April 10 - Pet Peeve Monday

This week’s Pet Peeve is Grocery Shoppers that:

1. enter the store with no plan or list


2. decide that now is the time to talk to all their friends on the cell phone

First let’s address the non-planners. My doctrine has always been, “Nobody plans to fail, they just fail to plan.” When I see people going back and forth between aisles or going against traffic, they just screw it up for every one else. Everyone in the store knows you go from left to right, as you would if you were reading a book. That’s why the frozen foods are at the far right of the store. I’m sure Chinese groceries are just the reverse as they read from right to left. You don’t put the Salisbury Steak dinners (hungry man size) in your cart first and allow it to melt while you spend 10 minutes in the cereal aisle reviewing your 142 choices. I’ve even created a tri-fold shopping list laid out by grocery section. It has reduced my grocery time in half.

Now, the real culprits that are the star of this week’s Pet Peeve, The “I’m in the grocery and I haven’t talked to my college roommate in twenty years, so I think I’ll call her now and tell her about my three kids, my wonderful husband, the soccer team, what happened on Desperate Housewives last night, do these pants make my ass look fat…” woman. You people on your cell phone do NOT need to use them at the Grocery. You also do not need to TALK SO LOUD so that everyone hears about your rash. They should put a “Cone of Silence” from the old Get Smart TV show at the end of each aisle so you can pull over and get the hell out of my way so I can shop in peace.

The grocery store should be treated in the same reverence that libraries and public bathrooms once held. Be quiet, do your business, and move on. The only positive change within the grocery store is now your can get an entire meal of samplers as you make your way through the store. I’ve noticed that that level of hospitality has not made it to the liquor lane as yet.