October 13 - FRIDAY FUNNY - Golf Book

This week’s FRIDAY FUNNY comes from an old friend, Phil.

Phil actually started a blog, Philly’s Gab Central, after being inspired by my blogging. Phil does not post as frequently as yours truly. He has had one post since May. I think his postings are rare due to one of the following reasons:

• Intense work and family commitments
  
• Too little time left after much needed golf lessons
  
• Phil’s wife, being from Michigan, has a hard time comprehending the intricacies of the real world. Phil spends much time keeping her away from hot objects, sharp instruments, and Tequilla.

At any rate, Phil and I golfed together last Monday. He forwarded to me the following chapters of a proposed Golf Book.


NEW BOOK ON GOLF:

Chapter 1 - How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt

Chapter 2 - How to Hit a Dunlop from the Rough When You Hit a Titleist from the Tee

Chapter 3 - How to Get More Distance off the Shank

Chapter 4 - When to Give the Ranger the Finger

Chapter 5 - Using Your Shadow on the Greens to Maximize Earnings

Chapter 6 - When to Implement Handicap Management

Chapter 7 - How to Rationalize a Six Hour Round

Chapter 8 - How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the Water

Chapter 9 - Why Your Spouse Doesn't Care That You Birdied the 5th

Chapter 10 - How to Let a Foursome Play Through Your Twosome

Chapter 11 - How to Relax When You Are Hitting Three off the Tee

Chapter 12 - When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent

Chapter 13 - God and the Meaning of the Birdie-to-Bogey Three-Putt

Chapter 14 - When to Re-grip Your Ball Retriever

Chapter 15 - Can You Purchase a Better Golf Game?

Chapter 16 - Rules Interpretation: "Loss of Ball is Penalty Enough..."

Chapter 17 - Why Male Golfers Will Pay $5.00 a Beer from the Cart Girl and Give Her a $3 Tip, But Will Balk at $3.50 at the 19th Hole and Stiff the Bartender