Jan. 7, 2010 - Christmas 2009 is CLOSED

It’s snowing crazy outside so I thought I would CLOSE OUT the 2009 Christmas books. The Christmas Box has been taken down and the stockings are stowed for another year.

The last item was to log the Christmas Cards received into my Microsoft Access Christmas Database. Each year, I total what was sent and received. From this data accumulation, I’m able to formulate opinions about human nature and predict coming trends. Here is this year’s summary:

85 - Number of cards sent

My cards are personally signed and include the Lewis Annual Report. The “Report” is an eight-page, multi-colored summary of the year in review. This year’s version had 12 pictures and a couple of hyperlinks.

56 - Number of cards received

But, let’s take the analysis to another level.

19 – cards were personally signed only (no message, picture, or letter)
6 – cards were personally signed and included a message
6 – cards were personally signed and included a XMAS letter
7 – cards were signed by a computer (no message, picture, or letter)
9 – unsigned picture postcards
5 – signed picture postcards (no message)
2 – signed picture postcard with XMAS letter
1 – true postcard without envelope (picture was from their summer vacation)
1 – electronic card via email in a pdf format

Other interesting facts:

7 – cards were from people that I did not have in my database
1 – signed card came with illegible handwriting and no return address (it’s the thought, I guess.)

I usually receive a few more cards in mid-January as people feel the guilt for receiving and not giving.

My favorite delivery was an unsigned picture postcard. However, scrawled on the back of the envelope was the following message: “JJ – You’ll probably notice that one of the family is missing. Tough year!”

I opened the card and noticed that the wife/mother was not in the picture. I immediately put on Fox News to see if any other white women were missing besides the one in Utah. Nope. I now start to think the worst, death. I finally call my buddy and what a relief.

His wife just went through a mid-life crisis and left him for a younger man. It was just a divorce – what a relief. Although, next year I have to send 86 cards. I can’t catch a break.