December 8, 2008 - PPM - Christmas Gone Lame

This week’s PET PEEVE MONDAY (PPM) is the absurdity of some Christmas gifts. I receive countless catalogues based upon the fact that the majority of my shopping is done on-line.

While perusing this year’s offerings, I was struck how senseless that children’s toys have become.

Example #1: The 50' Snowball Launcher

The text reads: “This toy blaster makes and launches softball-sized snowballs up to 50', allowing rapid, long-range assaults during neighborhood snowball confrontations. Simply place snow in the forming chamber and close the lid; it packs three perfectly spherical snowballs. To blast your mark, place one snowball in the muzzle, aim the launcher, and pull back the slingshot mechanism.”

It is no wonder that all of the great Major League pitchers now come from the impoverished Dominican Republic or Cuba. Caribbean people can’t afford the luxury of having a toy throw the snowball or rock. Our kids are being pampered and can’t fully develop their throwing arms. I’ve heard in some up-scale neighborhoods, the nannies and butlers actually throw the snowballs for their employers.

Example #2: The Wireless Multi Player Poker Game

The text reads: “This wireless poker game allows you and up to five other players to compete in your own casino-style Texas Hold 'Em poker tournaments with an on-screen television display. The game includes a main unit that plugs into your TV and six wireless handheld controllers that allow players to manage their hands while keeping them hidden using the controllers' built-in sliding covers. When displayed on a TV screen, the game presents an overhead view of an oval poker table and icons that show player status and winnings; hole cards and community cards are also displayed in addition to the pot. The main unit requires four AA batteries, and individual controllers require three AAA batteries.”

WTF? Why not just get a deck of cards? To activate the game as indicated above, you require 22 AAA batteries. Has it become too cumbersome and tiresome to SHUFFLE cards on your own?

It’s no wonder that Trivial Pursuit has been accused of “Dumbing Down” it’s latest game releases.

What happened to the idealist Walton’s? They used to make all of their Christmas gifts.

I remember the first time my kids asked me for a motorized scooter. After I stopped laughing, I explained that my first scooter didn’t even have wheels. I had to carry it for an entire year until I got the wheels the next Christmas.

Happy Holidays.