January 1 - Happy New Year

Here are my 2007 New Year’s Resolutions.

1. Play More Golf – I only have 5 years before I’m eligible for the PGA Senior’s Tour. I have to figure out a way to reduce my handicap by 21 strokes without eliminating any holes. The only way to do this, is to play MORE GOLF.

2. Speak My Mind – I’m committed to no longer sit idly by and let things go un-challenged. I’m going to continue to call out PET PEEVES each Monday and share these concerns with others.

3. Gain Weight – Everyone wants to lose weight, but I’m going to add a few pounds. My Dad was 3 inches shorter and 40 pounds heavier at my age. I guess I’m just not trying. Pass the cheese wiz and the pork rinds, please.

4. Spend Less Time With Family – They need to be more independent. I’ve already tried to wean my kids off of displays of affection by limiting hugs to between 8:00 and 8:15 each morning. A nice by product is that it has also taught them how to tell time.

5. Watch More TV – I’ve never watched a reality series. Maybe, I am missing something.

6. Learn Spanish Cuss Words – I need to be able to explain to the workers at the bank, the grocery, and the convenience store how I really feel about their low level of service.

7. Be More Sarcastic – Like, is that really possible?

So don't make the same stupid New Year's resolutions you've been making and failing to meet every year. Set some that are attainable.

Here are some Resolutions that should be easy to follow:

Always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump.

Try driving closer to the speed limit.

Here are a couple of good quotes about resolutions:

Mark Twain: New Year's Day… now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.

Oscar Wilde: Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.

Happy New Year.