November 17 - Friday Funny - Why I Chose OSU

For the past four FUNNY FRIDAYS I have been sharing with you jokes at the expense of our neighbors to the north in michigan. I’ve provided links to those blogs below.

November 10
November 3
October 27
October 20

Rather than to continue to embarrass a school and state that already has an inferiority complex, I thought I would also like to tell you why I chose The Ohio State University.

As a senior in High School, the world was my oyster. The problem was that I didn’t have the finances to get to the ocean or to learn how to fish (if that is how they get oysters). Additionally, I did not like the look (think snot) and taste (think snot, again) to want to eat oysters.

I had the grades to get into other universities and actually entertained the thought of attending a service academy like West Point. I applied and was accepted to the University of Notre Dame, but the scholarship and grant-in-aid monies fell well short of my means. Besides, no one likes an arrogant ND graduate that can only live and die by how their football team performs.

It was almost a default decision on why I went to The Ohio State University. It was close and cheap.

My freshman year I was overwhelmed at first, as there were actually more students at OSU then in my hometown. I didn’t live in the dorms, so meeting people was at my own volition.

In my second year, I moved into a house with 15 other guys. Many of the occupants had been in school for 6-7 years, but were not doctors or even medical students. One occupant actually had a GPA of 1.99 and had enough credit hours to graduate. The problem was that he couldn’t get his GPA above the mandatory 2.00 threshold. Since no one living in this house had ever graduated, I wanted to be the first.

It was during this sophomore year that my funds dried up and I was forced to supplement my student loans and my college work-study with external employment.

I took a job at the campus Holiday Inn as the Night Auditor working from midnight to 8 a.m., five days a week. It was fine, because I would catch a free breakfast at the hotel buffet and head off to my 9 a.m. class. I would “zero-out” the books about two a.m., which would leave ample time for study. Or so I thought. My grades began to sink.

It’s hard to study in the middle of the night when you have shows like Mission Impossible or Rat Patrol on the TV. There was only one 24-hour TV channel, WTBS, available, and I had to watch it.

If video games, 500 channel TVs, or the Internet were available in 1982, I probably would have never finished school.

It was during this crucial year that I found my voice and vision. In the wee hours of the morning, I determined what I wanted to do with my life. It became really obvious the night the Holiday Inn was robbed by 2 gunmen and the security guy decided to jump into the elevator to avoid the confrontation. It was at that moment I decided that being a Night Auditor was not the “Dream Job.” I decided to refocus my attention on my studies and graduation.

It was that simple decision that defined me and determined who I would be throughout my life.

So, why such an affinity for Ohio State sports?

I’m not sure. My brother and sister graduated from the same university yet do not share my unbridled enthusiasm. But as the great philosopher, Popeye, opined, “I am what I am.”

While this may sound a bit like a commencement speaker, which was once a subject of a Pet Peeve Monday, I would encourage anyone, when selecting a college to make the most of your decision. My decision appeared to be random at the time, but it defined me.

While your college may not be a major football powerhouse with a rich tradition like Ohio State, I’m sure there are some positives that you can accentuate. If not, then I guess you could just go to the university of michigan.

In closing, I have provided some links to uplifting videos about The Ohio State University.

Enjoy, and GO BUCKS.