Feb. 18, 2011 - Friday Funny - Got Crabs?

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him.

She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.

Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.

Shortly before landing in New York , she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs, in New Orleans, please raise your hand?"

Not one hand went up .... so she took them home and ate them.

Two lessons here:

1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.
2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most folk think.


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Feb. 14, 2011 – PPM – Don’t Call It A Budget

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is the new OBAMA BUDGET.

Here is a quick 3 Year Summary:

FY 2011 Projected Revenue - $2.17 Trillion

FY 2011 Projected Spending - $3.82 Trillion

FY 2011 Deficit - $1.65 TRILLION

FY 2012 Projected Revenue - $2.63 Trillion

FY 2012 Projected Spending - $3.73 Trillion

FY 2012 Deficit - $1.10 TRILLION

FY 2013 Projected Revenue - $3.00 Trillion

FY 2013 Projected Spending - $3.77 Trillion

FY 2013 Deficit - $770 BILLION

I have accounting and finance degrees, but it really isn't that hard to figure out.
You have X in revenues, then you can only spend X in expenses.

Every government, business, and individual should have a BALANCED BUDGET.

Obama's budget actually went out 10 years till 2021. At no point did EXPENSES = REVENUES.

It is unbelievable that we are PLANNING to spend more money than we bring in for the short, middle, and long term.

We need a SURPLUS BUDGET in order to retire the $14 TRILLION NATIONAL DEBT. But instead, according to the just released forecast, it will be over $20 TRILLION by 2021.

Bottom line: Don't Call It a BUDGET document unless REVENUES = EXPENSES.

It should be referred to as the 2011 Obama Deficit Planning Document.

Feb. 11, 2011 - Friday Funny - "Professional" Wrestling

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY comes from the world of "Professional" Wrestling.

Feb. 7, 2011 – PPM – Pyramid Schemes

This week's PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is how our current President feels he has to interject himself into the affairs of other nations.

I was always amazed when they state that Obama's approval rating in Europe is 63%. Great. They didn't vote for him and they aren't affected by his policies or tax hikes.

How arrogant is Obama? He feels he has the right to ask Mubarak to step down because we give Egypt $1.5B a year in aid.

What kind of leverage does China have with the United States? As our largest shareholder, maybe they should call for a management shake-up at the next annual meeting. I wonder how Obama would respond to foreign intrusion into OUR internal political process.

He would denounce it, but that would be the pot calling the kettle bla..., oh wait, I can't say that, it might be perceived as racist.

In the end, all of Egypt's problems go way back to the beginning. It's all a pyramid scheme.

Feb. 6, 2011 - Super Bowl Sunday

Happy Super Bowl Sunday. It should be a good game.

I’m not sure what is worse, the Arrogant Steeler fans or the Annoying Packer fans. It feels a little like going through the buffet line after Rosie O’Donnell and Oprah Winfrey. At the end, there really isn’t anything left for the rest of us.



What is truly amazing is that most football fans probably see nothing wrong with the above sign.

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Feb. 4, 2011 - Friday Funny - Game Over

This week's FRIDAY FUNNY makes me feel better about my parenting decisions.


Game use is strictly monitored and allocated. The down side is they will never be "video game tutors." Oh well.

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Feb. 3, 2011 - PPM - Journalist Get A Good Rap

This week's Pet Peeve Monday (PPM) actually couldn't wait till next week. Earlier this week, the US State Department issued a travel warning for Egypt. It stated that all essential personal should exit the country.

So what happens next?

Brian Williams, Katie Curic, and Anderson Cooper hop on the next flight out TO Egypt.

No surprise, journalists are attacked and become part of the story. CNN's Cooper has been attacked twice. But then again, he probably deserved to be slapped at least once for his metrosexual attitude and wardrobe.

I'm just hoping Oprah decides to go over and do a show while the anti-journalism fever is rising. "You get a camel. You get a camel. You get a .....WHACK!!!"

The State Department updated its warning today, stating that if US citizens don't leave today, they will be on their own.

I hope they stay.



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