October 27, 2008- PPM - Election Polls

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is about ELECTION POLLS.

I have a serious problem with Political Polls. It seems that the "all-news" channels report on the latest polls more often than the Stock Market’s gyrations.

Depending on the day, the hour, the poll, and the lunar position of the moon, Obama leads McCain by 2 to 25 points.

POLLS ARE HISTORICALLY INACCURATE. Does anyone remember President Dewey or President Gore? The polls had these individuals winning their elections. Exit polls had Kerry winning in 2004.

I’ve been a property owning, tax paying, and active voter since 1980. The only poll that I’ve ever been subjected to was Coke versus Pepsi. I answered Dr. Pepper, so that may have placed me on a “Do Not Poll” list. No one has EVER asked me which candidate I supported.

A.C. Nielsen asked me about my TV viewing habits until I told them I had 17 TVs in my house. They asked me why, and I responded, BECAUSE I CAN. Nielsen no longer surveys me. I'm sure Obama has a "TV Redistribution" plan for me.

I would have liked to have seen a poll during the Primary that asked, “Are you voting for Obama and not Clinton because you are Sexist?” or “Did you vote for Clinton instead of Obama because you are racist?”

In early US elections a poll tax was invoked. Only people who could demonstrate a financial tie to a community were permitted to vote in that community. The thought was only people with property who had a vested position in the direction of the country could vote. NOT A BAD IDEA.

Many states, like Indiana, do not allow alcohol sales while the election booths are open. The idea is based in the fact that people should be coherent when voting for the representatives that will lead their country. Today we have “Community Organizers” that routinely round up homeless people to transport them to the voting booth. They have traded their vote in return for a drink.

You need a license to drive; maybe you should have a “REALITY CARD” in order to vote. Past polls have indicated:

- 6% still think Elvis is alive (2002 Fox Poll)

- 24% believe in UFOs (2004 Fox Poll)

- 6% believe moon landing was a hoax (1999 Gallup poll)

- 24% believe in Witches (2004 Fox Poll)

This year’s Election Polls are as inaccurate as they have always been. The only problem is they may suppress votes, because people WON’T vote, if they think their vote doesn’t matter. Just ask the western candidates that lost close races, when the networks called Presidential races BEFORE all of the local voting was completed.

I’ve never liked polls. I had previously blogged about People Who Want to Manage Complex Situations by Popular Opinion Polls. It was based on the fact that 90% of the "Polled” people were against "The Surge.” Wow, people were against further US military deaths.

In summary, MY PET PEEVE is the ENDLESS REPORTING on ELECTION POLLS that have HISTORICALLY BEEN INACCURATE.

The Polls indicate that people want CHANGE. Great, but undefined CHANGE or DIRECTION is dangerous.

I always remember the time I went on a road trip with a friend to Chicago. This was before GPS and we were obviously lost. I asked him, “Do you know where we are going?”

He responded, “NO, but we are making great time!!!”

Enough said.

I know if a POLL is taken on November 5th, EVERYONE will be glad THIS election is over.

October 24, 2008 - Friday Funny - Helmet Laws?

Insert your own caption.

October 21, 2008 - New Business Venture

As I mentioned in my last PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM), I had some down time recently in Florida. While lounging about the pool I was shocked to see many young women with tattoos on their lower back. These tattoos are also known as Tramp Stamps.

I previously blogged about this affliction last summer. I coined a term, METS, Mothers Exhibiting Tramp Stamps.

It appears the desire to ink one’s lower back has reached epidemic proportions. It is striking at younger and younger females. It is almost deserving of a telethon: paging Billy Ray Cyrus.

Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines will commission a ship in 2009 that will have an on-board tattoo parlor. Gosh, what a great combination: unlimited alcohol, no curfew, no designated driver or voice of reason, AND a tattoo parlor with direct billing to your cabin.

While discussing this topic with other pool patrons, I came up with the idea of a new game. We have all played other travel games like “Slug Bug”, “I Spy”, and “License Plate Bingo”. Why not combine the best of those games in a new entertaining game, wait for it, wait for it, …

TRAMP STAMP BINGO

The basic rules would be that you have 9 spaces. The first person to call out a Tramp Stamp (TS) gets credit, but another player must confirm it. You can play Full Card Bingo, Four Corner Bingo, or basic Tic-Tac-Toe Bingo.

I’ve designed the initial prototype of the Tramp Stamp Bingo Card below:

Starting at the top left corner and moving clockwise you have:

- A Cartoon Character
- A Man’s Name
- A Foreign Language Phrase (Latin is preferred)
- A Corporate Advertisement
- A Religious Symbol
- A Butterfly
- A Woman’s Name (You also get ANY other square as a BONUS)
- A Rose or Other Flower

While still at the pool, I ran my idea past my fully clothed bar waitress. She immediately spun around lifted her top and displayed her own Tramp Stamp. She exclaimed, “You have to include dragons!!!" I’m sure Milton Bradley experienced the same inspiration.

From additional research, I’ve determined that other TS Bingo cards should not only have Dragons, but Angels, Barbed Wire, and regional symbols like Buckeye Leaves.

I still believe that a profitable 2015 business will be a “Tattoo Removal Service”. Maybe I could open franchisees on Cruise Ships.

If I were a Tattooist or Inkster, I would design tattoos that could easily be morphed into birthmarks. I’ve heard where one person covered over a Male-named tattoo with a Rose tattoo. However a Rose (tattoo) is still a Rose (tattoo).

I’m still in the Research and Design phase. I’m sure the IRS will approve the business expense deduction.

At any rate, please look for Tramp Stamp Bingo to be the “must have” game for Christmas 2009. If that doesn’t work out, I’ll be selling the film rights to Cinemax.

October 20, 2008 - PPM - Destination Weddings

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is about DESTINATION WEDDINGS.

The PEEVE comes courtesy of BIG AL from Chicago.

Last week, I attended a business conference in Florida with my wife as the “Trophy Spouse.” THE Ohio State University football team was playing and I decided to watch the game with some new found OSU converts at the hotel bar. (We were enjoying an all-expense paid trip, so these “converts” would have rooted for the Sisters of the Poor as long as they didn’t have to pay.)

The game started at 3:30 and all was well. About 4 p.m., bridesmaids, groomsmen, family and friends began to file into the bar. A wedding was scheduled for 6 p.m. on the Beach just outside the hotel bar. This is when I met Big Al from Chicago.

Big Al was about 55, stood 6 foot 4, and tipped the scales just shy of 300 pounds. Big Al was the Bride’s Uncle. When Big Al had a PEEVE, people noticed. He was upset for the following reasons:

- The Wedding was on a Football Saturday
- The wedding was NOT an “Open Bar”.
- The wedding was a “Destination Wedding”.

For the uninformed, a “Designation Wedding” is when the event is held in a city where NONE of the key parties live. That’s right, EVERYONE must incur travel charges to attend the wedding. Forget the exorbitant cost of a bridesmaid dress. Now, you can add in airfare, hotel and car rental charges.

When I lived in California, I was invited to several “House Party Weddings". This was where the new couple would register at Bank of America rather than Macy’s.

If you are from Michigan, they may be called "Trailer Party Weddings". Just substitute Check N’ Go and Wal-Mart. Below is a picture from a Michigan - Trailer Park Wedding.

The idea would be that the monies usually spent of frivolous marriage gift like blenders and toasters would be deposited into a bank account and used for house down payments. This was long before mortgage lenders decide that putting money down for a house purchase was unnecessary.

I thought House Party Weddings were tactless until I listened to Big Al.

Al’s argument is extremely valid. How selfish do you have to be to plan a “Destination Wedding”? To add insult to injury, the wedding started at 6:10 and was over by 6:30.

No one has spent so much money for a good time that lasted less than 30 minutes since Eliot Spitzer.

Isn’t your wedding a day to be ENJOYED by your friends and relatives? What if they cannot afford to attend the Destination Wedding?

My question is where do you go for your honeymoon after you already went to an exotic location for your wedding?

BIG AL, thanks for the PEEVE.

October 17, 2008 - Friday Funny Mullet

People always say that fashions and hair styles are cyclical. They will always come back.

Let's hope "The Mullet" breaks that trend.

October 15, 2008 - International Blog Action Day - Poverty

Today is International BLOG ACTION DAY to stop Poverty. I’m not sure what that means, but I guess I’m supposed to do my part to stop POVERTY.

Well, I could do my part by voting for Barack Obama. He will institute “WEALTH REDISTIBUTION”, thus making us all equal and eliminating poverty.

Unfortunately, I have problems will Barack’s plan. I firmly believe that if everyone started over with the same amount of money and same chance in life, that in five or ten years the stratification of the classes would appear again. The same people that are poor today would make up a large percentage of the poor tomorrow.

It’s a matter of education, drive, and discipline. A prime example was the mismanagement of the “TAX REBATE” or stimulus checks some people received earlier this year. Go back and read my blog about this issue and explain to me how I was wrong in my prediction. China was the only one that got a good deal out of this "Stimulus Package”. Now the Congressional leaders, Pelosi and Reid, want to provide ANOTHER welfare check.

Growing up, I was no stranger to poverty. I spent more time in trailer parks than Midwest tornados.

I didn’t survive poverty because of an international call to arms about the issue. I overcame it because of a strong support system from my family and an individual drive to succeed.

The time for personal responsibility is long overdue. Enough with the government bailouts, handouts, and political rhetoric, including CLASS WARFARE.

That is my BLOG about Poverty. I apologize if you wanted something with a more “bleeding heart” angle. Besides, does anyone really remember the words to “Kumbaya”?

October 10, 2008 - Friday Funny - Gas Prices

Oil prices sank to a 12 month low today.

October 6. 2008 - PPM - Debatable Importance

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is about DEBATES.

I wrote an OP-Ed piece for the local paper that was published last Thursday, the day of the VP Debate between Joe Biden and Sarah Palin.

My main point was that debates are over rated and over analyzed. They are an useless tool for measuring the aptitude of a candidate’s ability to be an effective leader.

Additionally, because of Gwen Ifill’s conflict of interest, moderators, newscasters, and pundits should be required to state their political affiliation, past voting record, and to whom they support in the current race, before “reporting” the news.

Because of all the last minute coverage afforded to Ifill’s extracurricular activities, I think Ifill played it straight down the middle. It’s a shame that Charlie Gibson and Katie Couric could not.

Below is my editorial submission. To read the full text of the article, click on this link.

The headline provided by the newspaper, does not reflect the message of the Op-Ed piece. They buried the lead, I did not. (Sounds like a future PEEVE).

At any rate, it’s a shame that a large portion of our short attention span society would weight their vote on a insignificant event like a televised debate.

October 3, 2008 - Friday Funny - The Bunguls

This week’s FRIDAY FUNNY happened last Sunday.

I was provided two free tickets to “The Battle For Ohio” football game. The Cleveland Browns (0-3) were visiting the Cincinnati Bengals (0-3).

I would never pay to see the Bunguls.

The Bengals played so bad that my son and I, along with many of the fans left in the in the fourth quarter.

What was hilarious was that some VENDORS actually left before we did.


It would be sad, if it wasn’t so FUNNY.

September 29, 2008 - PPM - Candidate Commitment

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) concerns the current presidential Candidate’s LACK OF COMMITMENT.

Neither Senator Obama nor McCain has resigned his current Senate seat in his attempt to win the Presidency. They are hedging their bets.

It’s like a person that is engaged to be married, renewing their eHarmony membership.

In 1996, Republican Bob Dole had my admiration (and support) when he gave up his high-ranking Senate position to focus on his Presidential bid. He proved he was a stand-up guy before he became the pitchman for Viagra.

In 2000, Joe Lieberman actually ran two campaigns. While accepting the VP spot for Al Gore, he also ran a successful Connecticut senatorial campaign. He had as much faith in Al Gore’s chances as did Al Gore’s home TN district (which he failed to carry).

In 2004, Democratic Presidential candidate John Kerry also did not give up his incumbency. His running mate, North Carolina Senator John Edwards, was up for Senatorial re-election in 2004, but decided not to run. He decided that if he lost, he would just focus on family issues and do charity work with unwed mothers.

I have a hard time showing a commitment to any of the candidates this year. They haven’t shown a commitment to me by going “all in”.

I think candidates that fail to commit, SHOULD BE COMMITTED.