July 26, 2008 - Vacation 2008

It’s time for the annual Griswold Family Vacation.

The Team Shirts have been designed, ordered, and are modeled below:

This year we are headed to New Hampshire to visit some friends we haven’t seen for 12 years. That was 3 kids ago. Surprise!!!!

Along the way we are conducting State Capitol tours, hitting the capitol cities of Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine.

There will be daily educational tests and quizzes on history and geography.

While I’m in New Hampshire, I’m going to launch my Presidential Exploratory Committee. I had blogged about these “exploratory endeavors” in January of 2007.

If you notice in the picture, I have the world clocks, a trombone, the “candidate thumb” and the Audacity of Optimism in my step. This was before my latest hamstring injury. The trombone helps me to connect to the commoner like Bill Clinton did with his saxophone. There are no official plans to add an intern to the campaign.

Our travels with also take us to Canada so that I can enhance my foreign policy skills. My closest thing to foreign travel since 9/11 has been a trip to Epcot.

Cheers to all and see you on August 11.

July 25, 2008 - Friday Funny - Feeling Pretty?

How did your week go?

July 21, 2008 - PPM - A Flood of Poor Press

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY concerns the biased media coverage of the IOWA FLOODS.

I watched the news coverage of the massive flooding in the Midwest including the devastation of the entire city of Cedar Rapids.

What amazed me is not what we saw, but what we didn't see:

We didn’t see looting.
We didn't see street violence.
We didn't see people sitting on their rooftops waiting for the government to come and save them.
We didn't see people ignoring evacuation orders.

We didn't see people blaming a government conspiracy to blow up the levees.
We didn't see the US Senators or the Governor of Iowa crying on TV.

We didn't see Hollywood organizing benefits to raise money for people to rebuild Cedar Rapids. Where were Sean Penn and the Dixie Chicks?

Why isn't the Federal Government relocating Iowa people to free hotels in Chicago?

When will we hear Iowa Governor Chet Culver say that he wants to rebuild a "vanilla" Iowa, because that's the way God wants it? (Mayor Ray Nagin)

Where are the people declaring that George Bush hates white, rural people?

How come its now a month later and no one is covering the Iowa flooding?

My PET PEEVE is about how no one in the media has the guts to acknowledge that TRUE RACISM is COLOR BLIND.

July 18, 2008- Friday Funny - The Moment Right Before...

Sometimes, you can sense impending pain, the moment right before something bad happens.

The following pictures illustrate my point.

Don't say, you weren't warned.

July 14, 2008 - PPM - I Want It NOW

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is about the people that continually state that there is no reason to drill for oil because it will be TEN YEARS before we get any production from those wells.

This week’s PEEVE concerns people that DO NOT ATTEMPT TASKS because of the potential time delay before the desired results are achieved.

What if there were no Surgeons because it takes 14 years of post-high school education and training?

What if Michelangelo had refused to paint the Sistine Chapel because it was going to take 33 years and require more than one coat of paint?

What if no one had children, because it takes 5-6 years before they say anything of consequence?

There is an old Project Management axiom, that one woman can have a baby in nine months, but nine women working together can not have produce a baby in one month.

People. Sometimes things take time. Thomas Edison tried 3000 different theories before inventing the incandescent light bulb. What if he had quit because it too hard?

We’ve become a society, desirous of quick fixes.

We want microwave dinner and instant coffee.

We want to take a pill to cure any and all of our ailments

We want quick, no-fault divorces. “No Fault”, come on, someone screwed up.

Life's not about not reading the book and buying the CliffsNotes in order to pass the test.

People were saying in 1996 that any drilling in the ANWR (Alaska National Wildlife Preserve) area would be pointless because it would take 10 years before we would have any additional domestic oil production. Well it is now 12 years later and we are in a worse position due to increased demand and reduced supply.

Who knows? Had Clinton not vetoed the ANWR drilling bill in 1996, gas prices would be definitely lower in 2008. Bush’s popularity would be, … OK, it would still be bad.

At any rate, we need be less lazy and more motivated. We need to be less intimidated by the possible time investment and consider the enormous impact of achieving the desired result.

Good, no GREAT things, come to those that work for it.

July 11, 2008- Friday Funny - Dog Days Ahead?

This week’s FRIDAY FUNNY was sent to me from a regular Jabberwocker. If anyone else has a PET PEEVE, a LOSER OF THE WEEK, a FRIDAY FUNNY or another submission, send me an email.

Have you ever heard that a dog "knows" when an earthquake is about to hit?

Have you ever heard that a dog can "sense" when a tornado is stirring up, even 100 miles away?

Before the Tsunami struck Southeast Asia a couple of years ago, dogs started running frantically away from the seashore.

Dogs have also been reported to smell out cancer in humans.

How many stories have you heard about dogs finding their way home from hundreds of miles away? I'm a firm believer that dogs have keen insights into the future.

Dogs can foresee a potentially terrible disaster well in advance.

Simply said, a dog just KNOWS when something isn't right, when impending doom is upon us.

A dog will always try to warn you!!!

July 10, 2008- Loser of the Week - Barack's Boys

This week’s LOSER OF THE WEEK has got to be Barack Obama.

When he was talking about CHANGE, I’m not sure he and the Reverend Jesse Jackson were on the same page.

Jackson told a confident (and the entire listening world) yesterday that he would cut off Barack’s “family jewels” because of their philosophical differences concerning a non-core election issue. The issue, itself, has been lost in the media hype.

As a religious scholar and ordained Reverend myself, (see April 28, 2008 blog), I can ony assume that The Reverend Jackson must have been quoting from the Book of Lorena (as in Bobbitt). The biblical reference of an “eye for an eye” from Exodus 21:23-27 is apparently not anatomically correct enough for THE Reverend Jackson.

I have previously blogged about THE Reverend Jesse Jackson in 2006, 2007 and earlier this year.

Barack has got be thinking, “With supporters like this, maybe I should only take public financing."

Was Barack looking to secure the emasculated, castrated, dis-engendered, American vote? He HAS been pandering to small demographics since he secured the democratic nomination.

While Jackson’s colorful phraseology is news, I would have thought that Hillary would have announced this political strategy years ago when dealing with her most ardent supporter, her husband.

At any rate, I think this is too large of a price to pay to be President. No wonder this year’s nominees are equally, less than attractive. The Mount Rushmore Reconstruction Project can take another prolonged holiday.

Barack Obama, you are my LOSER OF THE WEEK.

With supporters like Jesse Jackson, you won’t need supporters, athletic supporters that is.

July 7, 2008 -PPM - WiFi Resturants

Now that I’m back in front of a computer and able to drive a car, it’s time to get the blogging started.

This week’s Pet Peeve Monday (PPM) concerns ubiquitous Wi-Fi. Sure, it has it’s possibilities: trains, planes, airports. But do we really need it at restaurants and bars?

Just before my disabling surgery last month, I went to the local restaurant/bar to have an adult beverage and watch a ballgame. I don’t want to say the name of the establishment, but let’s just say everyday is Friday there.

To my amazement, three of the choice viewing bar stools and most of the bar area was consumed by 3 “Gamers” and their laptops.

They weren’t even ordering food, but sipping bottom-less glasses of Diet Coke. It can’t be good for business. The bartender said they had been going at it for 4 hours, without a bathroom break. Ouch!!!

They were playing some on-line version of Dungeons and Dragons or Mario Brothers. Somehow these individuals escaped from their mama’s basement to see the outside world. However, they weren’t even talking to each other. They were Instant Messaging. No need for socializing when you have a keyboard. They’ve eliminated the total need for human contact (except when requesting that 4th refill).

Here’s the thing. I’m already PEEVED about Waitress Who Give You Too Much Information About Themselves and People Who Use Cell Phones In Restaurants, now it’s overweight, anti-social, couch potato, game playing nerds taking over my “safety zone” where I used to be able to catch the game.

Restaurants are no longer places to relax and have a cold beverage. They’ve become places where I can play PET PEEVE BINGO.

If the TV Show Cheers were remade today, you would have to create a new character that was a morphing of Cliff and Norm. He would just take up 3 bar stools, 2 for him and one for his laptop. He wouldn’t have any lines on the show, just a snort and a chuckle each episode. He would drop dead one episode of hardening of the arteries or DVT. Since it was on Cheers, it would be ironic, because No One Would Know His Name.

Wi-Fi in Restaurants. Can’t we just eat, drink, and be merry?

Do we really need to surf the net for airfares or play online games when we are eating?

What’s next, Wi-Fi at funeral homes? I can already see the marketing tagline. “Stay connected until it’s time for the Final Log-off.”

As I always say to the Trekkies when I come across them in hotel lobbies.

GET A LIFE.