May 11 - The 5 People I Meet in Hell (#3)

It’s time for the next installment of THE FIVE PEOPLE I MEET IN HELL (See April 26 Blog.).

To recap, Mitch Albom wrote a book a few years ago, The Five People I Meet in Heaven. Now, it’s my turn to use my poetic license, (yes I have one printed up), to alter his altruistic prose to illustrate my feelings and thoughts.# 5 was Oprah Winfrey, at #4 was Star Jones

And coming in at # 3 is ……….EVA LONGORIA

For those of you who say, “Who is that?”, Thank you. Her 15 minutes of fame clock is now at 14 minutes , 59 seconds. She appears (not stars) on the ABC show, Desperate Housewives.

I only need to provide some recent Eva quotes to make my point. She may even be higher on your list than #3.

“I like being small - I've known so many women with big boobs who feel overweight or end up with back problems.”

“I find it a turnoff whenever men aren't into some kind of sport. And, no, video games don't count. I dated a guy who was into video games, and I wanted to shoot myself.”

“To be with the same person for the rest of your life just sounds so drab.”

“My acting is still being recognized for the fact that I wasn't nominated.”

“The pinnacle for me was being on Oprah!” – a daily double, # 5 and # 3 in the same room.

She says of Prince William, "He's good-looking and dinner might be fun, but I'd hate to marry into the British royal family because of what happened to Princess Diana. I do like British guys though. If I had to pick one it would be Ewan McGregor. I met him once and he was gorgeous even if he is a little short."

"I've lost a lot of jobs because I was too pretty. And everybody's like, 'Oh, poor you.' But seriously, you don't get the good roles when you're beautiful."

"Even though Jennifer Aniston's had huge success, she'll always be Rachel Green."

According to some recent buzz, Eva Longoria does not plan to renew her contract with ABC's Desperate Housewives. Longoria said, "I don't want to be on 7th Heaven -- on for 20 years and no one's really watching and it's hanging on by a thread."

Do you envision her in hell yet? I didn’t even talk about when she was pulled over earlier this year with her boyfriend, Tony Parker, and she berated the cop because she was a “celebrity”.

In the picture, Eva Longoria has truly mastered the art of snobbish posturing here. Just check out the position of that nose. Now that’s what I call talent.