August 28, 2009 - Friday Funny - Golf Quotes

One of my goals when I retired in 2005 was to become a good enough golfer to qualify for the Seniors Tour when I turned 50. I figured I had 7 years to get my golf handicap from a 32 to a zero, or scratch.

Four years into the program, I’m down to a 21 handicap, but trending behind the plan if you are evaluating it on a linear basis. No worries. I just need to play more golf.

Here is a list of golf quotes sent in from Jabberwocker, Chris.

Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk. - Grantland Rice

If profanity had any influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is. - Horace G. Hutchinson

They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that. - Gardner Dickinson

If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork as poorly as they do a golf club, they'd starve to death. - Sam Snead

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin

If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up. - Tommy Bolt

I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced. - Arnold Palmer

I'm hitting the woods just great; but having a terrible time getting out of them! - Buddy Hackett

Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at either of them. - Jimmy DeMaret

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.