April 29, 2009 - Pandemic Hysteria

This PET PEEVE could not wait till Monday.

This week we are experiencing a pandemic of Herculean proportions. I’m not talking about the Swine Flu. I’m talking about the media’s coverage of the Swine Flu.

Let’s put the Swine Flu into perspective and stop the hyperbole.

Some estimates put the Spanish Flu of 1918-1920 death toll at 100 million. In the modern era, the Hong Kong Flu of 1968-1969 may have claimed one million lives.

While every death is tragic, the 2009 Swine Flu has killed approximately 150 people as of today. The news reports are claiming one US fatality. However that death (again, while heartbreaking) was actually a Mexican National visiting the U.S.

According to the web, on average, 36,000 Americans die from flu-like symptoms each year. Since January 2009, the U.S. Center for Disease Control (CDC) reports that 13,000 Americans have died from the seasonal flu, none from the swine flu.

Yet, Media reports are telling people to stock up on three weeks of living supplies in case of a national quarantine. If this were the bird flu, I would call them “Chicken Littles.”

Some people have stopped eating pork because they think they may catch the Swine Flu. As an overweight nation, we should all hope for an outbreak of the Twinkie Flu. Obviously, this child is not concerned about catching the Swine Flu.

Amazon is offering “A Swine Flu Pandemic First Aid and Safety Kit.” The kit includes Respirator Masks, Safety Goggles, Disposable White Coveralls with elastic hood, wrist, and boot s, High risk Nitryl Gloves, Insta-Clean Hand sanitizer, Antimicrobial hand wipes, Alcohol Prep Wipes, Blue Elasticized Shoe covers, and Blue Elasticized Head Caps.

Ironically, it is the same kit I used when I started changing diapers 10 years ago.

The media is nothing but fear mongering and trying to CREATE the news rather than to report it.

April 27, 2009 - PPM -Sticker Ads

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is ADVERTISEMENTS, more specifically NEWSPAPER STICKER ADS.

It all started with telemarketers’ relentless calls. They always phoned during dinnertime hawking something you didn’t want or need. These nuisances were mostly eliminated by the introduction of the “DO NOT CALL” registry. It was probably the most desired legislation to come out of Washington in the last 10 years.

Next it was the SPAMMERS. They clogged the inboxes of every email account with their messages and offers from IRS help to weight loss programs. They are hawking products from Cialis to Snuggles. I want to email the folks at Cialis and ask them, “What is the deal with the nonfunctional bath tubs on a beach?” but I’m sure it would only add more unwanted messages to my Spam folder.

Thankfully, email providers have come up with Spam Filters and Pop-Up Blockers to reduce unwanted content on your PC.

The latest ADVERTISING GIMMICK is the front-page sticker ads on my newspaper.

Not satisfied with ads on EVERY page of the paper causing single news stories to be started on page A1, continued on page A8 and completed on page A16, these papers now paste a STICKER AD on top of the headline above the fold on page one.

Now readers must carefully excise the irritant, making sure not to rip the copy in the process.

Can’t I just read the news without having to ponder another career choice?

Is someone really going to suddenly realize, “Wow, I can go to night school and become a nurse?”

Do you really want your next hospital stay managed by someone not nimble enough to peel the adhesive off the paper? Their inability to get the sticky label off of the newsprint doesn’t bode well when the remove that Band-Aid or the tape around your IV. Talk about a hair pulling experiences.

OUCH!!!

April 24, 2009 - Friday Funny - Rules To Live By

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY comes from Adrienne in New Hampshire:

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE

1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and w ho likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

April 24, 2009 - Loser of the Week- Mel Kiper

This week’s LOSER OF THE WEEK is Mel Kiper.

Kiper is the ESPN hired hand on pro footballs draft day.

He is a lot like Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog. He comes out once a year, he makes his predictions, and he is usually wrong.

Kiper talks about the potential draft picks as if they stocks or commodities. He denigrates 18-21 year old kids with NO concern that they may be watching his assessment.

It is nice that he has developed a niche market for himself, but he should alter his vitriol comments. Maybe a little more time with Dale Carnegie and a little else time at the Hair Club for Men would be appropriate.

Mel “Groundhog” Kiper, you are my LOSER OF THE WEEK.

April 17, 2009 - Friday Funny - Oops!!!

Things that make you say Oh Crap!!!

April 15, 2009 - Inspiring Video

In case you were really down because it is April 15 - TAX DAY, I found this great, inspirational video on YouTube. It features Susan Boyle, a contestant on Britains Got Talent, the UK version of American Idol.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY&feature=bz303

YouTube has turned off embedding, but you can access by clicking on this link.

I don't watch reality shows, ever. However, this clip is worth viewing.

It's true that everyone should chase their dreams.

April 13, 2009 - PPM - Obama's Dog

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is about President Obama’s Dog Selection.

I’m not peeved that the press is providing 7*24 coverage of A dog. Tragically it’s not about THAT dog that saved Timmy from the well.

My PEEVE is that no one is covering the fact that Barack has again broken another campaign promise.

I guess it was OK that Barack said that no lobbyist would serve in his administration and then he hired over 2-dozen ex-lobbyists.

I guess it was a syntax error when Obama said he wouldn’t raise ANY tax on the middle class, yet he increased the tax on tobacco by almost 200%

I guess it was an oversight that Barack stated that his administration would be the most ethical ever and then he nominated tax cheats and probable felons to key positions. The irony is that these positions are responsible for convicting tax cheats. The fox is never too close to the hen house, I guess.

My PEEVE is that Barack stated that the first dog would be a mutt (like him –his words, not mine) and that the dog would be selected from a shelter.

This week, CNN broke the news that Obama had been presented a specially bred dog from the Royal Kennedy family. Sorry, shelter dogs and mutts, you never had a chance.

Not one news organization visited the local shelters to interview the jilted mutts. It is as if the “Island of Misfit Toys”, err dogs, was flown over by the Grinch of Presidential Pets. (I purposely mixed my Christmas Stories for effect)

The bottom line is that it is not about pets. Obama has shown a continued pattern of saying one thing and doing another.

Most licensed psychologists; Dr. Phil need not apply, would diagnose Obama as a “serial liar.” Additionally, Oprah would probably invite Obama to sit on her couch along side James Frey to compare their notes.

Obama’s campaign promises have gone to the dogs, literally.

For my money, here is my Presidential Dog.

April 13, 2009 - Leave of Absence

Jabberwockers:

I apologize for the lack of posts the last 2 weeks. There was a disturbance in "The Force" as there was a death in the family.

The passing of my Father-In-Law lead to some Pet Peeves as well as some Friday Funnies.

The Pet Peeves will be fully addressed in the coming weeks. Here are the funnies:

When I shared with some, that my 96 year-old old Father-in-Law had died, several people inquired about how he died.

Not one to let a stupid question go unpunished, I replied:

"His chute didn't open."

"He hit a tree while snowboarding."

"He went on pleasure ride with Ted Kennedy."

You get the point.

Ninety-six is a pretty good track record. Sometimes we get old and that's that.

Steven Wright once said that he knows when he is going to die because his birth certificate has an expiration date. There you go.

March 31, 2009 - Year 4 Begins

This week marks the 3-year anniversary of Jay’s Jabberwocky. My first post was on March 28, 2006.

Between then and now there have been 450 posts and countless comments.

In January, I was asked to provide a blog for the local paper. It is called Jay’s Jabberwocky-Lite. It is catered more toward local issues. It has had several comments from non-Jabberwockers that do not have their computer screen set for a sarcasm resolution.

Stay tuned for some new topics in Year 4. I hear that Star Jones is on Oprah today. That is what I call a target rich environment …. for blog material.