August 4 - 2006 Family Vacation

Today we began our annual family vacation. Last year we visited Disney World for a week. If it sounds like fun, maybe the phrase, “two-year old on the Fourth of July in 100 degree heat, walking on asphalt” will provide some guidance.

To kick off this year’s road to memories, we decided to take part in “The World's Longest Yardsale” also known as the Hwy 127 Corridor Sale. It spans 450 miles and four states, starting in Covington, KY and ending somewhere in Alabama. We only took in about 30 miles within Kentucky.

Each of us made a shopping list. Each child had a $5 budget. Below were some of our acquisitions:

School Desk ($10), Set of Junior right handed golf clubs w/ bag ($3), set of Men’s left handed golf clubs ($8), concrete painted Indian ($25)

Commentary: I needed a second children’s desk in my office for after school studying. The junior clubs are for my six-year old. As for the left-handed clubs, I only needed one club for those tough shots when you behind a tree, or your stance would put you in ankle deep water. But at $8 for the set maybe I’ll try golf left-handed. I switch hit in baseball, why not golf? How hard can that be? I got the Indian just to piss off more neighbors.

Four spiral notebooks ($1), cast iron dinner bell ($25), President’s book ($1), George W. Bush bobblehead ($5), pink and purple set of silverware ($1)

Roller blades ($2), Richard Nixon 1960 campaign button ($1), pack of 5 John Wayne Movies ($5), Eight Men Out DVD ($2), house shaped wall rack ($2)

Three happy children with new rings ($0.25), necklaces ($1), ear rings ($1), and hair bands (0.50) – Priceless. BTW the two girls (who look like their mother) tapped out their $5 budgets while my little man came home with $2.70. It only supports the theorem of my possible doctorate on “The Direct Correlation between Genetic Genders and Spending Habits.”

What was interesting or disturbing was that the deeper into Kentucky we drove, the more guns for sale we noticed. At one of our final stops, one could also purchase mortar shells and a bazooka. My July 17 Pet Peeve about the Second Amendment exemplifies why the “right to bear arms” is one once good idea whose time has passed.

At any rate, we had a nice drive, found some bargains, and made some memories. My best purchase was today’s USA Today for $0.75. The College preview issue's headline is below. I hope the January 9, 2007 headline has a similar theme. Our next stop on our vacation is a Family Pig Roast in my hometown. With apologies to Lynn Truss, author of Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation, we won’t be roasting the family pig. I believe the pig is not, has not, and probably never will be a family friend or member. It will be delicious however, after bacon (baking) in the sun.