November 13 - Pet Peeve Monday - The Wave

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY is dedicated to my friends to the north of me in michigan.

For those of you that are uninformed or new to this country (but somehow have high speed internet access), The Ohio State University plays the BIG GAME against michigan this coming Saturday.

I have many PET PEEVES about michigan. It could be how michiganders explain where they are from by holding up their left hand and pointing to a spot. It could be how they talk about their easy access to Canada. I’m sure Canadians are so, so proud of their easy access to michigan, (insert sarcasm smirk here.) Or it could be how they seldom marry outside of their tribe. Think cousins marrying and the shallow end of the gene pool.

But one thing that has irked me for many years was THE WAVE. What irritates me is not only the act itself, but the fact that michigan and others would fight over who invented it. THIS IS A PET PEEVE.

A wave is a coordinated sequence of actions taken by the audience members in which a group of spectators lying along a radial line extending outward from the sport field all stand up and raise their arms, then return to a normal seated posture again as the neighboring group of spectators takes their turn to stand up. If you can’t understand these instructions, then Shampoo bottle instructions may also be a challenge for you.

Although, michiganders proclaim they invented “the wave”, the exact origin of the wave is disputed. Its growth may be traced across three different sports, spread over three different North American countries. It is claimed to have been created (by chance) at a National Hockey League game in Canada in 1980. It was introduced to a wider audience (by intent) at a Major League Baseball game in the United States in 1981. Whatever its origin, by the mid 1980s the practice was widespread throughout North America. It gained international notice at a FIFA Football World Cup game in Mexico in 1986 (hence it being known as a Mexican wave by some). This is not to be confused with “the wave” of illegal immigrants FROM Mexico.

Most disturbingly, there is a real dispute between the University of Washington and michigan. Some claim that the first wave originated in Seattle at the University of Washington's Husky Stadium on October 31, 1981, at the prompting of Robb Weller (later Entertainment Tonight co-host). Weller, a 1972 Washington graduate, was the guest “Yell-King” during the Huskies' homecoming football game against the Stanford University Cardinal (led by junior quarterback John Elway). Personally, I would never announce that I was the Yell King.

Apparently, michigan cheerleaders brought it back to michigan where it was “fine-tuned.” They added dual waves, silent waves, simultaneous waves in opposite directions. Wow, that is like removing the smell from dog dung and calling it a pâté.

The largest recorded wave was at a university of michigan versus OHIO STATE football game in 2005 when 111,591 fans performed the “feat.” That assumes there were not any non-wavers, people at the bathroom, or people that couldn’t follow the directions. Where was the Pied Piper when you needed him? Lake Erie can’t be that far away. Now that would have been something I could have stood for. Below is a picture form that 2005 20052 game. Huh, OSU won again.

It must be noted, however, that despite the spectacular sight of an entire stadium performing the wave, it is often a signal of an uninteresting performance of the actual sporting event, which forces the audience to seek for something to entertain themselves. Now I know why michigan would have the largest and most enthusiastic wave.

I have NEVER been a fan of The WAVE. In fact, if I’m standing when it comes around, I sit down. I’m a WAVE BUSTER if anything at all. Ask anyone who has ever attended e a sporting event with me.

I would hope that michiganders would have a better chance of fame than to try to claim credit for something they didn’t invent and for something that is irrelevant and a bad idea. They could acknowledge starting syphilis. At least there is a cure for it.

I do have some friends from michigan and I’m sure they would agree.

I play baseball on Sundays with Jim, a michigander. Granted, Jim is not only slow of foot but sometimes he forgets to show up for some games. They call him Lucky because he was able to move out of michigan and was granted asylum in Ohio.

My other michigan friend is the wife of an ex-coworker. She came over to one of my muck fichigan parties. Unfortunately, she missed most of the game as she forgot that tequilla was not a good chaser for tequilla shots.

So this Saturday, when THE WAVE comes at you, think outside THE SHOE. DON’T DO IT.

GO BUCKS.