February 16 - Friday Funny - All My Daddies

This week’s FRIDAY FUNNY is the continuing saga about the paternity of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby. This is much better than any story line they could write for Erica Kane on “All My Children.” This should be titled “All My Daddies.”

My PET PEEVE MONDAY this past week was about the Anna Nicole Smith coverage.

At the time there were four gentlemen (?) that claimed they were the father of Anna Nicole’s baby. I suggested the smart money would be placed on “The Field.” It means that there were probably more possibilities out there.

Surprise, Surprise. There have be two more candidates come forward. That brings to SIX, the proclaimed fathers of this child. There are almost more people in the hunt than are running for the Democratic nomination.

If Bill Clinton was eligible to be President, he could win the daily double here.

Where is Hugh Hefner? He has got to have a play in the paternity game.

It sounds like Anna Nicole had more action than most Jackie Chan movies.

The latest entry to play the Wheel of Paternity Misfortune is Mark "Hollywood" Hatten (at right)

He claims he "willfully gave a sperm sample to then girlfriend Anna Nicole Smith, which she gave to a doctor for future use. He writes, "I allege that I could be the father of Dannielynn by means of artificial insemanation (sic)."

Why does he write? Because, he is in prison. Hatten, who is currently serving a seven-year sentence in Pleasant Valley State Prison, had a brief relationship with Smith in 2000. Cops believe Hatten began stalking Smith soon after their relationship fizzled. Hatten, who tattooed himself with Smith's likeness (looks like it was fat- Anna), was also convicted of beating up Anna's neighbor.

Pleasant Valley State Prison sounds like a Monkees-Johnny Cash crossover song.

In a related matter, Britney Spears was quietly sworn in as the “Next Bleached Blond Bimbo Train Wreck.” She was unavailable for comment and she does not remember and has checked into rehab. At some point, Britney found time to get a nice haircut.

Editors Note: Be careful if you try a Boolean search for “Britney Spears bald” into your Internet search engine.