August 14 - California Dreaming?

I just returned from a week visiting my in-laws in California. During that week:

There was an increased threat of terrorism.

There was an invasion by an organized group with different religious beliefs.

There was a tenuous cease-fire agreement.

AND THIS ALL HAPPENED INSIDE MY IN-LAW’S HOUSE.

We invaded their quiet house and neighborhood with three children under the age of seven. Things were broken, stained, and crayon-ed throughout the compound. Peace was restored when some of the infidels decided to stay at the local Marriott.

Coincidently, I heard that there were parallel events in the “real” world of London and Lebanon.

I actually experienced the increased terrorism threat first hand when I was accosted by the Los Angeles (LAX) security prior to our return flight on Sunday.

After purging our carry-on and backpacks of all toothpaste, hair gels, lotions, water, juice boxes, sippy cups, and ketchup packets, I was subjected to an intense pat down and inquisition. I had tried (unsuccessfully) to get a 23-crayon pack through security.

It confused the TSA X-Ray attendant. Only 24 crayon packs were apparently allowed. She called for back up from the gloved male enforcer. I believe he was about to do a cavity search on me for the missing crayon. I’m not sure if it was a chartreuse crayon or a carnation pink crayon that was missing. I’m also not sure if crayons are considered an incendiary device, an accelerant, or an ignition tool.

Finally, calmer heads prevailed as security was diverted to a 90 year-old woman trying to get her crochet needles through the obvious impenetrable airline security fortress. I scurrilously gathered my belonging and joined my family. We had made it through security only to wait three hours for our scheduled departure.

If this sounds like Pet Peeve Monday, it’s not. Stay tuned. I’ll discuss airline security and true terrorist profiling in an upcoming blog. This was only a glimpse from my week in California.

Truth be told (as the picture shows), the kids and grandparents had a great week.