April 27 - Loser of the Week - Sheryl Crow

This week’s LOSER OF THE WEEK was a tough choice. So many LOSERS, only one can be chosen.

The easy choice was Rosie O’Donnell. She is a prime candidate EVERY week. Finally, she was let go by “The View.” However, with her NOT on TV every day, makes us the WINNERS OF THE YEAR.

A second nominee would have been George Tenet, ex-leader of the CIA. He wrote a tell-all book about life inside the CIA and White House. He could have been the LOSER. His book was slated for release this Monday, but it was leaked to the NY TIMES on Friday. Nice job, Mr. CIA.

This is a man that held the most secret of secrets for the greatest power in the world, yet he can’t protect his own book. I’m sorry, but there was a reason you were fired Mr. Tenet. You are an INCOMPETENT LOSER.

However, the LOSER OF THE WEEK is Sheryl Crow.

Ms. Crow decided to inject herself into the national spotlight this past week with the same energy as the Dixie Chicks.

First, Sheryl and her gal pal, global warming activist Laurie David, tried to ambush Karl Rove last weekend. Mr. Rove showed restraint when confronted by Davis and Crow at what was supposed to be a non-political dinner. The timing and tactics by David and Crow were wrong. The only people to comment and report on it were the usual suspects.

Second, Sheryl came out with her solution to Global Warming. She stated we should only use one square of toilet paper per bathroom use. No scientist, to their credit, has attempted to calculate what savings this could achieve. It is probably not worth the effort.

Why not propose that we also us the restroom in the dark? Wouldn’t that save the planet as well? Why not eliminate urinals and just let us go on trees? Or never mind, we do that. It’s called golf courses.

I finally figured out why Lance Armstrong broke up with Sheryl Crow. It was her poor personal hygiene.

Sheryl, you are NOT a LOSER because of your obtuse environmental beliefs. You are a LOSER because of the personal impact to me.

You see, Ms. Crow was on MY LIST. The LIST idea was created based upon the Friends TV series, Season 3, Episode 5.

Friends’ character, Ross was permitted a list of women he could “talk” to without his girlfriend getting upset.

Ross's "Freebie List" included: Uma Thurman, Winona Ryder, Elizabeth Hurley, Michelle Pfeiffer, Dorothy Hamill.

My LIST included Sheryl Crow until this past week.

By her actions and comments, Ms. Crow has been removed from MY LIST. This makes Sheryl Crow the LOSER OF THE WEEK by no longer being on MY LIST.

For the record, MY LIST now consists of:

Elizabeth Hurley
Paula Zahn
Gillian Anderson
Jennifer Connelly
Ann Coulter (replacing Sheryl Crow)

I’m not sure if that says a lot about my maturity or politics. However, Ann Coulter (on the far right), welcome to MY LIST.

April 25 - Where Are They Now? Wednesday - WKRP

This week’s WHERE ARE THEY NOW? WEDNESDAY (WATN) is dedicated to the cast of WKRP in Cincinnati. The first season of the show was released on DVD on April 24.

WKRP in Cincinnati (1978-1982) was a situation comedy on CBS based upon the misadventures of a fictional radio station.

It is one of my top five comedy shows of all times. I previously blogged about the TV show, NewsRadio, on a WATN blog on November 15, 2006.

WKRP was inspirational and prophetic for me.

If you sense a trend about radio shows, you are correct. I started and was the President of the first Radio Club at my High School in 1979. I had a show on WOUZ and WHIZ in 1979-1980 while still in high school. I might have pursued a career in the industry if I had not seen the pay stub of the head sportscaster at WHIZ.

He assured me that I shouldn’t worry. The folks in the “big” markets were pulling down twice as much. I thought “Wow.” I could live in a double–wide then. Try to ignore my flannel shirt in the photo. It was a very cold day in the studio that day.

So where is the cast from WKRP now?

The cast included (clockwise from front).

Howard Hesseman, 67 (Dr. Johnny Fever), guest-starred as a "Boston Legal" judge and on "House."

Loni Anderson, 61 (Jennifer Marlowe), appeared in seven episodes of Tori Spelling's "So NoTORIous" last year.

Richard Sanders, 66 (Les Nessman), continues to act and often re-creates the "turkey drop" near Thankgsiving for radio stations.

Frank Bonner, 65 (Herb Tarlek), has directed numerous sitcoms; appeared in the 2004 comedy film, "Shut Up and Kiss Me!"

Gary Sandy, 61 (Andy Travis), owns a farm near Louisville and appears in local theatre productions.

Jan Smithers, 57 (Bailey Quarters), has no TV credits since 1986, when she married actor James Brolin. They divorced in 1995. Bad move. He ended up with Barbara Streisand.

Gordon Jump (Arthur Carlson), was also known fo Maytag commercials, died in 2003 at age 71.

Tim Reid, 62 (Venus Flytrap), owns New Millennium Studios in Petersburg, VA. He had recurring roles on "Sister, Sister" and "That '70s Show."

So how can WKRP be inspirational and prophetic for me if I gave up on my radio announcer dream? I do live in Cincinnati.

April 23 - Pet Peeve Monday - Package Delivery Companies

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY has been bugging me since the last Holiday season. My PEEVE is that PACKAGE DELIVERY COMPANIES THINK THEY OWN THE ROAD.

I can’t find anywhere on the web where it says UPS, Fed-Ex, or DHL can stop traffic to deliver their goods.

They pull up to a house, but not into the driveway. They stop in the middle of the road. The driver hops out and takes their package to the door. Some times they ring the doorbell and wait for a response. Sometimes they ring the bell and run like an adolescent that has just left a fiery poop package on the doorsteps of Mr. Hunsacker of Zanesville, OH. (Just a theory, never really happened.)

Either way, they have stopped traffic for their own commercial means. Whenever I drop my kids off for a play date, I pull all the way into the driveway. Maybe I should just stop in the middle of the road, put on my flashers, take my kid to the porch, ring the doorbell and run. I know sometimes that would be better than having to make idle chit chat about how little Johnny is doing.

How can a company break the law because it helps their bottom line? Are they passing the profits onto us? I don’t use express overnight shipping companies. I plan ahead. Remember my motto, “No One Plans to Fail, They Just Fail To Plan.”

The second byproduct of the rudeness of the Ground Delivery Companies is that by stopping in the street they are creating possible traffic accidents. Because of the size of their trucks, you can’t also see around them as you attempt to pass the illegally double-parked vehicle.

The next time I hear the commercial,

“What can Brown Do For You?”

I’ve got an answer.

What can Brown do for me?

How about getting the hell out of my way and stop breaking the law.

April 20 - The Loser of the Week - Alec Baldwin

It’s time to start a new weekly Blog topic. I’m calling it LOSER OF THE WEEK.

My inaugural entry is ALEC BALDWIN.

Now maybe you don’t remember it, but Alec Baldwin said he move out of the U.S. in 2000 if George Bush was elected President. As it turns out, Bush was the only one that moved, as his new residence was the White House. That would make Baldwin look like a SORE LOSER.

Last year, in a story that didn’t get much play, Alec again showed his character. Amidst the chaos of the tragic plane crash in New York City on October 11, 2006, Baldwin tried to talk his way past a police cordon near the site.

The plane crash was that of Yankee pitcher Cory Lidle. Baldwin came across as an ARROGANT LOSER.

But what really cemented Baldwin’s being awarded LOSER OF THE WEEK was how he treated his daughter this past week.

An enraged Alec Baldwin unleashed a volcanic tirade of threats and insults on his daughter’s cell phone voice mail.

On the recording, Baldwin can be heard berating his young daughter, "You are a rude, thoughtless little pig. You don't have the brains or the decency as a human being," he says, apparently upset that she did not answer her phone for a planned call. He further says, "I don't give a damn that you're 12 years old, or 11 years old, or that you're a child, or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn't care about what you do as far as I'm concerned. You have humiliated me for the last time with this phone. I made an ass out of myself trying to make this call. You have insulted me for the last time. You've made me feel like a fool over and over and over again. I'm gonna straighten your ass out when I see you, do you understand me?"

You can listen to the full message here. You also can paste the below link into your browser:

http://www.aolcdn.com/tmz_audio/0419_baldwin.mp3

Congratulations, ALEC BALDWIN,
you are the LOSER OF THE WEEK.

April 19 - NBC, the Official Network of Homicidal Maniacs

I’m STILL PEEVED about how the news media covered the shootings at Virginia Tech.

The homicidal maniac (name withheld on purpose) mailed a package of videos, photos, and text to NBC.

NBC, showing their marketing genius, labeled the package a “Multimedia Manifesto.”

Instead of immediately calling the FBI, NBC made copies of DVD disc and 23 pages of a preformatted document file with text and photographs interspersed.

NBC committed a crime known as “EVIDENCE TAMPERING.”

Not to stop there, NBC showed many of the photos on its newscast. This served to vault NBC into the ratings lead. They were running #2.

The ratings for last night:
NBC NEWS 7.4 RATING/15 SHARE
ABC NEWS 6.2 RATING/12 SHARE
CBS NEWS 4.2 RATING/8.SHARE

NBC News President Steve Capus said last night, he faced a "tough call" in deciding how much of the information to air.

"We tried to be sensitive to the families involved and to the investigation," Capus said in an interview. While it is "possible" that some relatives of the 32 students shot to death Monday may say that the network is giving the killer the platform he wanted, "they also may say, 'We want to know why. We need to know what was in his head, what drove him to do this.' This is a portrait of a killer."

In some of the video, this killer even pays tribute to the Columbine killers.

Hey Mr. Network Exec why not leave the psychoanalysis to the experts. The September 11 calls from the airplanes were recorded between people who subsequently died were never made public. Relatives were permitted to hear the recordings in private. That was an example of decency.

This situation could have been handled the same way.

Some family members of the victims killed at Virginia Tech University canceled interviews with NBC on Thursday because the television network aired video and photographs of the killer it received in the mail. GOOD FOR YOU. I believe you could probably find a lawyer to sue NBC for CAUSING UNDUE EMOTIONAL DISTRESS.

Police handling the investigation into the shooting also expressed disappointment at the airing of the images and rants by of the homicidal maniac. They believe, as do I, that it may only lead to copycats.

Already today, a Florida teen was arrested for sending an email saying that he wanted “to beat the 32 deaths record.” His goal was 100.

Nice job NBC. The NBC president fired Don Imus from their farm team, MSNBC for causing emotional harm to the Rutgers Women's Basketball Team. I wonder who really was harmed the most? NICE DOUBLE STANDARD.

As I noted in yesterday’s blog, they are now known as:

NBC, the Official Network of Homicidal Maniacs, Everywhere.

April 16 - Pet Peeve Monday - Virginia Tech Tragedy

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY was delayed due to the continuing and developing story surrounding the horrific events at Virginia Tech on Monday.

The easy PEEVE would be to reiterate my opposition the Second Amendment. I previously blogged about this on July 17, 2006.

The NRA arguments would be that “well if everyone was armed, then they would have stopped him.” My argument is based on the obsolesce of the need for everyone to bear arms. It’s real simple. Think of the weapons available in 1788 and those that were available in 2007. The Second Amendment must be updated.

Monday was a tragedy, make no mistake about it.

It frightens me that we no longer have any safe place to go. You never know if it may be your last meal, errand, day on the job or day at school. There have been mass murders at the following locations:

McDonald’s -San Diego (1984)
Luby’s Cafeteria – Texas (1991)
The Good Guys – Sacramento (1991)
Grade Schools (Amish- 2006)
High Schools (Columbine –1999)
Colleges – Virginia Tech (2007)

There isn’t enough space to list all of the workplace shootings by disgruntled employees.

I lived less than 5 miles from the Sacramento incident when it occurred.

I would move to Montana to escape the risks, but the ATF would probably find a reason to attack.

My PEEVE is again THE MEDIA. On Monday, the first thing they had to do was to come up with a snappy graphic and title for the incident:

THE VIRGINA TECH MASSACRE
THE VIRGIANIA TECH KILLINGS
MASSACRE AT BLACKSBURG

CAMPUS KILLINGS

CNN was championing the fact that their posted student video taken during the attach had attracted 20,000, no 30,000, no 200,000 hits.

MSNBC thought it was necessary to run a constant scorecard at the bottom of the screen of the body counts of other mass murders. It then called it "Breaking News” when the VT tragedy passed the Ruby Cafeteria in total deaths.

Every network was interviewing eyewitnesses. FOX News asked each witness, “Did you see anyone get shot? Do you know anyone that got shot?”

To their credit, no witness would stoop to that level and bypass the necessary rules of notification of the next of kin. Shame on the “news” organizations for asking these type of questions. IS THERE NO DECENCY?

There is a huge vacuum in the media for a trustworthy, respected, conscientious outlet.

The media failed us with the overblown Anna Nicole coverage.

The media failed us with the Duke lacrosse case with a rush to judgment.

The media failed us last week with the Don Imus coverage. It’s too bad Imus picked a slow news week to utter his comments. If he had done so this past Monday, he would still be employed.

Finally on Wednesday, NBC was the recipient of the killer’s notes, pictures, and videos. How long will it be before NBC runs the tag line?

NBC,

the Official Network of Homicidal Maniacs, (pause) Everywhere.

April 12- Don Imus Update

Unbelievable.

MSNBC caved to pressure and fired Don Imus for what they deemed a “racial slur.”

My problem is this:

1. The comment wasn’t racial. It was sexist at worst.
2. The comment was made on a comedy show. Hello? Is it safe to laugh again?

In the big picture, it is insignificant because MSNBC is a distant third in the ratings to Fox News and CNN.

Also, who really watches a simulcast of a radio show? It actually shows someone talking into a microphone. When Imus would interview someone, they would show the still photo of the person being interviewed. Not really great TV viewing.

So the distant #3 network has decided to NOT show someone NOT doing something. Now that is news. At least MSNBC thought it was when they interrupted regular programming to announce that they would NOT be showing something that no one watched. Way to make yourself the news.

Don Imus should have called Al Sharpton a “a fat, race-baiting, snake oil salesman, with poor hair style choices." Who would have objected to that?

What is AMAZINGLY hypocritical is that Sharpton and Jackson proclaim themselves as Reverends and Christians. At last check, the Bible talks about redemption and forgiveness. However, it doesn’t make for good cable news theatre to be consistent with your supposed beliefs and faith.

That may explain the LONG FACE by Don Imus below. He actually looks very much like the lost father of Eric Stoltz from the 1985 movie, Mask.

Eric Stoltz is on the left, Don Imus on the right.

April 11 - Where Are They Now? Wednesday - Yankel Rosenbaum

This week’s WHERE ARE THEY NOW? WEDNESDAY is Yankel Rosenbaum. Who is Yankel Rosenbaum, you ask? I’ll get to that.

Last Wednesday, Don Imus made a comment about the Rutgers Women’s Basketball Team. He called them, “Nappy Headed Ho’s.”

I occasionally listen to Imus because he frequently has politicians or interesting guests. His irreverent questions make for interesting entertainment. He was Jon Stewart before Jon Stewart was given a stage.

As for the latest political correctness, media created event, Imus made an attempt at humor that failed. It went virtually unnoticed until Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson decided they hadn’t been in front of a camera in a while.

Here’s my question. Who appointed Sharpton and Jackson as the spokespersons for the African American community? What about Barack Obama or Colin Powell? They seem like reasonable role models. Or how about James Earl Jones? That is a voice that people could get behind.

I previously blogged about the Reverend Jesse Jackson on June 30, 2006.

In 2001, it was revealed that Jackson had an extramarital affair with a staffer Karin Stanford that resulted in the birth of their daughter, Ashley. According to CNN, in August of 1999, The Rainbow Push Coalition had paid Stanford $15,000 in moving expenses and $21,000 in payment for contracting work. It was unethical, if not illegal, to use charitable contributions to pay hush money to your lover or dare I say Ho.

In addition Rev. Jackson had referred to Jews as "Hymies" and to New York City as "Hymietown" in January 1984 during a conversation with Washington Post reporter, Milton Coleman.

As for Al Sharpton, there is the Tawana Brawley affair. In 1987, Tawana, a 15-year-old black girl, was found smeared with feces, lying in a garbage bag, her clothing torn and burned and with various slurs and epithets written on her body in charcoal. Brawley claimed that she had been assaulted and raped by six white men, some of them police officers, in the town of Wappingers Falls, New York.

Al Sharpton handled Brawley’s publicity. He stirred racial tensions by launching a full-fledged media circus. Sharpton claimed that the entire case was a coverup going all the way up to the state government. He named New York prosecutor Steven Pagones specifically, calling him a racist and a rapist, among other accusations.

A grand jury was convened; after seven months of examining police and medical records, the jury determined that Brawley lied about being assaulted by the police. Sharpton, was later successfully sued for statements made in connection with the case, and ordered to pay $345,000 in damages. The jury found Sharpton liable for making seven defamatory statements about Pagones.

Even though Brawley finally admitted it was all a hoax, Sharpton has never apologized to Pagones for naming him a perpetrator.

So you have two documented racists in Jackson and Sharpton trying to represent themselves as a higher moral authority.

What Imus said was wrong. But I’m not sure it was racist. Some of the Rutger’s basketball plyers were white.

Don Imus has called Rush Limbaugh a “fat, pill-popping loser.” He called Lesley Stahl a “gutless, lying weasel.” He hung up on Tucker Carlson and called him a “bow-tie-wearing pussy.” Don Imus has a pattern of name-calling. It doesn’t make him a racist

Unfortunately, Imus cannot pursue the same avenue of rehab afforded other recently pronounced racists: Michael Richards and Mel Gibson. Imus went to rehab in 1987 for cocaine and alcohol abuse. He has been clean for 20 years.

Interestingly, the Rutgers team held a press conference on Tuesday. One player said she was severely harmed by Imus’ statements and that she would never be able to get over it. Come on, you can’t tell me there isn’t “trash talking” in Basketball. The last time I was in NYC, I was subjected to worse verbal abuse on the subway. I’ll bet she’ll get over it when her lawyer extorts blood money for her pain and suffering from Imus.

So back to my question, who is Yankel Rosenbaum?

In 1991, Al Sharpton ignited a four-day riot in Crown Heights, NY. It was prompted by the accidental death of a young African American, Gavin Cato, who was struck by a funeral motorcade for a prominent Jewish rabbi.

Al Sharpton became the de-facto representative for the Cato family. During the funeral he referred to "diamond merchants" considered a code word for Hasidic Jews, for shedding "the blood of innocent babies" leading marchers shouting "No Justice No Peace.” Sharpton lit the proverbial match to start the riots by inflaming the tension between the black and Jewish communities. A visiting rabbinical student from Australia by the name of Yankel Rosenbaum, 29 years old, was killed during the rioting by a mob shouting "Kill the Jew.”

So Yankel Rosenbaum is the collateral damage brought on by Al Sharpton’s rhetoric. Don Imus’ langauge may have caused harm, but no one died.

Who’s the racist, Don Imus or Al Sharpton?

Who thought Michael Jackson would be the least controversial person in this photo?

April 10 - I AM Your Father

It was announced today that Larry Birkhead is the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby.

Hopefully this will bring some closure and the media can move on to move pressing things like Don Imus using the “H” word.

The Anna Nicole coverage was the subject of my February 12, 2007 PET PEEVE. I additionally update my spin on the spectacle on February 16 when two additional daddies were announced. At final count there were seven people claiming they had fathered this child.

I had laid odds on the parentage. Larry Birkhead was my odds on favorite. Why can't I pick race horse winnings with as much certanity?

April 9 - Pet Peeve Monday - Baseball Scheduler

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY goes out to Katy Feeney. Ms. Feeney is the official scheduler for Major League Baseball. She does it by hand, without a computer, and apparently without a weather map.

This past week there were home games scheduled at:

* Washington (30 degrees)
* Chicago WS (32 degrees)
* Colorado (snow)
* Philadelphia (40 degrees)
* Cincinnati (snow flurries)
* Cleveland (snow)
* New York (33 degrees)

Meanwhile the following warm weather teams played away from their favorable climates:

* San Diego Padres
* Florida Marlins
* Los Angeles Dodgers
* Arizona Diamondbacks
* Oakland A’s
* Texas Rangers
* Tampa Bay Devil Rays
* Atlanta Braves
* Minnesota Twins (dome)

The Cleveland series with Seattle resulted in a all four games being postponed. The games SHOULD have been scheduled to be played in Seattle. They have a retractable roof on their field.

It is not that HARD to schedule games. It is not that HARD to know that it snows in April in Cleveland. It is HARD to believe that they still use an antiquated method to schedule ALL of Major League Baseball games.

When I think of Katy Feeney, I think of Ms. Gracie, the High School secretary from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Edie McClurg played Ms. Gracie. Ms. Gracie was probably on top of her game at some point, but time and skills had passed her by. That was the point of her role in the movie. The same can be said of Ms. Feeney.

Katy, Don’t Bar the Door, go through the door on your way to retirement. Let someone that has a concept of weather, computers, and stadium availability, and stadium capabilities (i.e. roofs) take over.

Cleveland - Opening Week

April 6 - Friday Funny - Bad Easter Rabbit

This video reminds me of a certain Easter in Zanesville, Ohio when my cousin and I were accosted by a six foot rabid rabbit.


watch video

April 5 - I'm Baaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!

I’m back from a true vacation.

My batteries were not only recharged, they were TOTALLY replaced. Typical golf vacations are hectic with trying to squeeze 36 holes in between hurried dinners and drinks. I usually need a few real days of rest when I return from a golf trip.

This year, I took a day off from the links. When asked by my other golf buddies as to what I was going to do all day. I quoted Pulp Fiction’s Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson). Jules was the hitman who decided to retire. When asked what he was going to do he repled, he will,

"Walk the Earth."

I walked the beach, had a relaxing lunch, wrote a few future blogs, enjoyed the view, and sipped a few cocktails.

Now, I’m Back, Tanned, Rested, and Ready to Blog. I'm also going to "Walk the Earth" as often as possible.