pipeline and limited off-shore oil drilling and opposed coal mining. You have also invested our tax dollars on companies like Solyndra that have lost millions of dollars.

Deliverable: Governance - Rating: Failure to Meet Expectations

You have failed at every juncture to bring the segments of our government together and provide guidance and leadership. You have continually "kicked the can down the road." The deficit and the debt have been ignored.

Also, by Presidential directive, you have asked the law enforcement to ignore immigration laws, DOMA, and, in general, the Constitution.

At this point in the evaluation, I would ask the incumbent, given the above stated facts, do they THINK they DESERVED a contract extension?

Here would be my response:

"President Obama. We thank you for your last 4 years of attempted service. We have decided to go another direction. I'm sure you will be happy to spend more time on the golf course and with your family. or completing your unfinished tenure as a Community Organizer.

Also, please let Biden know that he should go also. Biden can keep the jacket, but please let him know that the new Obamacare rules do not cover hair plugs."

Who's NEXT?

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Jan. 20, 2013 - Loser of the Week - Ray Nagin

This week's LOSER OF THE WEEK is former New Orleans mayor, Ray Nagin.

The ex-mayor is alleged to have taken $200,000 in kickbacks and received trips to Hawaii, Jamaica and Las Vegas. In total, there are 21 federal corruption charges.

Nagin, served two, four-year terms as mayor from 2002-2010 and was the face of New Orleans after the 2005 Hurricane Katrina. Nagin famously said in a Martin Luther King Day speech in which he predicted New Orleans would return to be a "chocolate city" and asserted that "God was mad at America."

Nagin is not my LOSER OF THE WEEK because of these statements or indictments. Nagin is a LOSER because he MOVED away from New Orleans and currently lives in Frisco, Texas outside of Dallas.

Nagin couldn't even support the people of New Orleans. The same people who supported him.


Nagin is a LOSER without CONVICTION, well at least until his trial.




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Jan. 18, 2013 - Friday Funny - TE'O-ing

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY is the current situation with Notre Dame football player Manti Te'o.

In summary, he had a "girlfriend" for 3 years, yet never met her. Then she unexpectedly died. Cue - motivational speeches and tear-jerking human interest stories. The fabrications almost elevated a non-qualified player into receiving the highest individual college football award, The Heisman.

There are so many holes in the story that Hollywood would have rejected the script. No one would have bought the premise of the story.

How can you be in a loving relationship for 3 years yet have never met, SKYPE-ed, FaceTime-ed, etc.

Manti lives in HI. the Girlfriend lives in CA. Manti goes to school in Indiana. To get from IN to HI, you stop in CA!!!

How can a nationally-known linebacker at a top school not get a "local" girlfriend?

Finally, if my girlfriend of 3 years dies, I'm going to go to the funeral. Everyone remembers the "Fawn Liebowitz" scene from Animal House. Enough said.

The late night comics are having a field day with the topic.


Unfortunately, when the total truth comes out, and it will, several lives will be forever damaged.

But, until then, I've decided to get into the act and offer my own version of TE'O-ing at lunch earlier this week.


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Jan. 14, 2013 - PPM - Sagging Partici-(de)-Pants

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is "Sagging" Pants.

I had only read about it on the internet and had seen random pictures from far off places like Los Angeles and Chicago, until recently.

Sagging is a manner of wearing trousers (slacks, shorts, pants or jeans) below the waist, revealing much of the underwear.

I finally braved the elements and went to a local Cincinnati mall. It was post-Christmas and I thought it would be vacant. Wrong!!!.

Among the throngs (not thongs) of people, I found several instances of the "Sagging." It was shocking and then funny. Most of the Sagging partici(de-)pants were already fashionably challenged, or maybe that was the point.

When I approached one Sagger, to explore his reasoning for sagging, he had no response. I explained that I had a son about his age. I explained that my son had also been a Sagger, ..... when he was 2 and had a full diaper.

No laugh, no smile, no real response. I wanted to prank him and pull down his the rest of the way and run off. There would have been no way he could have caught me. But I figured he already looked dumb enough just standing there.


Mark Twain is reported to have said, "When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Cincinnati because it's always twenty years behind the times."

Well, apparently Cincinnati isn't lagging it's sagging.

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Jan. 11, 2013 - Friday Funny - He's Baaaack

There used to be an old political button, "I'm tanned, rested, and ready to run." It would feature a picture of Richard Nixon. This week, we (or I) celebrate President Nixon's 100th birthday.



Unfortunately, today's FRIDAY FUNNY is not far from the truth.

I believe history, if correctly written, will look back at this Obama administration as one of the most corrupt and constitutionally-challenged periods in our democracy.


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Jan. 10, 2013. - Loser of Week - Al Gore

My first LOSER OF THE WEEK for 2013 is Al Gore.

Gore is like the relative who visits, but doesn't know when to leave. He has the politics of George McGovern, the libido of John Edwards, the hair of Joe Biden (1987), and the girth Michael Moore.

It has been well document how this "environmental-friendly" politician had private jets, gas guzzling SUVs, and electricity hogging estates.

Now, Al Gore’s hypocrisy is front and center as he has sold his stake in Current TV to Al-Jazeera. This Pan-Arab news channel is funded by the Qatar government that is in turn funded by OIL.

That is right, the same oil that Al Gore has campaigned against his ENTIRE life.

The LOSER and HYPOCRITE OF THE WEEK is Al Gore.

One would have thought that Gore would have stayed away from all OILS, since his disastrous hotel room, oil massage scandal.

I guess that was just an Inconvenient Story without a Happy Ending.




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Jan. 9, 2013 - Nixon at 100

Today we celebrate Richard Nixon's 100th Birthday.


When I lived in LA, I used to visit President Nixon's Library on a regular basis until I was banned for repeatedly bumping into other museum patrons and saying, "Pardon Me. Pardon Me. Pardon Me."

That joke never gets old, unless you are an overweight, middle-aged, career-challenged, former mall cop, working security at the 37th President's Library.



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Jan. 7, 2013 - Politician Heads in the Sand(y)

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is the Hurricane Sandy Relief Bill.

Congress wanted a $60 BILLION bill designed and disguised to fund relief and repair activities as a result of last fall's Hurricane Sandy. The only problem is that the funds were targeted for almost EVERYTHING but actual hurricane relief.

The bill included:

$150 million for Alaskan fisheries
$2 million to the Smithsonian to repair roofs
$8 million to Homeland Security to buy cars
$58.8 million for forest restoration on private land.
$197 million to protect coastal ecosystems and habitats
$10.78 billion for public transportation construction
$17 billion for wasteful Community Development Block Grants

This pork ladened bill comes at a time when we are over $16 TRILLION in debt and are approaching the debt ceiling....AGAIN!!!

When will Congress get a clue? We don't have a tax problem, we have a SPENDING PROBLEM.

It is really sad that politicians would try to leverage an actual tragedy for their own personal PORK projects.n They are truly, PIGS AT THE TROUGH.



I won't even get into the merits of offering relief to residents that should have had insurance. We do this, repeatedly, to towns and cities (New Orleans) that build in the flood planes.

I will never understand why someone in the midwest gets the financial bill for someone at the beach. If you are using the midwest's money, shouldn't the midwesterner get 2 weeks prepaid vacation at said beach each year?

Asking for a friend.


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Jan. 2, 2013 -Cliff Notes

Today, our Congress has voted in support of a bill to "solve" the self-generated fiscal cliff crisis.

President Obama says it gets "millionaires & billionaires" to begin to pay their fair share for the 1st time in 20 years. So we finally know what fair share means: 39.6%

If the Clinton rates were good enough for the "Rich", why can't we go back to the Clinton tax levels for EVERYONE and more importantly, why can't we return to the Clinton spending levels?

This bill has $41 in tax hikes for every $1 in spending cuts. So this is "balanced?"

The non-partisan Congressional Budget Office (CBO) has score this bill. It actually adds $3.971 trillion to the deficit over the next 10 years. It pushes the deficient "can" down the road, yet again.




Well done, Mr. Obama. The only thing that you have correctly stated in the debates was that you were not good at math.

So who is ready for Congressional term limits?

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