Friday, August 22, 2014

Aug. 22, 2014 - FF - Boys will be Boys

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY is brought to you by Little League.

Every year, ESPN broadcasts the Little League World Series.  The media fawns over 12 year old kids and puts them in a limelight for a brief moment.  Some do go onto special things in baseball: Lloyd McClendon and Todd Frazier.

This year, you had to be inspired by the goals of Texas player Clayton Broeder.


Dare to Dream, young man. Dare to Dream.

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Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Aug. 19, 2014 - Happy Birthday Bill Clinton

Bill Clinton turns 68 on this date.

So many jokes, so little time:


Given our current President's performance, I miss Bill.

Monday, August 18, 2014

Aug. 18, 2014 - PPM - Uninformed Electorate

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is Voter's Remorse. 

This PPM was also posted on the  Political Prospect web site. 

Several recent polls suggest that if the 2012 election were held today, Mitt Romney would beat Barack Obama by a double-digit percentage.  The nation as a majority now has Buyer’s Remorse.


More shocking is that given the alphabet soup of scandals: IRS, NSA, VA, CIA, EPA, etc., over 40% would vote for Obama, AGAIN!

The same polls that have Romney now beating Obama also suggest that Hillary Clinton would beat Romney in a 2016 match-up.  Have we learned NOTHING?

Former Secretary of State Clinton SHOULD be forever tied to the Obama foreign policy failures: Syria, Iran, Egypt, Russia, and of course Libya.  What are Hillary’s qualifications to be President?

Mitt Romney’s campaign quotes and projections are prophetic when it comes to world affairs. His assessment of Russia as the U.S.’s largest geopolitical threat was laughed off and dismissed by Obama, and by most of the press.  While Obama is golfing, Putin is laughing all the way to Kiev. 

Democrat Edwin Edwards famously said in his 1983 campaign to be Louisiana’s Governor, "The only way I can lose this election is if I'm caught in bed with either a dead girl or a live boy."

Edwards was right in both cases when you consider Ted Kennedy’s Kennebunkport driving skills and Barney Frank’s MySpace profile.
Americans are forgetful, forgiving, and uninformed when it comes to elections.

Given our collective regret, maybe the American electorate should put more consideration and thought into pulling the lever at the next election.

The US Constitution, Section 2, Article I, states:

“Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons.”

That now sounds like a possible Common Core math question.
By some estimates, less than 5% of the population were eligible to vote in the election of 1800.  Yet, our republic survived and prospered.

The ability to vote has changed since we first initially established our electoral process.  The US Constitution was modified over time to be more inclusive.  The following three amendments were commendable and much needed changes, no doubt.

The 15th Amendment was ratified in 1870.  It said that no citizen's vote could be taken away because of his race or color and gave all prior slaves a vote.

The 19th amendment was ratified in 1920.  It guaranteed all women the right to vote.

The 26th Amendment was ratified in 1971.  It lowered the voting age from 21 to 18.

States have continually made voting more convenient: extending poll times and days, offering mail-in ballots, same-day voter registration, and allowing people to vote fraudulently without ID.

But as we increased the voting pool and accessibility, participation rates have not topped 60% since 1968.

Maybe we need to reassess who should have the right to vote:  I would suggest a simple civics, means, and participation test.

Civics:  Currently, to become a new US Citizen, you must only pass the 10 question naturalization test with a 60% efficiency about how the US government functions. The fact that 60% is a flunking score in most schools aside, I would be happy with a 50% threshold for all EXISTING US citizens.

Means:  A simple “Yes” or “No” for this question.  Have you put more into the US treasury system than you have withdrawn?   We are precariously close to more people taking money out of the system than contributing.

According to the USDA website, Food Stamp participation has increased from 28M to almost 48M during the Obama Administration.  Per the Social Security Administration, when Obama took office, there were over 7.4 million workers on disability. That number has grown by 20% by October of 2013 to 8.9 million.

Benjamin Franklin famously stated, “When the people find that they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic.” Maybe our Founding Fathers had it right.

Participation:  If you have not voted in any of the past 5 annual elections, you must reapply and pass the means and civics thresholds.  Voting may be a right, but you forfeit that “right” if not used.

Even with all of the inclusive voting amendments and conveniences, voters have never been more apathetic and uninformed.  The voters’ cognition of the issues has been diminished by constant, negative political ad barrages.

It has become obvious with the current historically low approval ratings of our President and Congress, that our voting process is flawed.  Voting eligibility has been changed before.  Who will have intestinal fortitude and moral compass to correct it now?

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Friday, August 08, 2014

Aug. 8, 2014- Friday Funny - No ID-ea President

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY comes from a high school friend.

President Obama walks into a local bank in Chicago to cash a check. He is surrounded by Secret Service agents. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning Ma'am, could you please cash this check for me?"

Cashier: "It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?"

Obama: "Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am President Barack Obama, the President of the United States of AMERICA !!!!"

Cashier: "Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of 9/11, impostors, forgers, money laundering, and bad mortgage underwriting not to mention requirements of the Dodd/Frank legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."

Obama: “Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."

Cashier: "I am sorry Mr. President but these are the bank rules and I must follow them.  Look Mr. President, here is an example of what we can do. 

One day, Tiger Woods came into one of our bank branches without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a coffee cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his check.

“Another time, Andre Agassi came into the same place without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot where as the tennis ball landed in a coffee cup. With that shot we cashed his check.

So, Mr. President, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, as the President of the United States?"

Obama stands there thinking, and thinking, and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank...there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do and I don’t have a clue.”

Cashier: "Will that be large or small bills, Mr. President?

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Monday, August 04, 2014

Aug. 4, 2014 - PPM - FitBit Status

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is the current trend of posting your FitBit status on Social Media.

FitBit is an electronic monitoring device that can track your daily steps and activity. It can also track your sleep, meals, liquid intake, and weight.

I propose that it is not about the high quantity of steps, but about the efficiency.

While on vacation, I walked from my bed to my beach chair. A total of 274 steps. 


On the beach, I had no motivation to move. Since I had my book, my beverages, and my music, I only needed 2 trips into the ocean for "Relief."  

I easily kept my daily step total under 1000 steps.The lesson is that with advance planning and with the possible use of "Astronaut Diapers", I could easily keep the daily total under 600 steps in the future.

As I have often said, "No one plans to fail, we only fail to plan."


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Friday, August 01, 2014

Aug. 1, 2014 - Friday Funny - Common Core

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY is a "Tongue In Cheek" joke about the new incoming Common Core education program.

This would be my response to the proposed math question.


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