May 2, 2008 - Friday Funny - Golf Book

Having just returned from a Golf Vacation (?), these might be some of the chapters from my first Golf Book:

Chapter 1 - How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt
Chapter 2 - How to Hit a Nike from the Rough, When You Hit a Titleist from the Tee
Chapter 3 - How to Avoid the Water When You Lie 8 in a Bunker

Chapter 4 - How to Get More Distance off the Shank
Chapter 5 - When to Give the Ranger the Finger
Chapter 6 - Using Your Shadow on the Greens to Maximize Earning

Chapter 7 - When to Implement Handicap Management
Chapter 8 - Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 9:00 a.m.
Chapter 9 - How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the Water

Chapter 10 - Using Curse words Creatively to Control Ball Flight
Chapter 11 - When to Let a Foursome Play through Your Twosome
Chapter 12 - How to Relax When You Are Hitting Five Off the Tee

Chapter 13 - When to Re-Grip Your Ball Retriever
Chapter 14 - Throwing Your Clubs: An Effective Stress-Reduction Technique
Chapter 15 - Why Male Golfers Will Pay $5.00 for a Beer from the Cart Girl and Give Her a $3 Tip, but Will Balk at $3.50 at the 19th Hole and Stiff the Bartender.