April 7 - Friday Funny - George Carlin

And now for your FRIDAY FUNNY. Two Friday’s ago, Heidi and I went to see George Carlin in Cincinnati. I’ve listened to him for years and always wanted to see him in person. Unfortunately, just before Christmas, George spent eight days in the hospital with heart issues. He has resumed touring, but I don't think he has fully recovered. He was still under the weather and did not deliver his “A Game” that night.

However out of respect to the legend, here is one of George’s classics (unedited and uncensored):

“In the the Bullshit Department, a businessman can't hold a candle to a clergyman. 'Cause I gotta tell you the truth, folks. When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told.
Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man -- living in the sky -- who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!
But He loves you.
He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!” -- George Carlin Politically Incorrect, May 29, 1997