May 16 - Alligator Aggregation

Today’s biggest news stories were Bush’s Illegal Immigration speech and Alligators in Florida have killed three people.

I’m sure a made for TV movie about Killer Gators is already in the works. It’s too soon to focus on sharks, and the bird flu movie that aired last week tanked.

Alligators even dominated the discussion at the local pub today. A patron tried to explain to me that the way to get away from a gator was to run zigzag. He stated that if you ran straight that a gator could catch you. I explain to him that I didn’t need to be faster than the gator, I just needed to be faster than him. I also brought it to his attention that he would have to in fact leave the bar and Ohio to have any real shot at “Alligator Tag”. Those chances were slim and none.

I have a novel solution to solve the gator and immigration problems.

Instead of a long fence, let’s dig a ditch, a moat in fact. We stock the moat with the 1-2 million alligators now inhabiting the disappearing Florida Everglades. It will cut down on illegal immigration and/or the alligators will be well fed. Either way its saves time and money deporting aliens and defending the transparent border.

The only problem would be to find cheap labor to dig the trench. Maybe we could get the illegal aliens to do it on their way out of this country.

The below picture is a six foot gator I encountered on my trip to a Florida golf course in March.
The Florida State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions and keep alert for alligators.

They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as "little bells" on their clothing to alert, but not startle the alligators, unexpectedly.

They also advise the carrying of "pepper spray" in case of an encounter with an alligator. It's also a good idea to watch for fresh signs of alligator activity and be able to recognize the difference between young alligator and adult alligator droppings.

Young alligator droppings are small, contain fish bones and possibly bird feathers. Adult alligators droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper.