May 15 - Pet Peeve Monday

This week’s Pet Peeve is dedicated to those people who identify themselves by using only their first name. They have convinced themselves and now they want us all to believe they are “Uber-Celebrities”. Early adopters of this fad were Madonna, Cher, and Jewel. It seemed to be limited to female musicians and then Prince came along. And still it was limited to female musicians. I expect a future CSI to be focused on locating Prince’s lost Y chromosome.

Soon every supermodel only had one name. Was it because they couldn’t remember their last name? Do what I do with my young children, pin it to your clothes.

Some new entries only use their first name plus their profession. Cedric the Entertainer should be sued for false advertisement. Larry the Cable Guy is another example. Some of the redneck comedians are funny in doses, but this spokesperson for Deliverance extras who isn’t really named Larry, or from the South, is just an embarrassment to humanity. “Git-R-Done” – I don’t think so. How about SHUT-R-UP!.

There are also those couples that are identified by their first names like Nick and Jessica. I’m just happy they are getting divorced. Nick Lachey seems like a reasonable guy. He likes Ohio State Football, Reds Baseball, and Blondes. But why is anyone interested in Jessica Simpson beyond her Clearasil / Silicone enhanced topical features? She is an empty-headed no-talent moron. We should use The Patriot Act to permit the government to put anyone who ever bought a Jessica Simpson record on a special island and do some bomb testing. Not only would you collectively increase the nation’s IQ, but also you’d stick it to Wal-Mart by getting rid of 80% of their customer base.

You don’t see this culture in the business world. Nobody says “hey lets get a meeting with Bill, Larry, and Warren.” (Bill Gates, Larry Ellison, Warren Buffet)

Even Jesus Christ goes by his full name. Especially when I use or misuse a hammer.

I won't even address the combining name phenomenon of "Bennifer", "Bragelena", or "JaJeidi". I'll save that for another day.

Happy Pet Peeve Monday from the Blogger now known only as JAY.