Sept. 25, 2009- Friday Funny - The People of Walmart

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY comes from a Jabberwocker in Kentucky. I corrected the spelling and grammar.

These are the actual PEOPLE OF WALMART.

Those shoes are not blue, nor are they suede.

“What are you wearing sexy?” -Cowboy boots. “Ya, that’s hot.” – Pink velour pants.

“Ya I like that.” – a little green baby girl hoodie. “Oh damn, that sounds sexy.”

– and I kinda look like Gallagher. “Oh ya…wait…what?”

No, honey, it’s an ancient Egyptian symbol of prosperity, I swear!

WTF?

You can provide your own caption for this one.

Sept. 18, 2009 - Friday Funny - Pass At Your Own Risk

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY comes from a Jabberwocker in Michigan.


It is the World's Scariest License Plate.





If you did decide to pass her, flashing your lights or honking your horn would be ill advised.

Sept. 16, 2009 - Jimmy Carter - WATN- or LOSER

This post meets at the intersection of Where Are They Now? Wednesday (WATN) and the Loser of the Week. It is called Jimmy Carter Way, an actual street in Atlanta.

I bet the Georgia road planning folks are rethinking that proclamation. They should have saved it for a dead-end street.

Every time the former President opens his mouth, the Herbert Hoover Appreciation Society gains a few members.

Mr. Carter has single handily labeled 58% of Americans as racists. That is the latest poll number that is unhappy with Obama’s performance.

Mr Carter told NBC NEWS in response to the populist response of the Tea Parties, "I think an overwhelming portion of the intensely demonstrated animosity toward President Barack Obama is based on the fact that he is a black man."

He said this "racism inclination still exists. And I think it's bubbled up to the surface because of the belief among many white people, not just in the South but around the country, that African-Americans are not qualified to lead this great country. It's an abominable circumstance, and it grieves me and concerns me very deeply."

Jimmy – STOP talking, you are insignificant, irrelevant, and an unnecessary distraction. Go build a house.

Who thought Billy Carter was the smarter brother.

Sept. 9, 2009 - Obama Speech Bingo

Here we go again. Obama interrupts prime time TV for a “Major” address at 8 p.m.

It gives me a chance to play Obama Speech Bingo. I lay out cards with 5 columns and various numbers.

Column #O - The number of times the newscasters will say that, ”This is the most important speech of the Obama Administration.” They will use words like crucial, pivotal, critical, etc. MSNBC has a countdown clock on the lower part of the screen for those who can’t figure how long it will be until 8 p.m. It is also counting down how long before Chris Mathews gets the first tingling feeling. Best guess – 9

Column #B - The number of times that Barrack Obama will mention an ordinary citizen like Suzi Blah from Ohio or Navin R. Johnson from Mississippi as examples of how the current health care system has hurt them. Some times these “average” citizens are even invited to sit in the Presidential Box with the President’s family. Best Guess - 4

Column #A - The Number of times Barrack Obama will invoke the name of Ted Kennedy within the speech. Best Guess - 2

Column #M - The number of times that Nancy Pelosi will leap from her seat and clap as if she is a marionette. Best Guess - 17

Column #A – The length of the speech to the nearest 10 minute increment. This is counted from the time he enters the chamber. Best Guess – 50

The first person to have a true BINGO or “OBAMA” gets all the Kool-Aid they can drink.

Thanks, but I’m not thirsty.

Sept. 8, 2009 - The Messiah visits Cincinnati

What a Labor Day weekend in Cincinnati.

Great Fireworks on the river care of Rozzi’s on Sunday and a small fizzling flicker from a year-old sparkler from President Obama on Labor Day.

Obama spoke to the choir, (union folk), at Coney Island / Riverbend. The Cincinnati Enquirer covered the speech or did they?

Within the text of the articles covering his visit they couldn’t decide if there were 10K, 5K, or 4K spectators. It sounded a lot like his policy. Trying to get the factual policy position is like nailing Jello to the wall. Good Luck.

Today, Obama’s revised speech to schools was nice and non-partisan. A special thanks should go out to all that protested the original framework of the “Lesson Plans” offered by the White House last week.

They removed the original essay question: "Ask not only what your country (Obama Government) can do for you, but ask how you can help support your President implement his wealth redistribution strategy."

Obama’s education speech centered on personal responsibility and the importance of staying in school. It’s hard to argue with that.

Obama did offer a recollection of his mom waking him at 4:30 a.m. to review his studies. Nice touch. I file it in the same category as Bill Clinton’s golf scores. Neither story can be confirmed.

I always tell my kids that I walked to school up hill in the snow, both ways. They are smart enough to understand when someone stretches the truth for effect and when someone just flat out lies to them.

Sept. 4, 2009 - Friday Funny - How to Call the Police

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.

George Phillips , an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"

He said "No, but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me."

Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available."

George said, "Okay."

He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot them." and he hung up.

Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed. One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

I LOVE IT! Don't mess with old people

Sept. 3, 2009 - College Football Begins TONIGHT!!!

This is a classy youtube video remninding Ohio State fans that there is something more important than College Football. It is service to your country.

I attended the first OSU football game after 9/11. It was against UCLA in the Rose Bowl on 9/22/01. I'll never foregt the awesome feeling when the Air Forec did a fly over.

It's too bad so many have forgotten that what unites us is much stronger than what divides us.

Go Navy and Go Bucks.

August 31, 2009- PPM - Obama 2012?

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is about the now ENDLESS ELECTION CYCLE.

I was stunned to see the below Obama 2012 bumper sticker this past weekend.

Obama asking for another 4 years, less than nine months into his first term, is like someone proposing marriage between the appetizer and the entrée on their first date.

What accomplishments could Obama run on?

- Running up a one year deficient 4 times the largest one ever recorded?
- Attempting to take over control of 1/6th of the US economy with a program touted as health care reform?
- Lessening our national security by politicizing past interrogation tactics that KEPT us safe?

I tell you what. Turn the economy around, reduce unemployment, secure the borders, and get your hand out of pocket, and then we will discuss 2012.