August 25, 2008 - PPM - The Olympic Lames

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY has been brewing for the last 17 days. It has to do with the Beijing Olympics.

It’s not about the overt Nationalism and the all-important country medal counts.

It’s not about the child abuse exhibited by China in their exploitation of their women’s (girls’) gymnastic team.

It’s not about the events happening at inconvenient times for my TV watching. China actually utilizes a single time zone for the entire country. It just isn’t my time zone.

My PEEVE concerns how the Olympics are supposed to celebrate world-class athletes. You have to wonder how some activities can be considered Olympics Sports.

Archery, Canoeing, and Fencing are Olympic Medals sports. They used be activities reserved for summer camp.

China received 16% of their overall medals from Badminton and Table Tennis. I last played Badminton, OK, Never. If I did I would have to turn in my “Dude Card”. As for Table Tennis, we call it Ping Pong or in some cases “Beer Pong”.

Men’s Field Hockey – Do they wear pink? Really, Men’s Field Hockey?

Rhythmic Gymnastics - This is where very flexible women use hula-hoops, streamers, or balls during a dance routine. Sounds eerily like what I saw in a seedy Bangkok establishment 10 years ago. What’s next, Slinkys on escalators?

Sailing had 11 events, with 9 different boat types, resulting in 33 medals. Kayaking had three levels of competition. Shooting had seven different gun types and positions. Multiple weapons and skill levels sounds more like Halo 3 than the Olympics.

The Modern Pentathlon combines fencing, swimming, shooting, show horse riding, and cross country running. I think I saw this amalgamation before the opening credits on the last James Bond movie.

I think the Olympics should be limited to Gymnastics, Track and Field, Swimming and Diving.

Baseball and Softball have been eliminated as Olympic Sports for 2012. You could argue that Basketball, Tennis, and Soccer already have World Championships that rate above the Olympic stage. I think the IOC should look at some of the other so-called Sports.

After eliminating the redundancy and non-sports, the IOC should re-work other categories.

This year, the US track relays teams dropped the baton twice. I bet if you replaced the baton with rolled-up paper drafts of their Endorsement Deals, they wouldn’t have dropped them.

I think in order to save time; you could merge some sports.

You could combine BMX Racing and Fencing and call it Modern Day Jousting.

If you joined Synchronized Swimming, Shooting, and Canoeing into one event, it could be dramatic. It sounds like Deliverance, only with better choreography.

I think any event with shooting, single elimination, and sudden death would help ratings and move things along.

August 22, 2008 - Friday Funny - Special (?) Olympics

This week’s FRIDAY FUNNY is a preview of what may be my PET PEEVE next Monday.

Fortunately, the below is NOT a sport at this year’s Olympics.

August 18, 2008 - PPM - Tramp Stamps

I’m back from a great vacation and ready to share my thoughts with all of the Jabberwockers out there. When you visit 11 states and 2 countries on a two-week vacation, you can’t help but spot a PEEVE or two.

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) came to me while visiting a family friendly water park in Ligonier Pennsylvania.

I was stunned to see a number of TRAMP STAMPS on the backs on young mothers by the pool. A “Tramp Stamp” is a tattoo on the lower back of a female. It actually has a Wiikipedia Entry.

I used my trusty I-Phone to capture the moment.

If that wasn’t enough, I saw more of the same the next day at the Hershey Lodge in Hershey Pennsylvania.

I’ve even coined a term when I see one. I now refer to them as METS (Mommies Exhibiting Tramp Stamps). It’s not as catchy (or vulgar) as MILF, but it has possibilities.

Tattoos, themselves, don’t PEEVE me. It is when they are on the back of what is supposed to be a role model, your mom. How is that going to look at the your child’s school picnic? How is it going to look in 20 years when gravity takes its toll?

Tattoos are basically meant to be permanent. If they are located on the lower back, the tattooed individual cannot really appreciate the “art” work, because they can’t see it. It ‘s like buying a really cool t-shirt, but wearing it backwards.

I don’t even want to get into the debate about how Tramp Stamps carry a stigma of promiscuity. That’s irrelevant at this point.

Tattoos on the lower back have a medical risk when women with the “mark” want to receive an epidural. Anesthesiologist will avoid putting needle sticks within the “tramp stamp” to avoid possible tattoo discoloration, thus introducing a medical risk.

Most of the METS have tattoos that aren’t even legible. I already have to squint when I read the small print on a menu. It would be rude to stoop and squint while looking at some young mother’s back. I-Phone pictures are much less invasive.

Here is a picture I found on the web. I bet that Tramp Stamp took some time. Don't you love a good scripture quote?

Although retired for three years now, I think I could start a profitable business at the local strip mall. It would be a TATTOO REMOVAL Business.

My advice to future METS everywhere, “THINK BEFORE YOU INK.”

August 15, 2008 - Friday Funny - Bad Wedding Photos

This week’s FRIDAY FUNNY is about wedding and wedding photos.

We’ve all seen bad wedding photos, but have you seen these:

I'm guessing Anniversary gifts aren't a problem with this group.

August 13, 2008 - I'm Back

Good News.

The vacation went better and longer than expected.

I’ll download the pictures and update the blog soon.

Trust me, you can not drive 2200 miles, through 11 states and 2 countries (Canada) with three kids, without accumulating some PET PEEVES, FUNNY FRIDAYS, and LOSERS OF THE WEEK.

Stay tuned.