June 2 - Friday Funny

It’s time again for the FRIDAY FUNNY.

The Fisherman and the Balloonist:

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a fisherman in a boat below.

She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude."

She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it's my fault."

This joke is very timely because this week the Associated Press reported the state-by-state rankings of the most liberal states. New Mexico and New York share the top spot while Ohio finished last. Wow, and people were surprised John Kerry lost Ohio in 2004.

The rankings were compiled by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and two abortion-rights groups, Ipas and the SisterSong Women of Color Reproductive Health Collective.

States were scored cumulatively based on 25 different laws, ranging from restrictions on abortion to recognition of same-sex partnerships to the availability of emergency contraception.

Following New York and New Mexico in the Top 10 at the liberal end of the rankings were New Jersey, Washington, California, Vermont, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Connecticut and Hawaii. Joining Ohio at the other end of the scale were South Dakota, Indiana, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Mississippi, Kentucky, Utah, Nebraska and Missouri.

I am so happy to hear OHIO finished where it did. I only moved back to OHIO 10 years ago and I dreaded the idea I would have to move to South Dakota already. GO BUCKS.