August 19 - Happy Birthday Bill Clinton

Former US president Bill Clinton celebrated his 60th birthday on Saturday. The irony is that he is finally a sexagenarian. A word that’s meaning is probably misunderstood as a type of fetish rather than a word that describes someone in their 60’s.

David Letterman featured the following Top 10 list this week:

Top Ten Bill Clinton 60th Birthday Plans
10. The usual - - bucket of KFC and a lap dance
9. Get cracking on second 2,000-page biography
8. Bust open a piñata full of Lipitor
7. Depends on what your definition of the word "plans" is
6. Thank Letterman for the $10 Radio Shack gift certificate
5. Pretending to be excited when Hillary wears one of her "sexy pantsuits" to bed
4. Going to Foxwoods with Kofi Annan to catch Regis and Susan Lucci
3. Hit on that cute AARP receptionist
2. Reminding Gore the cake is for everyone
1. In honor of 60, 20-year-old triplets!

Another favorite Clinton joke:

President Clinton got together with some of his golf buddies for a round. When they got ready to tee off on hole No. 1, Clinton removed his golf jacket and revealed that he had a pair of panties stuck to his upper left arm. Nobody in the group had enough guts to ask about it, so they played their eighteen holes as usual.

When the game was completed, and drinks were flowing profusely at the "19th Hole", one of the group got enough "Jack Daniels" courage, and asked, "Mr. President, what's the story on those panties you have stuck to your arm?" Clinton replied, "It's a patch...I'm trying to quit."

And other oldie but goodie -

Q. When will there be a woman in the White House?
A. When Hillary leaves town.

I’m not sure if Bill is describing his golf game or the strategic missile defense system in the below picture.

Happy Birthday Bill. Unfortunately, I think we are going to see a lot more of Slick Willie in the next two years. He was in the news this week, chastising the Republicans for politicizing the London terror plot. Bill, the Republicans didn’t mention it, YOU DID!

Now if I throw a stick, will you go away?